Town Hall: Where the Elite Meet to Break Your Spirit Since I have no creativity left today, I'm going to once again just summarize the Town Hall columns. As on the 26th, the recurring themes are: Gay Marriage is Bad, the Medicare Bill is Bad, Ronald Reagan is Good, and Thanksgiving Means Never Having to Say You're Sorry About Iraq. But today you also get Rich Lowry's favorite beer ads, Ollie North's call for more Wayne Newtons, and some info on which races make the best newspaper men: 1. Jeff Jacoby Worship the free market at the church or synagogue of your choice.
2. Mona Charen On this Thanksgiving Day, Mona is grateful for the world's most wonderful neighbors, the world's cutest and most winsome dog, and for al Qaeda, for giving us a pretext for invading Iraq.
3. Ollie North Celebrities should be seen at USO shows, and not heard.
4. Brent Bozell The Hollywood liberal elite agenda is trying to force homosexuality down our throats by trying to make homophobes look bad.
5. Jacob Sullum The Medicare bill is bad; not because it will privatize medicare, like the Dems said, but because it's really, really expensive. And also some of the stuff the Dems said, only spoken by Republicans.
The "Geneva accord" between Israel and Palestine is a sham of a mockery of a sham because it would require Israel to make some concessions. Besides, Krauthammer didn't vote for Yossi Beilin.
Jonah isn't in favor of homosexuality, in that it's new and trendy. But neither is he behind the Federal Marriage Amendment, because just as Prohibition actually popularized drinking, the FMA could result in millions of Americans flocking to Gayeasies, where they would illegally get married. Jonah suggests letting each state make it's own laws about same-sex unions, and then amending the Constitution to say that the red states don't have to recognize the marriages of the godless, liberal ones.
8. Paul Crespo The Commies would have taken over the world, if not for Reagan. Ron also whipped stagflation, and got rid of malaise.
Bill claims that Andrew Sullivan has a "considerable constituency." Bill also goes along with Jonah's Federalist plan of "Gay marriage for some states, little American flags for others." However, he never answer his title question: "Does Marriage Matter?" I guess he's getting old and it just slipped his mind.
10. Maggie Gallagher Won't somebody PLEASE think of the children? She [Elizabeth Marquardt, "a 33-year-old mother, wife, feminist and lifelong Democrat"] is not going to be deterred by charges of bigotry or hate. Children of divorce, she says, suffer because they don't have a mom and dad in one family: "I really suspect that children of same-sex couples feel the same way, and I will keep raising the question until we find out." 11. Bob Novak Republicans are MEAN! Take for instance, the way they pressured their colleagues to vote for the Medicare Bill.
12. John Hanley It's Thanksgiving in Iraq. Schools and hospitals are opening; there's electricity and a turkey. Oh, and poultry too.
13. Rich Lowry Rich likes beer ads.
14. Edwin J. Feulner The Medicare bill will cause millions of seniors to start take more drugs, because they're free. And who will pay for them? Us taxpayers, that's who!
15. Helle Dale How DARE Tony Blair claim to be our friend, when as soon as our President is gone, he cheats on us with Jacques Chirac? What a slut!
16. John McCaslin Josh quotes some timeless truths about newspapering from a 1934 book given to him a dead Washington Times correspondent.
Josh is presumably of Scottish ancestry, which means he can write just about as well as the Irish, but without all the boozing. Good info to keep in mind. And that concludes our recap of what the great minds of conservatism are saying today about stuff. I hope you learned as much from it as I did. 4:29:05 AM |
Sunny Daze
Yes, the Corner is THE spot for the preschool members of the conservative crowd to "express themselves creatively, and learn such cornerstone cognitive concepts as 'same' and 'different.'" I think it's great that they are using their imaginations and pretending to be Sesame Street characters. To help them in this regard, here are a few bits that they could maybe use for their next playtime project: Count Derb, a geeky-looking middle-aged white man with a foreign accent and an anal-retentive fascination with numbers and gay sex. Here he counts men: One. One man. The voice of one man, crying in the wilderness that everything is crap these days. Two. Two men. Two men trying to consummate a gay marriage. Ha ha. Three. Three men married to each other, which is perfectly acceptable now, thanks to the Massachusetts court ruling. Four. Four men engaged in an orgy. Body parts fitting together in ways that God never intended. Rutting and writhing in intemperate lust on network TV, since Madonna and Britney lowered the threshold of common decency with that MTV kiss. Etc. Jonah Cookie Monster: Sings, "N is for National Review, that's good enough for me." Although, I think that the Jonah/Cosmo dynamics are probably best represented by the song that begins: Doggie Cosmo, you're the one You make punditing lots of fun. Doggie Cosmo, I'm awfully fond of you. Doggie Cosmo, it's not true That you write better than I do. Doggie Cosmo, you're my only real friend It's true. And as for K.Lo, well, I found the perfect Grover quote for her to use as a sig: "Hello, everybody! This is your old furry pal, Grover. Yes. Today I am going to talk to you about this word. And this word is, um... it is, uh... it is a word that I do not know." I also think that K.Lo could play both the parrot AND the plumber in the that favorite old skit. (You know the one: "Whooo is it?" "It's Rich Lowry's Legacy. It's come to fix the sink." "Whooo is it?" "It's Rich Lowry's Legacy. It's COME TO FIX THE SINK." Etc.) Anyway, next time we can talk about who plays Bert to Jonah's Ernie, who is Guy Smiley, and who is Mister Snuffleupagus. 1:53:08 AM |
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