April 4, 2006 by s.z.

The Stupidest  

These are the pieces that I found the most annoyingly stupid out of all the stuff I've read today.  However, you are welcome to nominate your own choices, as there is no lack of stupidity out there.

1.   My first nominee is a column by Phyllis Schlafly in which she claims that it's unconstitutional for men to be prosecuted for domestic violence in cases where their victims don't testify against them.  (Hey, maybe the women LIKE getting smacked around and murdered and such, so if the victims don't file complaints, then what business is it of the state's?).  Phyllis blames these prosecutions on "overzealous prosecutors" who are doing the bidding of "radical feminists." 

She tells us about one case where a guy had to go to jail for 20 whole days for beating his wife (well, actually for violating the terms of his probation by beating his wife).  The Supreme Court (including radical feminist Ruth Bader Ginsburg) still hasn't ruled on the issue -- and, as Phyllis, says, "The issue is, which comes out on top: the Constitution or the feminist agenda?"

Officers from the Peru, Ind., police department had made an unsolicited visit to the Hammon couple (presumably after a call from a neighbor). Finding that the Hammons' argument had ended, but broken glass and a broken gas heater in the house, the policeman asked both husband and wife what happened. Each said the argument was over and everything was fine.

Unwilling to accept the couple's own resolution of the dispute, a policeman interrogated the Amy Hammon separately to get her side of the argument. This time, she informed the officer that she and her husband had indeed had an argument. Unlike her husband, Amy Hammon claimed it was violent - culminating with Hershel Hammon shoving her head into a gas heater, breaking its glass, and punching her in the chest. At the officer's request, the wife completed a battery affidavit conveying these allegations.

The wife did not press charges and never showed up in court. Undeterred, without ever putting the wife on the witness stand, the prosecutor obtained a battery conviction of the husband based on the signed legal paper.

Hershel Hammon received a one-year prison sentence, for which he spent 20 days in jail. His home was ruined and, with this serious conviction on his record, his ability to support his family was substantially diminished.

Yes, Phyllis is, without even a speck of irony, blaming the state (and those evil radical feminists) for ruining Hershel's home, even though Hershel is the one who wrecked the joint, broke a bunch of stuff, and shoved his wife's head into a gas heater and punched her twice in the chest. 

And that, kids, is why she's the godmother of wingnuttery.

2.  Next, here's Kevin Fobbs, who's still trying to get "Terri's Day" recognized as an official holiday.  His latest Terri Schiavo column says that if the Founding Fathers had only thought to add the right to bread and water to the Bill of Rights, Terri would be alive today. 

And then he goes the extra mile into Wingnut Land by trying it all in with today's hot topic, illegal immigrants.

Would Terri Schiavo still be alive today if her right to eat and to consume water was tied to her usefulness in America's economy? Would Congressional leaders on Capitol Hill be giving stirring speeches about the anguish her family was going through and how our nation just could not subject her family — Mary, Bob, Bobby and Suzanne — to if only Terri's life had as much value as all those illegal aliens filling our nation's streets, many of them with unfurled Mexican flags?

Wow.  Just wow.

Since I really can't add anything to that, here's another paragraph from Kevin:

But it was not and the need for a Terri's Day that rallies Americans to the same passion to protect their loved ones that motivates millions of pledges to make clear for their families their "will to live" that champions the forgotten Constitutional Amendment that Benjamin Franklin, Thomas Jefferson, and all the other signers of the Declaration of Independence may have overlooked is necessary. The simple right to bread and water. We give it to prisoners but it was not good enough for an innocent, harmless American young woman, who loved animals, butterflies and life.

Geez, you'd think that at least Benjamin Franklin would have thought to put an "all women with severely atrophied brains who love butterflies shall have the right to bread and water, even if they don't want it" clause into the Declaration of Independence.   It's like the Signers didn't even care about this innocent, harmless, American young woman!

3.  Now, enjoy this free sample of Marie Jon', the Sweetheart of Sadly, No!  Her latest column is entitled "Illegal aliens' emotional effect on America," and it's about how those swaggering, vulgar, brutish brown folks are giving her the vapors.

There are not enough words to explain the emotions one feels when seeing the massive hoards of unwanted illegal aliens flooding the streets.

Quick, somebody invent some more words, so that Marie can express the emotions she feels when seeing people she doesn't want on her streets!

No, wait -- she seems to be doing okay with the words she has.  Kids, maybe YOU can name her emotions! (I'm guessing outrage, disgust, and sexual arousal.)

There they were in all their vulgar tenacity yelling insults and demanding rights that do not belong to them. Illegal people are lawbreakers. They willfully broke America's laws when they crossed over our borders.

What a picture these ungrateful invaders painted as they streamed before TV cameras. In so many words, we did not have to understand these violators native tongue (Spanish) to grasp the meaning of their presence. They were insulting, aggressive, and mean spirited.

What they conveyed was arrogance and total disrespect for every single citizen of this country. One could plainly see defiant hostility and overbearing mannerisms emulating from this throng of people. Their body language was a picture all unto itself. Their pompous bearing swagger was much more telling than the banners they held or the gang signs they flashed. In plain English, these trespassers were saying: "We are here and in your face. What are you going to do about it?"

What emotional effects does the image of these organized marches and boycotts have on America's psyche?

Is Marie implying that America needs psychological counseling to help it recover from the psychic shock of seeing disrespectful body language?  Gee, I never know our national psyche was so fragile.

4  Lastly, Don Feder offers us a Human Events Online column called "The Media's War on the 'War On Christians' Conference." It's about how the media just doesn't care that Christians are being persecuted in this country. 

Don's examples of "real persecution" include the film V for Vendetta (which features futuristic Christians as the bad guys); the fact that employers in California can be fined for discriminating against transsexuals; and comments from people like Robert Reich, who called evangelicals "a clear and present danger to religious liberty in America."  (Yeah, most of the "persecution" boils down to "Christians" having to tolerate the existence of other people, while not getting to be the boss of everybody.)

The horror, the horror! 

Anyway, here's Don: 

The news and entertainment media, public education, higher education, the judiciary and a fair number of corporations and foundations are in the hands of ideologues who despise Bible-believing Christians, and who rarely miss an opportunity to smear them, to foment hatred against them and to circumscribe their activities.

Give the National Socialists credit for candor. In 1920s Germany, if a Jew had said to a Nazi, "You hate me," the goose-steeper would have replied: "You’re right, Jew. And if we ever get a chance, we’ll kill you." He would not have accused his victim of paranoia, hysteria, disrespecting real religious persecution, and making wild allegations for fundraising purposes.

So, if you go see V For Vendetta, you are basically a Nazi.  I hope you rot in hell, you bastard!

1:41:49 AM