Carnival of the War on Christmas
A round-up of the writings of some of our mightiest Christmas warriors.
(I keep hoping that TBogg will come up with a catchy trademarked name for these brave soldiers who are fighting the good fight against the forces of "Happy Holidays" -- you know, something like the "101st Fighting Round Yon Virgins," only better).
But while we're waiting for their just descriptor, let's meet the troops.
1. First, there's Renew America's Guy Adams, with the featured column "The battle against Christmas."
Christmas has become a treasured and beloved American icon. At this time of the year, how many of you fondly think back to your childhood and recall many precious memories of those times? I know I do. I still look forward to it: the true meaning of Christmas, the decorations, the aroma of Christmas cookies
My mother used to bake the best Christmas cookies -- you could really taste the Christ in them. (I think her secret was molasses.)
But anyway, Guy's point is while Christmas is universally beloved, some people hate it -- and thus are fighting against Jesus, America, you, and your innocent little children.
For a handful, like the ACLU (arguably the Against Christmas Liberties Union), it's positively the most offensive time of the year. It is a battle against Christmas. They're trying to take "Christ" out of Christmas. I believe it is a battle against you and your children.[...]Know this: The ACLU is most assuredly behind the attack on Christmas, and the organization's anti-Christian campaign is hurtful to America and American culture. It's hurtful to you. Whenever a minority wields the power to force their views on the majority, as the ACLU has done, it infringes on your rights as a citizen of a democracy.
Yeah, your democratic right to force everyone acknowledge the superiority of your religion is being infringed upon, and it's like the ACLU punched you in the nose. Are you just going to stand there and take it, you wuss?
But if you were to shoot everyone who fails to wish you a Merry Christmas, it would be ruled an act of self defense, since they started it.
Guy goes on to provide his own round-up of War On Christmas battle stories, including quotes from such Christmas stalwarts as Manuel Zamorano, founder of the Committee to Save Merry Christmas; Bill Donohue; and John Gibson. He even shares with us the story of Michelle Malkin's poor, old mother who went to the post office to buy Madonna stamps for her holy Christmas cards, only to be told that there is no room in the inn for them.
Columnist Michelle Malkin says of her mother at Christmas time: "Every year she always selects the Christmas stamp that features a classic painting of Madonna and Child. She asks if they have any classic Christmas stamps and the man pulls out a couple of sheets of last year's Madonna and Child. Mom notices he doesn't seem happy as he says to her, "These are all I have and they'll be the last you ever see." Mom asks, "What do you mean?" He explains that the "USPS will not be issuing any more 'religious' stamps."
And while it isn't true that the USPS won't be issuing any more religious stamps, and it wasn't actually Michelle Malkin's gray-haired mother who got the misinformation from the postal clerk (it was Darleen's), if you have enough faith in Christmas, then the facts don't matter and you too can experience the Christmas miracle of being persecuted by the post office.
The spineless declare that we cannot say "Christmas" because that would insult all of the non-Christian world. Well, as a believer in Jesus Christ, I say it is time, and beyond time, that we insult them!Jesus said He came not to bring peace, but a sword.
And it's time we used that sword to make the non-Christian world celebrate Christmas! It could be a Christmas Crusade! Afterwards, we can meet for hot chocolate and some of my Mom's Christmas cookies.
I have never written an advertising campaign. When I run newspaper ads for the church I serve, I have the paper's art department work up ideas for me. But with this column I am offering an ad -- feel free to use it:"If this is only the 'Holiday Season,' if this is not 'Christmas,' then you do not have a Savior! Merry Christmas!"
Not bad. But I think I can come up with something even more offensive. How about, "If you think this is only the 'Holiday Season,' then you can eat crap and die! Merry Christmas, you unsaved bastard!"
3. Jerry Falwell urges us to "Join hands to defend Christmas" (although it's easier to use your sword or handgun if your hands are free.)
This week, House Speaker Dennis Hastert, R-Ill., wrote a letter to the architect of the U.S. Capitol urging that the so-called "Capitol Holiday Tree" be renamed the "Capitol Christmas Tree," as it was known for many years.[...]Thankfully, Speaker Hastert has drawn attention to this ludicrous effort to totally secularize the American public square.
And drawn attention away from all the current Republican scandals, if only for a moment. And that's the true spirit of Christmas.
In the most recent issue of the National Liberty Journal, a publication I publish, we highlighted a series of stories on the national "Friend or Foe" movement that has been initiated by attorney Mat Staver and his Liberty Counsel, a 700-attorney religious-freedom firm that is affiliated with Jerry Falwell Ministries.
When I heard about the national "Friend or Foe" movement, it reminded me of a scene from Invasion USA where Russian troops dressed like Americans are trying to capture the Capitol. The forces guarding the building ask questions of the advancing soldiers to determine if they are friends or foes. When a guy fails to respond correctly to a question about the Chicago Cubs ("A cub is a young bear," he says in confusion), he is shot dead in his tracks.
I imagine Rev. Falwell's movement is something like that. It probably features armed Christians guarding the mall -- and if you try to enter without using the correct password (which is "Merry Christmas, mo fo!") then you are gunned down in the parking lot. It's the only way to keep our holiday safe from the insidious commie invaders.
Mat Staver and I are planning to help finance an all-out assault in newspapers across the country next year, but we hope to establish a firm foundation with many pastors coming aboard this year.
There really is much work to be done to safeguard Christmas.[...]It's time we join together and protect Christmas from the secular Grinches who want to stifle its celebration in public venues throughout our nation. We can easily win this battle if we all join together.
It really is a war -- note all the martial phrases being used to describe what is supposed to be a time of peace on earth and goodwill to men.
Anyway, Falwell has nothing to offer but blood, sweat, and tears. Not his, of course -- but sacrifices must be made in order to protect our sacred religious holiday from those who would keep it out of the marketplace where it belongs, and instead banish it to homes and churches.
Like I said before, we must fight them at the malls, so we don't have to fight them here.
4. WorldNetDaily offer one stop shopping for all your War on Christmas needs. For instance, there's their plug for 'Just say Merry Christmas' Bracelets:
Capitalizing on the colored-bracelet phenomenon, a group urging Americans to "just say Merry Christmas" is offering a red and green wristband to help push its cause. Operation: Just Say Merry Christmas is offering the bracelets for $2 each.
"The enemies of Christmas have succeeded in making Christians feel as if we are bad and intolerant to wish someone a 'Merry Christmas,'" states the website.
So, to fight those enemies of Christmas, we should all buy and wear rubber bracelets. THAT will teach them to make us feel like we are bad and intolerant. Who's the jerk now? WHO'S THE JERK NOW?
The effort is sponsored by The Catholic Shop.
Remember how all the wingnuts called for a boycott of the American Girl dolls because the American Girls website featured a link for rubber bracelets that benefited the pro-girl program of a group which supported a woman's right to make her own reproductive choices?
Well, I have some information about the people who are selling these Merry Christmas bracelets -- information which should cause all decent people to boycott WorldNetDaily for featuring a link to the Catholic Shop! (Okay, they already do, but humor me, okay?) This info also reveals a shocking secret about the War on Christmas forces.
Okay, the Catholic Shop is run by Dan and Jennifer Giroux. Jennifer Giroux is the founder of "Women Influencing the Nation," an organization created in order to defend Mel Gibson's The Passion of the Christ from feminists. She is a frequent guest on "Scarborough Country" -- I think her finest hour was when she blamed the tsusamis on abortion, homosexual marriage, and "taking Jesus out of Christmas." (Yeah, YOU are responsible for the deaths of all those Indonesians because you said "Happy Holidays.")
And there's more!
Jennifer's brother is failed congressional candidate Jim Condit, Jr. He ran in 2004 on a quasi-Constitution Party platform with a heapin' helpin' of anti-Semitism to give it that extra oomph.
For instance, check out the transcript of his radio ad, "Merry Christmas, AND OFF WITH YOUR HEAD!" Here's a snippet from it:
Many people in the US military believe they are defending our way of life, and our freedom of speech and religion. But, in fact, in 1991, our Israeli run Congress passed a bill that replaces our system.
Congress now says America's basic laws are the Noahide laws -- laws invented by Jewish rabbis. Under the NOAHIDE laws, if anyone practices Christianity [such as celebrates Christmas], they will be tried by a court of Jewish rabbis and sentenced to death.
Sound fantastic? Read about the Noahide laws in a basic Jewish religious book, the Talmud -- go to Sanhedrin 56 and 57.
The thought of killing a person for celebrating Christmas is downright un-American. That’s why our US military MUST NOT fight wars for the Jewish state, Israel.
Yup, the Jews want to kill you for celebrating Christmas -- and that's why the War on Christmas is a matter of life and death!
Jim's ad "Overview of 9-11 and a 2nd Terror Attack," which is about how the Jews staged 9/11 in order to get us to fight a war in the Middle East ("to trick you into letting your son and daughter be drafted to go and fight and die in a needless war in the Middle east for Israel’s benefit – not for America’s"), is also interesting.
So, I think we can see, using the "guilt by association with bracelets" method, that the "War on Christmas" meme is actually part of a crazy anti-Semitic conspiracy theory, and all who support it are against the War on Iraq. Shame, shame, shame on you, Bill O'Reilly!
5. And wrapping up our carnival will be Mr. "Somewhere, Baby Jesus Is Weeping Because Everybody Keeps Picking on Me for Defending Christmas" O'Reilly himself, with "Christmas Under Siege From Secular Forces."
Corporate America should get down on its knees and thank God that the baby Jesus was born 2,000 plus years ago.
Like it says in the Bible, "For God so loved the world that he gave his only begotten son in order to help corporate America with its fourth quarter profits."
But sadly, corporate America isn't showing the proper gratitude to Jesus for his gift to consumerism -- and Bill isn't going to stand for it! Either the various department stores prove to Bill that they are using "Merry Christmas" in their advertising, or he will crush them like the insects they are!
Frankly, the executives who have banished Christmas from their advertising are insane. By doing that, they are offending tens of millions of traditional Americans who respect the Christmas season and want it called exactly what it is -- Christmas.[...]The incredibly dense grinches that run many American companies are so infected with political correctness, so afraid somebody might complain about the word "Christmas" that they throw the baby Jesus out with the bathwater.
King Herod tried that (because he hated Christmas too), and look what happened to him!
Well, humbug. You do that -- I'm shopping elsewhere. Three wise men once came bearing gifts to honor a baby who would grow up to bring a great message to the world. If corporate chieftains are not wise enough to honor that message as well, they don't deserve any Christmas cheer. Simple as that.
Yeah, the book of Matthew tell a beautiful story about an unnamed number of wise men from the East who honored the young child Jesus with merchandising programs designed to capitalize on his birth. And unless the stores start respecting that, then Bill is going to drive them out of business, just to show that he can. Simple as that.
1:50:25 AM
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