That’s the theme of our post for today. It was suggested by Debbie Schlussel, whose latest movie review is titled “So, Lois Lane is a Single Mom . . . & a Slut: Notes on Superman Returns”
In it, Debbie explains that Lois slept with two men during the same time frame, wasn’t sure which one fathered her baby, and won a Pulitzer, so she’s a slut. Previously, Debbie has described Sharon Stone as an ”aging slut,” has referred to Angelina Jolie as a “slank,” and called Star Jones as a “whore” So, she’s kinda into labeling.
But interestingly enough, when a blogger (okay, that Rottweiler guy) called her an “ignorant slut,” she demanded deletion of the item, a retraction, and still threatened to sue him. (“Please note that because the defamation you engaged in was sexual in nature–making it defamation per se–your prominent, written retraction and deletion of the items does not relieve you of liability for money damages, which we will be pursuing in Michigan court.”)
While I’m too lazy to do any research into the outcome of her Michigan lawsuit, I imagine that she won a partial victory, since while she would have had to concede the “ignorant” part, she’s clearly no “saucy girl” (although she may well be a “slovenly woman”).
And while Sharon, Angelina, and Star may be feeling a bit defamed, I’m sure Debbie just made her comments about them the spirit of good-natured fun, and so they’d better not join Lois in filing a class-action suit against Debbie, since everyone knows that when conservative is joking, she is above criticism..
And speaking of sluts and humor, Ann Coulter gave another interview to Human Events Online. Here’s the part where Ann explains that when she calls for other people’s deaths, she’s just kidding — can’t you liberals take a joke?
Is it accurate for your defenders to say that a lot of what you write is tongue-in-cheek?
Obviously some of the things I write are tongue-in-cheek. These are known in the writing business as “jokes.” Liberals pretend that they can’t tell if I’m joking or not because they think people will actually believe, just to pick one example, that I have seriously called for the murder of a U.S. congressman. (I described John Murtha as: “the reason soldiers invented fragging.”) Fortunately, my readers are not as stupid as liberals and know a joke when they hear one.
Yeah, her readers can tell that remark about Murtha was a joke because it was so damned funny. And hey, just because a “lack of empathy” is one of the key symptoms of Narcissistic Personality Disorder, nobody should be thinking that Ann is suffering from it. (You should think it because she seems to be suffering from ALL the symptoms.)
And speaking of how women are all whores who put their Pulitzers before finding true love with worthy men like Christian Hartsock, here’s young Mr. Hartsock with “”The politics of the bedroom.”
Liberals are like babies. They are. You give a baby a beautiful, shining glass vase and he’ll smash it on the floor. In the same way, God gave us marriage and sex and liberals have ruined both of those too.
Wait, God gave us marriage and sex and liberals, and babies ruined all of them? Damned babies!
(But I thought it was the gays who ruined marriage, and porn that ruined sex – Christian is going to get in trouble for not adhering to the guidelines of the Wingnut Style Manual.)
In the 1950s, marriage was something women looked forward to, so much that they married at ages like 19 and 20. (Part of the reason was because they were actually waiting until marriage to have sex, unlike liberals, who encourage young teenagers to lick condoms and show their “orgasm faces” in front of a camera during mandatory “AIDS Awareness” presentations.)
To a woman, a man interested in commitment was the biggest turn-on. It was commitment that young women longed for.
If only 20-year-old Christian could have lived in the 1950’s, then his desire for life-long commitment would have been admired and appreciated, and he would have been considered a sexy studmuffin. Then he could have slept with SCADS of women!
In fact, for generations since, the stereotype has been that women long for commitment while men have at least fourteen one-night-stands to get out of their system before they even consider settling down with a woman. (And even after they’re married if they find another one buried deep under the cushions, oh well! A man’s gotta do what a man’s gotta do.)
Just how many generations since the 1950’s does Christian think there have been?
(And you’ll note that Christian thinks that this “stereotype” is actually a blueprint for how things should be, and the problem is that women are ruining things by not embracing this double standard.)
But not anymore. Today women are afraid of commitment. While they may have a soft spot for songs with lyrics like “If you leave me now, you’ll take away the biggest part of me” or “Michelle…I need you, I need you, I need you…,” if you yourself utter those words to a woman, she will accuse you of “overwhelming” or “suffocating” her and will immediately dash to open the nearest window and gasp for breath.
I think we need to have a contest where we try to guess what recent incident in Christian’s life triggered this column. (I’m going to say that it involved him breaking into Michelle Malkin’s house, but her not appreciating his naked serenade or attempts to suffocate her.)
This is what feminism has done to women. It has demonized marriage, it has demolished prudence, and it has denigrated the concept of commitment.
And it has desiccated the practice of singing Peter Cetera songs to one’s stalkee.
But yeah, it’s all feminism’s fault that young virgins don’t flock to Christian, demanding that he marry them.
Aside from seeing it as a form of chauvinistic slavery, liberals see marriage as a commitment in the same way they see talking to someone on the subway as a commitment. Remember when first base was asking a girl out, second base was kissing her, and third base was a relationship?
Um, no, I don’t remember that. I can only guess that Christian is from an alternate universe where a “home run” is “a friendly handshake.”
Well now, first base is having sex, second base is getting married, and third base is leaving your spouse for Angelina Jolie.
Nowadays, for women, the prerequisites to getting married (whatever that means) are having sex with about a dozen men and having at least one abortion (and preferably a partial-birth one).
I guess I should ask Ann Coulter’s readers if that was a joke. I mean, nobody was killed, maimed, or poisoned in it, but it did make reference to “partial-birth abortion,” and it wasn’t all that funny — so I’m thinking that Christian’s tongue was in his cheek (which is as good a place as any for it) when he wrote those lines.
But I could be wrong, since I just don’t get conservative “humor.”
If liberals only knew what they were missing out on with their hedonism and their debauchery and their insistence on fornicating with every fish in the sea before they do the whole “marriage” thing, they would realize that it is devout Christians who are having the best sex right now out of anyone on the planet.
I’m assuming that Christian doesn’t know about all the hot Christian sex from personal experience, since he is unmarried. But when he does find a gal who will commit to him, man, it will be so sweet! He will be having the best sex on the planet for hours on end. Take that, lefty scum!
No, wait, it can never happen now, since the liberal babies broke marriage and sex with all their fish fornication. Sorry, Mr. Hartsock – there will be no sex for you!
Posted by s.z. on Monday, July 3rd, 2006 at 4:37 am.