November 11, 2005 by s.z.

The Blogger That Blogger Couldn't Silence After having somehow broken Blogger ("Mother always said, 'Don't play ball in the house'"), Doghouse Riley has relocated (possibly only temporarily), and is even better than ever!  Today he names the REAL Plamegate leaker (one Irve Leibowitz); dares to dream big ("no votes on Court nominees until we get to the bottom of everything the Dick’s been up to since 2001"); provides us with the War on Christmas Official Security Advisory System; and more! Drop by and tour his new digs -- he's serving donuts and cider! 5:31:43 AM

Trolls Will be Snarked to Fullest Extent of the Law  Our friend Instgatrix responds to a guy who writes to Heartless Bitches International to accuse it of not being fair and balanced (you know, because it doesn't include enough material written by men).  The emailer (Mr. Woods) leaves no female-bashing cliche unsaid; Instgatrix leaves no stupidity unpunished.  Here are a couple of my favorite bits (the italicized lines are from Mr. Woods, the bolded portions from Instgatrix): your Website has become unbalanced I’m still trying to decide which way to run with this one. "Unbalanced" in reference/comparison to WHAT? Could this be . . . projection on his part?  and no better for example, than http://www.moveon., the left wing oriented ACLU, CNN (many times referred to as the "Clinton News Network"), Ahh, HERE we go. Anyone wondering if perhaps we might be dealing with some foaming wackmobile under insufficient cover need wonder no more. I mean, PLEASE. "MANY TIMES referred to"? On what planet? It's not enough that virtually every news organization in the U.S. apparently VOLUNTEERED to have all spines on the premises surgically removed, the better to pander to the crayon-scrawl party lines of the pResident and his cabal?  [...] they all share a single minded purpose of bashing President Bush. Leaving aside the fact that even hyphens are too embarrassed to appear in his sentences, I have to point out that this assertion is one of the brainless classics of the We're Always Right. The fact--FACT, that dirty F word--that DUHbya and his administration have spent the past five years perpetrating all manner of fraud on the citizens of this country and the world at large does NOT mean that those who dare to point out such inconvenient facts are merely "bashing" the pResident. Heh!  Read the whole thing. 4:47:14 AM

If You Reject 'Intelligent Design,' Don't Come Crying to God When Your Town Gets Eaten by Locusts Yeah, Pat Robertson is back.  Here's part of the A.P. story: Pat Robertson warns Pa. town of disaster Religious broadcaster Pat Robertson warned residents of a rural Pennsylvania town Thursday that disaster may strike there because they "voted God out of your city" by ousting school board members who favored teaching intelligent design. [...] "I'd like to say to the good citizens of Dover: If there is a disaster in your area, don't turn to God. You just rejected him from your city," Robertson said on the Christian Broadcasting Network's "700 Club." Pat indicated that there's a very good possibility that there WILL be a disaster in their area -- possibly a hurricane, since storms seem drawn to evil towns who practice feminism, homosexuality, sciencism, etc.  "And if God doesn't wipe out Dover in a tornado or a tsunami or something, the town could be irradiated when that nuclear bomb destroys the State Department, or suffer some kind of damage during the assassination of Hugo Chavez," the old kook claimed.  Later Thursday, Robertson issued a statement saying he was simply trying to point out that "our spiritual actions have consequences." "God is tolerant and loving, but we can't keep sticking our finger in his eye forever," Robertson said. "If they have future problems in Dover, I recommend they call on Charles Darwin. Maybe he can help them." When contacted by the media, Charles Darwin said he would be happy to help Dover, if there was anything he could ever do for them. He then quipped, "But, as the saying goes, Darwin helps those who help themselves," and he felt the residents were off to a good start by educating their children and teaching them about the scientific method. God, who was reached at His headquarters, indicated the Robertson does not speak for Him. He said that He does not run some sort of Mafia protection racket which requires towns to sign up for Intelligent Design in order to keep Him from sending His goons to rub them out. The CEO of Universe, Inc. warned Robertson that "disaster might strike him" any day now, because Robertson is a big idiot, and is making God look bad. 4:21:27 AM

Just Because Annie is Paranoid, It Doesn't Mean That Arabs Aren't Trying to Kill Us With McDonalds Sacks Annie Jacobsen and her book Fear of Flying With Musicians were the subjects of a recent NRO story that was picked up by the  CBS News webpage.  The piece (which accepts everything Annie says as fact) is by Anne Morse; Morse is a senior writer for Chuck Colson's Prison Fellowship, and therefore has a great deal of experience with faith-based national defense issues.  Ms. Morse retells (for like the thousandth time) the story of Annie's terrifying experience of being on a plane with 14 Arab men who hogged all of the restrooms.  She mentions the McDonald's Bag of Doom, the ominous "throat cutting" gesture, the unfounded claim that the Dept of Transportation "forbids searches of more than two male Arabs per flight." etc.  But she does give us one interesting new factoid: the government is trying to make everyone think that Annie is crazy! Much of the information} FAMS  {the Federal Air Marshals Service] gave out about Flight 327 was contradictory, and as Jacobsen continued to write and speak out, frustrated FAMS and FBI spokesmen tried to discredit her, painting the Princeton-educated journalist as a hysterical mother who had become upset at the sight of Middle Easterners on her plane. Wow, it was the FBI and FAMS who were doing that?  The bastards!  But, per Annie and Ann, there is hope for the future, because the Intel Bill requires airlines to report any future incidents involving Arabs and McDonalds sacks to the Transportation Security Administration, thus "preventing airlines from making information from these incidents disappear — and pretending people like Annie Jacobsen are crazy." So, keep in mind that it's now against the law to pretend that people like Annie are crazy, and adjust your thoughts accordingly. 3:35:30 AM

War on Christmas Update: Wal-Mart Really DID Call Christmas a Mushroom-Derived Holiday Okay, it was a guy named Kirby, and he was a temp, but that email about Christmas being stolen from the Goths, the Baal-worshippers, and the "aminita mascera" mushrooms actually did come from a Wal-Mart customer service rep.  The A.P. has the details, plus Donohue explaining that if Wal-Mart is allowed to persecute Christians by directing them to a "holiday" webpage, then, due to store peer pressure, all the other mercantile establishments will do the same, and it won't end until Sears initiates a "No Presbyterians" policy: In an interview, Donohue dismissed Wal-Mart's statement that it was respecting multiple beliefs as "corporate arrogance." "If Wal-Mart, which is the family-friendly institution, gets away with this, then all the other department stores will just fall into line," he told The Associated Press on Thursday. The dispute erupted after a Wal-Mart worker responded to a woman who complained that the company was replacing "Merry Christmas" with "Happy Holidays." The response described Christmas as a combination of world traditions from Siberian shamanism to Visigoth calendars.  The e-mail, which Wal-Mart spokesman Dan Fogleman said was genuine, said Wal-Mart had to act as a global organization in a world with many different practices. Dan Fogleman (whom we are saddened to see working at Wal-Mart, since we always liked his music) added that the e-mail came from a customer service worker identified only as Kirby, and that as of Thursday, Kirby no longer worked for the company. "We at Wal-Mart believe this e-mail between a temporary associate and one of our valued customers was entirely inappropriate. Its contents in no way represent the policies, practices or views of our company." Which is a shame, because I would love it if Wal-Mart's policy was to tell taunt  Bill Donohue's group by telling them their beliefs were based on hallucinogenic mushrooms  "This associate, who was hired less than three weeks ago, is no longer employed by our company," Fogleman said in an e-mail to the AP. And let this be a lesson to Wal-Mart about hiring Goths, Visigoths, and Vandals as temps, and putting them to work in the Customer Service department.  Sure, you can pay them pennies an hour and you don't have to give them benefits, but they're going to make your company look bad -- especially since they won't be able to spell its name. But let's let Mr. Donohue have the last word: Last night, Wal-Mart spokeswoman Jolanda Stewart told WND her company was "absolutely not" banning Christmas as the Catholic League has been claiming. [...] "Stewart's remark is flatulent," Donohue says.  2:51:45 AM