The World O' Crap Archive

Welcome to the Collected World O' Crap, a comprehensive library of posts from the original Salon Blog, and our successor site, world-o-crap.com (2006 to 2010).

Current posts can be found here.

Friday, January 21, 2011

February 12, 2006 by s.z.


So, It's Come to This?


I don't read the papers (or watch the news, or turn on the computer) for a few days, and this is the kind of thing that I come back to?!?
(Okay, I added the scare quotes, but I think I was reasonable in my actions, which makes them legal.) 
Here's the gist of the story, in case you haven't already read it:
WASHINGTON (Reuters) - Vice President Dick Cheney accidentally wounded a companion with shotgun pellets on a weekend quail hunt in Texas, his office said on Sunday. [...] The vice president's office did not disclose the accident until the day after it happened.
It takes time to buy off witnesses, you know.

And anyway, the guy who got shot, Harry Whittington, is in "stable condition," and it was all his fault anyway, so everyone should go about their business, because there's nothing to see here.
Katharine Armstrong, whose family owns the ranch, was a member of the hunting party and witnessed the accident.
[...]
"A bird flew up, the vice president followed it through around to his right and shot, and unfortunately, unbeknownst to anybody, Harry was there and he got peppered pretty good with a spray of 28-gauge pellets," Armstrong said in a telephone interview.
[...]
She described Cheney as "an excellent, conscientious shot."
"The person who is not doing the shooting at the point is just as responsible and, should be, as the person actually shooting," Armstrong said.
So, it's really Harry's fault for being, unbeknownst to anyone, in the same space occupied by the Vice President's pellets.  In fact, Harry's actions probably constitute some kind of federal crime (lese vice majesty, or something).  So, once he recovers from his wounds, the Secret Service will no doubt have a long conversation with him about using his unearthly powers to sneak up on people to make the VP look bad by spoiling his shot.

But personally, I'm kind of disappointed in Cheney. Sure, we all knew that it was some day he'd inevitably want to play "The Most Dangerous Game" while on one of his hunting trips, but didn't you think that it would be done with a little more panache? 
7:01:42 PM    

I'm Back!


Sorry about deserting you for a week. I've been feeling crummy (I think it was a case of wingnut toxicity), and just couldn't summon the strength to turn on the computer, much less check into the antics of the Powerline boys or the World's Wackiest Pastors.

Thanks for your concern - I credit YOU, the Wo'C reader, for helping me survive this crisis of faith and will.  So, to show my appreciation, here's something you probably won't read anywhere else: some highlights of an interview that Senator Orrin Hatch gave to my local paper:

First, regarding the Bush administration's warrantless wiretap program:
[T]he president has what at least five Circuit Court of Appeals have called “an inherent power to protect our homeland.” He has acted within the law as the law sits today. He has inherent authority to conduct warrantless surveillance so long as that surveillance is reasonable. There’s a stand-off between the Congress and the executive branch about just how far his powers go. Many of us believe that he is not out of line to have used his inherent powers.  
Yes, President Bush has inherent powers (which are like super powers, only cooler) which he uses in his never ending fight for truth, justice, and the American way and homeland.  But, as his Aunt May Karl once told him, "With great power comes great reasonableness," a saying that he really took to heart.   So, everything the President has done has been totally legal.

Now, a testimonial about Samuel Alito and John Roberts' suitability for the Supreme Court
They are tremendous people. You will no longer have people just off the top of their heads deciding to make laws from the bench.
Yes, we're well rid of Sandra Day O'Connor and Rehnquist, and their "just off the top of their heads deciding to make laws from the bench" ways.  Thank heavens we'll never again have people doing that kind of thing, all thanks to Alito and Roberts.

Next, Orrin answers a question about the "Jack Abramoff scandal and the allegations against U.S. Rep. Tom DeLay, R-Texas."
A: The Jack Abramoff situation is a scandal. Nobody can justify the activities he was doing, but to blame all lobbyists in Washington for what he did would be absolutely wrong. Many of the lobbyists in town are people with great skill and great ability who are honest.
There’s been so much bad publicity about that — as there should be — that Congress now is re-looking at all the ethics rules. In all honesty, individuals from both parties got a lot of money from Jack Abramoff and his affiliates. To blame one party over another is just ridiculous.
Yes, you should keep in mind that most lobbyists are great guys and gals, who are doing the vital work of trying to influence elected officials to benefit their paid clients.

You should also remember that individuals from both parties got a lot of money from Abramoff and his "affiliates" ("affiliates" now being the new term for "anybody who ever met somebody we don't like, be it Abramoff or al Qaeda").  And you should just put out of your mind any suggestion that the individuals from one of the parties got less money from those affiliates than they did formerly, all because of Abramoff, and there doesn't seem to have been any quid pro quo that went along with those donations -- meaning that, in all honesty, only one party has is facing an Abramoff "scandal."
(BTW, a couple of Orrin's pet phrases seem to be "Let’s be honest about it," and "in all honesty" -- I imagine that a psychologist might find this significant.)

But what about DeLay?
A: Rep. DeLay is innocent until proven guilty, and that prosecutor (Travis County, Texas, District Attorney Ronald Earle) is one of the sleaziest in the history of this country. He did this to (Republican U.S. Senator) Kay Bailey Hutchison, and put her through hell trying to get her to lose her Senate seat and then the minute she won he dismissed the charges.
In the case of DeLay, I can’t judge all that. All I can say is that they hate DeLay because he’s a hard-charging Republican. But I wouldn’t trust that prosecutor as far as you could throw him.
While Orrin can't judge the allegations against ol' Tom, he can say that Tom is probably just being picked on because he's a hard-charging Republican, while District Attorney Earle is one of the sleaziest prosecutors in the history of this country.  But in any case, Tom in innocent until proven guilty, while Earle is a scumbag.

Now, the reason why Orrin should be elected to a sixth term:
The reason is there are so many things I can do that I’m not sure anyone else can, and I’m on the right committees to do them. Within the next few years, I’ll be chairman or ranking on the Senate Finance Committee, which is the most powerful committee in the country.
And then he can rule the world!  And that's something that he's not sure that anyone else can do.

Finally, some thoughts about the Iraq War
I said when we went into this war that we needed to take this fight to them overseas, not on our land and so far, that’s worked very well.
And if it hasn't worked out so well for the people whose land it was, that's just tough for them.
And anyway, any problems are all the the U.N.'s fault.  Or it's the fault of those danged Iraqis.  It's certainly not the administrations's fault if reality won't cooperate with the President's plans.
The problem is, we have weak nations in the U.N. who won’t stand up the way they should. It took us 10 years to formulate and do our Constitution. They’ve got theirs in a much shorter period of time. The question is, will they be able to follow through with a representative form of government? The answer to that is, we hope. It’s an uphill battle, and it always has been. We can’t lose our nerve.
And what if they don't follow through with a representative form of government?  Or what if whatever government they select orders us out? 

Well, we can't lose our nerve.  We leave on our terms, not theirs.  That's what freedom is all about.
In any case, the President is "steering our country in the right direction," for he is a man who "has had the guts to take on terrorists all over the world," but who “hasn’t forgotten about God.”  You don't find that combination of guts and memory in lesser mortals, so we should support him and all his policies as a matter of faith.

Oh, and we should also vote once again for Senator Hatch, because when he rules the all-important Finance Committee, he might make it worth your while (or at least your affiliates might see some benefits).

6:32:19 PM    

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