Memorial Day Dating Advice
Because Valentine's Day is only 9 months away, and you should start preparing now.
Keep in mind that we are all mere humans and sometimes make mistakes in whatever we write in our personal ads and email massages. It is hard to know a person’s heart without first investing a great deal of time and energy in the process. So always try to give people the benefit of the doubt. Typographical mistakes happen. Ask for clarification before you accuse someone of obscenity or harassing you. Look for a pattern of abuse not just one incident or mistake. For example: a woman once asked to have a man banned from the dating service for obscenity and all he did is mistakenly type a “w” instead of a “c”, resulting in the word “whores” instead of “chores”. He meant to send her a reply message stating, “I enjoy doing chores”.
Hey, typos happen. And so do Freudian slips. So, ladies, don't reject a guy just because he tells you that he enjoys doing whores until you actually see him doing the whores. Or don't knock doing whores until you've tried it yourself. Or something.
Have you busted her balls today?
A lot of the Tease to Please technique requires an understanding of a subtle concept that all of us have used at some time or another. It's called "busting her balls" (or a more gentle version is "yanking her chain.")
Yes, "busting her balls" (and the more gentle "yanking her chain") are subtle concepts, all right.
The best example of busting balls (and the most harsh) is from the movie "Goodfellas." There's a famous scene where Tommy DeVito (Joe Pesci) and Henry Hill (Ray Liotta) are in a restaurant after hours, and Joe Pesci's character stops the conversation in mid-laughter to ask Henry what he meant by a comment. "What do you mean, I'm a funny guy? What makes me so funny? Am I a clown?" The situation gets very tense because Tommy looks serious, and Tommy is a bit psycho. Henry starts to back down, getting a little scared. Then Henry figures out that Tommy is just pulling his chain, and they all get a laugh.
When I first saw this scene when the movie came out, it sent a chill down my back. It was EXACTLY how people in my family (and my friends) would clown around, and it has a VERY humbling affect.
Um, I think that tells us all we need to know about Carlos's family and friends. (Should we really be taking dating advice from this guy?)
To do this with a woman, you must be much more gentle, but the situation is much the same.
- You say something to her that could be interpreted as serious, but you are really joking.
- You let her think you're serious for a short period
- You then let her in on it for a sheepish laugh.
As as we learned from how Ray Liotta reacted to Joe Pesci in Goodfellas, busting somebody's balls results in him or her feeling humble, and then being overcome with the desire to have sex with you.
It takes some refinement to know when and where to stop, but it works WONDERS with especially attractive women who are used to getting their own way and manipulating men. You want to strip away this pretense as soon as you can, and busting her balls is how you get there.
Because the only women worth dating are the beautiful stuck-up bitches who think they are better than you -- and it's your job to bring these broads down a peg or two, so that they want to sleep with you.
Now, Carlos takes a question from a fan.
QUESTION:
I thank you for a great book!! I read it through several times. You have mentioned that in our society sex is acceptable within 3 or 4 dates. What happens if she doesn't give it up during that time?
Hey, I think that once again Goodfellas has the answer: you whack her.
3. Now we turn to Swinggcat, author of Swinggcat's Guide to Real World Seduction, who presents an unsolicited testimonial submitted by "J from LA" (who is absolutely not Swinggcat) to the awesome power of Swinggcat's book on how to bed women within hours of meeting them.
What's up man? I bought your book. I read it twice and have an excellent success story to tell you about...
My friend brought me to a bar in Scottsdale, AZ last weekend to meet up with this girl he's dating and her friend. Neither of us knew what to expect with "the friend" but when we got there, I had met her before. In fact, she was the girlfriend of a business partner of mine a few years back. She's 5'9", 120 pounds, brunette with the greenest eyes you could ever imagine. In short, a total hottie. I wanted her then, and you better believe I wanted her now. I made a "cool" attempt at reminding her of who I was and she managed to pretend like she couldn't remember. Nice - - a challenge! So we proceeded to sit down at a table and I ignored her completely at first. I paid particular attention to my friend and his girlfriend and angled my body language 45 degrees away from the other girl.
I'm going to guess that angling your body language away from women in order to show them you're not attracted to them is one of the secret seduction techniques from Swinggcat's book.
After about 15 minutes she attempted to engage me by "recalling" things from the times we had previously met. I reframed her recollection as an attempt to pick me up, and that I don't associate myself with girls who aren't honest the first time. This got her REALLY interested, because I was increasing my prizability while basically calling her a liar for acting like she didn't remember me before.
A guy who basically calls a woman a liar and accuses her of trying to pick him up shows himself to be a real prize (and hotties always fall for that kind of thing).
I waited until she starting leaning into me and then I angled myself toward her a little more. I then did a perfect cold-reading.
"I know you come across as a cold-hearted bitch to most guys. But that's only because you haven't met your match yet. You haven't met a guy that could keep you in your place and make you realize that the world doesn't revolve around you. Well let me tell you something, that has all come to end right here and right now. You are about to experience something for the first time, and you're going to absolutely love it.". OMG dude. The look in her eyes was like nothing I've ever seen before.
I can imagine.
But no, she didn't walk out right then, or call the guys in the white coats, because what cold-hearted, self-centered bitches secretly crave most is a guy who will put them in their place.
So I told her we were going for a walk. She followed me. I walked in front of her.
Yes, ordering women around, and making them follow behind you is always a winning technique.
Anyway, Swinggcat ... I mean, "J from LA" explains how he kissed the lying bitched, then pushed her away, which made her grab him and force her tongue down his throat. So he told her that he wasn't a sex toy, and wasn't going to sleep with her. Then he proceded to dance with every other woman in the joint, and to strut his stuff on a raised platform, "where all the chicks could check me out." This drove even his friend's girl wild, and the friend's chick sought him out to tell him that he was "so hot," and that every women in the place wanted him. ("Nice. But that is my belief anyway, so she was just affirming what I already knew.")
And then the payoff:
Finally I left the platform and walked away. My girl followed. I went to the bar. She followed. I went back to the dance floor. She followed. I went out on the patio and yes, she followed. So I figured by now I could have anything I wanted with her so I told her we were going back to her place. She made a weak attempt at saying that I had told her she wasn't having sex with me. I started turning away from her and said "Ok, you're totally right. Never mind.", but she spun me around, kissed me and dragged me out of the place, back to her Lexus and straight to her apartment where she proceeded to dance stripper style for me, give me some of the best oral sex ever and basically offer herself to me in any way that I chose.
And this is a totally true story, and it can absolutely happen to you, if only you will buy Swinggcat's book.
4.
4.
Now, some advice for the ladies from John Malloy, the "Dress for Success" guy. His latest book is called Why Men Marry Some Women and Not Others: The Fascinating Research to Land You the Husband of Your Dreams. And the answer to why men marry other women and not you seems to be that you are an aging, fat, insecure slut who dates losers, and the other women aren't. Oh, and you don't even want to get married anyway.
Here's part of a CBS Early Show report on the book:
Molloy states six findings on the path to marrying men:
- Women who marry insist on marriage; they settle for nothing less
- Women who married were far less likely to have wasted time in dead-end relationships
- Women who married loved themselves more than they loved any man
- Women who are committed to the idea of marriage are much more likely to marry than those who are not
- Women who are slender have an easier time meeting men and better odds of getting married
- Time is the single woman's enemy
His research also found that college-educated men only want to marry you when they are between the ages of 28 and 33 (37 tops).
So, ladies, if you want to get married, then really, really want to get married. Then, make yourself thin and young, and marry a 30-year-old.
I hope you found this helpful.
3:58:07 PM
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