June 3, 2005 by s.z.

Friday AmSt My new American Street post is up.  It's about why some women won't iron your shirts, and how come they are responsible for the culture wars.  You can find it here.  I dedicate it to Rachel and Debbie.  Anyway, if you head over there, I'm sure you will find something interesting, educational, or funny, so check it out, even if you are tired of my stuff. 6:59:15 AM

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Former Republican Babes of the Week A time to check in with a couple of our favorite Ann Coulter wannabees and see what they've been up to lately. Let's start with Stalker Babe (and Canada's pride) Rachel Marsden. First, she has revamped her site (the photoshopped photo of Rachel's face on Julia Roberts' body has been replaced by a photo of Rachel in the de rigueur black leather dress), and she reports that her radio show is on hiatus, as she has "recently moved a few thousand miles away from the station in Vancouver, BC, in order to begin a brand new adventure!"  Um, keeping in mind that her last adventure landed her in jail, I don't know if this is such a good thing.  (And didn't she get a year's probation?  So, why is she being allowed to move a few thousand miles away from her probation officer in order to begin new adventures?)  And apparently at least part of the adventure is that, starting this month, she has a twice weekly column in the National Post, the same conservative paper that features David "Axis of Annoyance" Frum as a columnist.  (Does David's resume also feature poses in boots, a mini skirt, and a bustier?  Somebody might want to check into this.)  Regarding the new gig, Rachel reports that "Rachel is really psyched about that!"  (Note: she said "psyched," not "psycho." Please try to keep that in mind.)  Here's a taste of Rachel's first Post column, Don't Call Guantanamo a Gulag: While there may exist a few incidents of serious abuse, merely having people pose for pictures in undignified positions isn't a severe form of "torture." (Here in North America, some would say, that's called "holidays with the family.")  This (warning: graphic photos) must be the kind of stuff Rachel was talking about.  I don't know about you, but that's not what I call "holidays with the family."  However, if Rachel's family vactions really did include this kind of thing, it may explain the weird pathology that led her to try stalking as a way to find love. Oh, and while at Republican Babes, we reread the bio that Rachel used to use.  Here's part of it: Her writing has appeared in the Vancouver Sun, the Vancouver Province, the National Post, and Macleans Magazine (Canada's national newsmagazine). She has worked at BCTV News (Global TV's national flagship station) in Vancouver, and at ABC-TV's 20/20 News in New York City where she also assisted co-anchor Connie Chung. And that's why we were happy that the Toronto Star's Antonia Zerbisas reminded us that in August 2003, the National Post, Rachel's new employer, printed a rather unflattering article about Rachel that included the following: Biographical information posted on various Web sites notes her "writing has appeared in Macleans magazine and the National Post. That’s a stretch. Marsden once had a letter to the editor published in the National Post. She once had a letter to the editor published in Macleans. And that’s it. Marsden’s various biographies note she "has worked at BCTV News (Global TV’s national flagship station) in Vancouver." Technically, yes. Years ago, while pursuing a college degree in broadcast journalism, Marsden spent a month at BCTV as a volunteer student researcher. Then there is the widely distributed claim that Marsden once worked with ABC Television News in New York City as an assistant to former anchor Connie Chung. "Nobody by the name Rachel Marsden has ever been employed here," says an ABC News spokeswoman. "She might have been an intern, but she was not on our payroll. She is not in our data base." Marsden ignored queries about her contributions to Macleans and the National Post. Regarding ABC News, Marsden wrote that her "official title was ’Production Assistant,’ which included assisting then-anchor Connie Chung at one time." After a bit of prodding, she was a little more forthcoming about her "strategy meetings with members of the Bush administration." These did not entail Marsden sitting in the White House, discussing world affairs with Colin Powell, the U.S. Secretary of State. But I guess that's the kind of experience that the Post looks for in its political columnists. Oh, and per her site, Rachel is also "the Canadian Correspondent for Fox News Channel's 'The O'Reilly Factor'."  We think these two kids just might hit it off!  So, watch for either Rachel or Bill to be arrested circa August of this year. Our second former Republican Babe of the Week is Debbie Schlussel.  Here's her Babe photo in her de rigueur black leather dress: After revewing her Babe bio, checking her site, and then Googling her, it became obvious that while things are looking up for Rachel, Debbie's fortunes have taken a downward slide.  Debbie used to have her columns featured at Town Hall, WorldNetDaily, and TechCentralStation, but now it's just crazy Davey's FrontPageNews for her.  And Debbie hasn't been on TV for months!  Maybe Debbie needs to take a tip from Rachel and try some stalking. Anyway, here's Debbie's latest column, "Lesbian Basketball, Season 9 vs. the Indy Chick": What’s the difference between the WNBA and Danica Patrick? For one thing, she looks like a woman, and they don’t.  You are now free to make comments about Debbie's personal appearance. Then there’s Title IX—affirmative action for useless women’s sports no-one cares about, like water polo and crew (a/k/a “You Gotta Regatta Lesbiatta”). You are now free to speculate about Debbie's sexual orientation.  (Hey, apparently that's what opinion journalism is all about!) WNBA players had Title IX to succeed, but are in season nine of extreme failure.  Danica Patrick—the rookiette race-car driver who came in forth at Sunday’s Indy 500—didn’t have Title IX.  They don’t have it in racing.  The IRL only has that amazing non-governmental program, called, “The Free Market.”  And unlike the WNBA, Patrick competes against the men on their own turf.  And succeeding. That’s the lesson of the last week in sports:  Feminism is phony.  Sports are showbiz.  Good-looking women get endorsements.  Women who look and act like men don’t.  Women who succeed against men on their own turf get respect.  Women who constantly whine about equality—yet need their own, separate, unequal league to succeed—don’t get respect. This explains why Debbie has gotten all those endorsements, and has earned so much respect from men: because of her good looks, and success on mens' own turf. Take a look at the raven-haired, petite Patrick with her long tresses.  Then, look at the 7’2” Margo Dydek of Connecticut’s WNBA team—if you dare.  Which one would guys rather date?  Which one would most young girls rather be like when they grow up? Hint:  They aren’t making a scale version of Dydek Barbie anytime soon.  Dyslexic young girls might unscramble the letters of her surname and get the right idea of what the WNBA is really about. So, young girls, take a lesson from Debbie: your only role models should be women whom they make into Barbies.  Oh, and calling somebody a dyke is what passes for wit among long-time MENSA members. Frankly, we don't have the stomach to deal with the rest of Debbie's column, which is mostly just a recital of rumors and bitchiness about the WMBA players' love lives, non-WASPy baby names, and big feet.  So, we'll just conclude by saying Mamas, Don't Let Your Babies Grow Up to be Republican Babes of the Week.  For obvious reasons.  3:59:07 AM