The World O' Crap Archive

Welcome to the Collected World O' Crap, a comprehensive library of posts from the original Salon Blog, and our successor site, world-o-crap.com (2006 to 2010).

Current posts can be found here.

Monday, December 27, 2010

October 15, 2003



The Ann Defense
: Rush May Be a Drug Addict and a Hypocrite, But He's Rich and YOU'RE NOT!

Our look at right-wing pundits and their attempts to show that it doesn't matter that the "Voice of Conservatism" was a pill-head, would not be complete without Ann Coulter's take on the subject: Rush Has a $30 Million Radio Contract and Evan Thomas Doesn't! .

Ann came up with some rationalizations not found on our "Being There for Rush" list (that's why she gets paid $20,000 for one speech to our nation's youth).  Hers boil down to: So what if Rush is a druggie who preached intolerance towards other druggies -- at least he's not Bill Clinton!  And it's to his credit that he DID harshly condemn other people so that he could be shown up as a hypocrite -- unlike you godless liberals, who rarely bitterly mock the failings of others.  Except for picking on Rush, of course, and you're all big meanies for doing that, but Rush is RICH and so doesn't care WHAT you think! 

But Ann also used one of the popular excuses from our list: the old "Rush took drugs for PAIN, unlike the other junkies, who take drugs for FUN!"  And we admit that it must be painful being Rush, knowing that your life is a lie and you're helping to make the world a little more ugly every day -- but we still maintain that the other addicts probably were suffering from pain that was almost as bad, even though it wasn't RICH PERSON'S PAIN, and therefore not as morally correct.

And then Ann segues into:
While slamming Rush, Harvard Law professor Alan Dershowitz recently told Wolf Blitzer, "Generally, people who illegally buy prescription drugs are not prosecuted, whereas people who illegally buy cocaine and heroin are prosecuted." What would the point be? Just say no to back surgery?
I think the point would be: Once your doctor cuts off your legal supply of the drugs, Just Say No to bullying your housekeeper into buying mass quantities of street-drugs which are illegal to possess without a valid prescription, and to thereby making yourself part of the drug trafficking trade. 

And then she says that Ted Kennedy is a drunken adulterer, chastises Newsweek for saying that Rush has few friends (ANN was his friend!  Doesn't that make his life seem so much less pitiful!), and concludes with:
This week, Rush proved his motto: He really can beat liberals with half his brain tied behind his back.
Well, since this week Rush as been in rehab, undoubtedly suffering the pains of hell while detoxing from his severe drug problem, I find it kind of insensitive of Ann to talk about his brain this way.  But with friends like Ann, one can better understand Rush's need for painkillers.

6:16:18 PM    




You've probably seen this story in other forums, but only the manly men at Newsmax could give it this title:
Well, Ben probably knew it all the time.

9:17:08 AM    



Homosexuals: Quit Making Ben Think About You!

Oooh, Ben Shapiro, Boy Pundit, is all lathered up about the gays again (Put 'Coming Out Week' Back in the Closet).  Yes, it seems they're provoking him by stutting around campus, demanding that he look at them, challenging his belief system by existing.   
We're constantly hearing that if people are anti-homosexuality, deep down they're homosexual. Well, if you're repeatedly proclaiming how proud you are to be gay, isn't it just possible you might be a little insecure about your own homosexuality? The most secure gay people I know aren't militant about it. They do what they want to do and don't bother the rest of us with it.

Which is how "Coming Out Week" should really work. If you want to make a big deal out of your "sexual identity," go ahead. Do it within your own community.
Yeah, stay out of Ben's community!  We gave you a state (a nice one in the south east, as I recall), now go live in it and stop tempting Ben!
I'm a very tolerant guy when the gay agenda isn't being forced down my throat. But when I'm sitting in class and I open the UCLA Daily Bruin to read about public gay marriages in Bruin Plaza, I get angry
Damned gays, with their marriages and their newspaper coverage!  And those heterosexual activists are just as bad, if not worse!  I'm a very tolerant woman, but when I'm lying on my couch, reading the Sunday paper, and I see 3 pages of wedding announcements, I get angry!  What gives them the right to force their agenda down our throats this way!  (And yes, we all know what agenda that is: to extort gifts and money from us!  And I think it's about time we as a society told them that we've had enough!  But that's a blog for another day.)
So don't push us too far. When you tell us that we are secretly homosexual if we oppose your agenda, we get angry. When you tell us we are bigots for upholding God's definition of marriage, we get angry. When you tell us that "gay relationships are just as good and the same" as straight relationships, as UCLA Queer Alliance Co-Chair Kian Boloori did last week, we get angry.
And you wouldn't like Ben when he's angry.  His face gets all flushed and his voice gets shrill and squeaky.
And doesn't he seem kind of preoccupied with homosexuality?  I mean, just look at some of the titles of some of his recent pieces:
September 3, 2003 - From virgin to tramp (Summary: "Eww!  Icky!  Madonna kissed Britney!")
August 20, 2003 -  Militant gay English on the rise 
July 23, 2003 -  Barney's Frank is cooked (The Gay Porn filmakers are ruing the day they lost a talent like Ben's to punditry)

April 23, 2003 - Gay rights and the end of American morality 
 
I'm all for diversity and stuff, but I have to say that I don't give homosexuals and their agenda and their sinful, seductive activities a fraction of the attention Ben does.  So, I'm gonna have to say what we're all thinking: sure, it's a truism that those who spend all their time denouncing homosexuality are gay, deep, down inside -- but it's pretty obvious that Ben is using his column to fight his unwelcome sexual attraction to Karl Rove. 
Hey look, Ben's getting mad.  And now he's gonna call us sinners and throw his copy of Tigerbeat at us! That'll teach us!
Do what you want. Just don't tell us about it or expect us to care. 
Ben, if you'll agree to do likewise, it's a deal!  Because while we accept you as a human being, we do not approve of you. No matter how many gay parades you denounce. 

6:05:29 AM    

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