January 30, 2006 by s.z.

Super Bowl Terror

 

WorldNetDaily's Joseph Farah has the scoop -- it comes in a report which was adapted from his "premium, online, weekly intelligence newsletter" which you can subscribe to for only $99. 

Let's edit that report for time:

There is a high likelihood of a major terrorist attack next Sunday, say international terror analysts and intelligence sources.

[...]

[However] authorities say there are "no credible threats against the Super Bowl."

Basically, the "international terror analysts and intelligence sources" said that if you use a method similar to the Bible Code to analyze the most recent al Qaeda videotapes, you get Feb. 5 as the date of their next attack.  Then, if you factor in the fact that the terrorists have been chattering lately, that 5 Feb (like about any date you name) is "significant to Osama bin Laden," and that "Much of the western world will be watching television that day;" then it's obvious that the Super Bowl is going to be attacked next week, possibly by an unstable Vietnam vet in the Goodyear blimp.

Anyway, now that you're up to speed, you can vote in the WorldNetDaily Daily Poll, which is asking "Do you expect al-Qaida to conduct an attack associated with the Super Bowl?"

Here's my favorite response, which is currently the second most popular:

Yes, violent, radical Muslims would love to destroy our culture by killing people at the top American football game 20.65% (32)

Yup, if you kill people at the top American football game, then it would destroy our culture.

1:40:35 AM