The World O' Crap Archive

Welcome to the Collected World O' Crap, a comprehensive library of posts from the original Salon Blog, and our successor site, (2006 to 2010).

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Friday, January 28, 2011

June 29, 2006 by s.z.

Before I start another round of kitten feeding, I think I have time to check my NewsMax email.
Hey, this looks important:

Coulter: N.Y. Times Committed ‘Treason’
Ann Coulter once said that her “only regret with [Oklahoma City bomber] Timothy McVeigh is he did not go to the New York Times building.”
Her acid comments about America’s most influential newspaper no doubt found new meaning in the wake of the Times’ decision to disclose top-secret programs the U.S. government is using to capture terrorists.
Yeah, she now wishes that McVeigh had kllled all the men, women, and visiting grade-school children in the building TWICE!
Coulter was writing about what she called “the latest of a long list of formerly top-secret government antiterrorism operations that have been revealed by the Times,” noting that “last week the paper printed the details of a government program tracking terrorists’ financial transactions that has already led to the capture of major terrorists and their handmaidens in the U.S.”
To Coulter, a lawyer, that amounted to nothing less than treason, and she wants the newspaper punished for betraying a vital antiterrorism operation meant to prevent future 9/11s.
Remember, Ann is a lawyer (don’t let the pretty face fool you)!  So, let’s allow her to explain the laws of the land to us.
Liberals, she wrote, invoke ‘freedom of the press’ like some talismanic formulation that requires us all to fall prostrate in religious ecstasy. On liberals’ theory of the First Amendment, the safest place for Osama bin Laden isn’t in Afghanistan or Pakistan; it’s in the New York Times building.”
Freedom of them press, she explained “does not mean the government cannot prosecute reporters and editors for treason — or for any other crime. The First Amendment does not mean Times editor Bill Keller could kidnap a child and issue his ransom demands from the New York Times editorial page.
He couldn’t?  Damn it, I guess that kid is doomed now, since Bill can’t issue his ransom demands.
He could not order a contract killing on the op-ed page.
That kind of thing is reserved for Ann. (Will NOBODY rid her of this turbulent NY Times building? She’ll make it worth your while.)
Nor can he take out a contract killing on Americans with a Page One story on a secret government program being used to track terrorists who are trying to kill Americans.
Yeah, telling the terrorists that we are monitoring their (and a lot of other people’s) banking matters is “taking out a contract killing on Americans” because, um, … well, it just is. Ann is a lawyer, and so she knows about this kind of thing.
Well, the kittens are demanding sustenance, so that’s it for the NewsMax email for right now. Tune in later for such exciting missives as “Sen. Jim Bunning: NY Times Committed Treason”; “Rush Limbaugh’s Favorite Political and Pharmaceutical Ads”; and “V.P. Dick Cheney to Shoot Superman in the Face.”

10 Responses to “All The News That’s Fit to Blow Up”

WTF is she talking about? Is she even *trying* to make sense anymore?
Good luck with the kittens. Remember, they’re only this young once. Thank God.
“Freedom of them press, she explained “does not mean the government cannot prosecute reporters and editors for treason — or for any other crime.”
That’s right, freedom of the press is only what we mean it to be at the moment. YOu go Anne!
Jon Stewart once called one of her books “The Diary of Ann Frankly-Out-Of-Her-Mind”.
A pity for mAnn that the SWIFT program, um, wasn’t “Top Secret.” She’s still batting 1000!
I’m making it my mission to ask everyone who writes about Coulter to refer to her only as Comedian Ann Coulter. The fact that she’s called a pundit or a critic or (heaven forbid) a writer demeans all of those professions. Of course, there are hardworking comedians as well, but because they call themselves comedians we know how to interpret their work. And Comedian Ann Coulter’s spewings should be interpreted the same way. Giving them the same weight we would a Times (or USA Today) editorial is giving her too much creedence.
Republican Spokesman Coulter sounds right to me.
Rabies Victim Ann Coulter?
Fish offal Ann Coulter, left out in the sun for a week, and now even the seagulls turn up their beaks at it? (OK, it’s a bit less than concise….)
“major terrorists and their handmaidens ”
Major terrorists have handmaidens? Who knew?
Day-YAmn. What a good article. Learned things about AC that I never wanted to know (like who she is and why she’s a quasi-celeb). You’re a great blogger. I had lukewarm tea shoot into my nose. I hate you :-)
Hope the kitties are well.

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