The World O' Crap Archive

Welcome to the Collected World O' Crap, a comprehensive library of posts from the original Salon Blog, and our successor site, (2006 to 2010).

Current posts can be found here.

Thursday, January 27, 2011

May 15, 2006 by scott

I’ve never been able to work up much interest in the whole question of Tom Cruise’s sexuality, since he’s probably too busy choking his own Body Thetan to deal with anyone else’s alien ghost ridden corpus (although I have to agree with Kathy Griffen’s observation, “Have you noticed that the gays don’t want Tom Cruise anymore, now that he’s crazy?”)
But earlier today I took my 90-year old grandfather to see Mission Impossible: III for Mother’s Day (don’t ask) and it had the unforseen side effect of pretty much settling the issue.
Tom Cruise shaves his armpits.
‘Nuff said.

7 Responses to “Why Am I a Hairless Humunculus? Page 213”

Tom Cruise shaves his armpits.
Well, doesn’t everyone?
Well, speaking as a Random Heterosexual Male, I must say that I must admit that I would never, ever, EVER shave my armpits. If you cite this as evidence than Mr. Cruise does not fall into the RHM category, well, who would I be to argue?
But on the other hand, were you to claim that he’s not a RHM because he epilates his armpits, well… Them’d be fightin’ words.
Technically, at least half of us never wanted Tom Cruise in the first place.
“Choking his own body Thetan” has to be the best euphemism I’ve heard in ages. Bravo!
Oh come one, like you’ve never had a body thetan get all tangled up in your armpit hair and had to shave it to get it off.
Now, if it were Doug Giles then it would mean something else.
David Beckham shaves his armpits and I’m pretty sure he’s just metrosexual.

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