February 23, 2004 by s.z.

New Week, Old Friends

Yes, it's Monday, so let's start the week by seeing what some of our old friends are up to.

1.  Sadly, No! (who will never win a copyright infringement suit against us as long as we have those incriminating photos of him and Amber) updates us on young Kyle Williams.  As you will recall, at the end of last year, Kyle dropped out of public school because of  the mandatory drug use, sex education, and impregnanting-girls-out-of-wedlock.  Well, this week Kyle is dropping of out the white race, because of all the gay marriages.  We imagine that the Janet Jackson breast was also somehow responsible for Kyle's decision.  We also imagine that the white race, like the public schools, isn't exactly heartbroken over Kyle's defection.

2.  Do you recall Jen "Pinky Sacrified for God" Shroder?  (She used to be Jennifer "Framed by the Democrats" Schroeder.) 

Well, today she has a new column appearing in MichNews.  It's called Devastating Consequences of Homosexual Marriage, and it's full of the leaps of logic and paranoia that we've come to expect from Jen.  It's about how if gay marriage is made legal, not only will everybody's REAL marriage become unsanctified, but also there will be financial devastation because all the gays will get married just for the insurance benefits, and then there won't be any medical care left for the innocent little children suffering from non-sinful diseases. 

Take it away, Jen: 

Statistics show it is a FACT that the average gay couple does not last long.  In San Francisco, flooded with bath houses and all the activities that go with the average gay life style, you have a people determined to have their sex regardless of the consequences, which are now being reaped, including AIDS and many STDs.  These diseases can be very costly. 

Okay, it's a FACT that the average straight couple does not last long either, since statistics show that most people don't bond for life with every person they date.  And yeah, those randy heterosexuals are a people determined to have their sex, regardless of the consequences -- just ask Neil "Herpes & Paternity Test" Bush about that. 

Oh, and other than AIDS, most STDs don't become that costly, since heterosexuals get the very same ones, and so the medical establishment already thought of penecillin. 

So if you're newly diagnosed with HIV, and you don't have health insurance, what can you do?

You get married.  BOOM.  Medical benefits.

Whoa, so the goverment provides everyone with medical benefits the moment they get married?  That must be one of the Bush administration plans that didn't get much attention.  

But say you are newly diagnosed with HIV and you don't have medical insurance, and you get married, do you get medical coverage for your pre-existing condition?  BOOM.  No.

If and when homosexual marriages begin, the insurance companies are going to be flooded with claims for partners that will probably come and go with the wind, marriages of medical convenience with no care about the sanctity of marriage, or the joining of souls, which is purposed to provide for little children.

Nobody ever told Jen that souls are not reproductive organs. 

How many legitimately married couples are going to lose their medical benefits because companies can no longer afford the skyrocketing cost of medical insurance, footing the bill for all the AIDS and STD victims who cared more about the partner of the month than they did their own medical safety?

How many children will be in sincere need of medical care, but there won't be any, because medical benefits became too expensive, taking care of every STD victim suffering because of their determination to satisfy their lust no matter what the consequences?

Jen seems to believe that there are millions of ailing uninsured homosexuals, just waiting to entice somebody with insurance into marriage so they can take medical benefits away from deserving straight people.  She seems unaware of the fact this country already provides medical treatment for uninsured AIDS victims (with most of the funding coming from the tax dollar paid by average Americans, straight and gay), and it hasn't led to innocent children being kicked out of hospital beds. 

And what the hell makes a "legimately married" straight woman more deserving of insurance benefits for her uninsured husband (or vice versa) than a illegitimately married lesbian?  I mean, if it's a work place benefit, why should only some people get it?  And don't some businesses already offer insurance benefits to same-sex partners, without this causing the collapse of the insurance and medical establishments? 

And why are MY insurance premiums so high?  I'll tell you why: it's because as a single person, my insurance money goes into a pool that includes other people's snotty-nosed kids, who are ALWAYS going to the doctor because children don't have any aquired immunity to common germs, so they're always getting sick.  And they pass around their pathogens in those germ-warfare labs we call schools, where the diseases get mutated into new strains which the kids take home to their parents, who then get sick and go to the doctor too.  And I have to help pay for it all.  So, I am helping to subsidize medical care for Jen's family, and she's not even legimately married! 

I think that somehow this will end with the collapse of both the insurance industry and the American medical system, unless we include more childless gay couples in the insured pool.

3.   When we last heard from our favorite Young Conservative, Judson "Cloned Pandas of Mass Destruction" Cox, he was demanding that President Bush cancel the plan to increase NEA funding, so that the rich people who pay taxes (and own Walmart) would give Judson a raise.

This week, in a piece called The Colluding Press, he's demanding that the press stop talking about Bush being AWOL and devote more attention to the rumors of John Kerry's infidelity, since it was for those kind of stories that the Founding Fathers set up the press as a fourth branch of goverment.

I wish I could report that the press had made a conscious decision not to report scandal for scandal’s sake. However, the allegations of Kerry’s philandering are not easily dismissed. Several witnesses have reported seeing him with intimate female acquaintances other than his wife, and the father of the young woman who is the subject of this story verified the allegations and called Kerry "a sleaze ball." ( The Sun 2/16/04 ) Former Democratic Presidential nominee, ret. Gen. Wesley Clark and Clinton/Gore operative Chris LeHane divulged this information to the press -- that, in itself, is reason for a news story.  

At Liberty University, the students aren't encouraged to read tabloids like The Sun (which contains photos of topless babes), so Judson presumably read it really quickly, before Jerry Falwell caught him with the rag (and before the boobies tempted him to sin).  That must be the reason why he missed the part of the article where the father said that Kerry and his daughter DIDN'T have an affair.  Of course, Judson missed the later story where the father said said he was misquoted and had never called Kerry a "sleaze ball," but that's only to be expected.  

We'll just ignore all the other misinformation in that paragraph (since it's all discredited non-news or unsourced rumor-mongering).   But we will note that with just this one paragraph, Judson, who complained a few weeks ago about being harassed by the left-wing "goon squad" for some column he wrote a year ago, demonstrates that libel laws mean nothing to him.  While he doesn't have any money (nor do the outlets that publish him), if I were Kerry, I'd send young Mr. Cox a letter threatening a law suit.  The kid needs to be taught a lesson; now, before he becomes the next Ann Coulter.

The press has shown no hesitation in repeating unfounded allegations that President Bush was AWOL during his National Guard Service. The White House has released pay stubs, dental records and over 400 pages of documentation from his time in the National Guard. The press claims this vast collection of validating documents "raises more questions than answers." CBS Radio News went so far as to quote a Democratic spokesman who said, "This only proves his teeth were in Alabama ." A bigger story may be the paranoia or arrogance of a Democratic Party that either believes George W. Bush was capable of shipping his teeth to Alabama for the purpose of fooling the country 30 years later, or that thinks Americans are stupid enough to believe so ridiculous a charge!

Let me refer you to last week's Team Leader Report, in which Ed Gillespie said:

• On Thursday the military released records of one Lt. George W. Bush's visit to an Air Force dentist while on guard duty in Alabama.

The media was probably ready to follow up with, "Well, that only proves his teeth were there, but do you have any proof of the rest of his body being there?"

Poor Judson -- apparently Americans ARE stupid enough to believe just about any ridiculous charge.  

And poor Ed: his core supporters get "Democratic spokesman" and "RNC Chairman" confused.   Maybe it's time for him to retire from politics and open that flower shop he's always dreamed of. 

5:33:32 AM