December 25, 2004 by s.z.

Merry Christmas!

Well, I finally got all the presents wrapped, despite the assistance of Jet Jaguar (he discovered that his former prey, the roll of paper towels, has a big brother, the roll of wrapping paper, and Roll of Wrapping Paper is even more fun to attack, shred, and destroy).  So, I guess all that's left to do is to wish you all a very moral, conservative, and judgmental Christmas. 

Seriously, I hope you all have a pleasant day, and that something happens during the course of it to lift your spirits at least once.

Anyway, here are the lyrics to "The Rebel Jesus, one of my favorite songs on The Chieftains Christmas album.  It's by Jackson Browne:

All the streets are filled with laughter and light
And the music of the season.
And the merchants' windows are all bright
With the faces of the children.
And the families hurrying to their homes
As the sky darkens and freezes
Will be gathering around the hearths and tables
Giving thanks for God's graces
And the birth of the rebel Jesus.

Well they call him by 'the Prince of Peace'
And they call him by 'the Savior'
And they pray to him upon the seas
And in every bold endeavor
And they fill his churches with their pride and gold
As their faith in him increases.
But they've turned the nature that I worship in
From a temple to a robber's den,
In the words of the rebel Jesus

We guard our world with locks and guns
And we guard our fine possessions
And once a year when Christmas comes
We give to our relations,
And perhaps we give a little to the poor
If the generosity should seize us.
But if any one of us should interfere
In the business of why they're poor
They get the same as the rebel Jesus.

But pardon me if I have seemed
To take the tone of judgement
For I've no wish to come between
This day and your enjoyment.
In a life of hardship and of earthly toil
We have need for anything that frees us,
So I bid you pleasure
And I bid you cheer
From a heathen and a pagan
On the side of the rebel Jesus.

Now, here's a Coke ad from 1949, the golden age of advertising art.  Let me know if you know who the guy with the bottle cap on his forehead is supposed to be.  (A really creepy elf?  Old Jack Frost?  Rudolf, the snub-nosed reindeer jockey?)

And, in conclusion, here are the lyrics to another one of my favorite Christmas songs:

LET'S HAVE A PATRICK SWAYZE CHRISTMAS
(Michael J. Nelson)


Open up your heart and let the Patrick Swayze Christmas in.
We'll gather at the Roadhouse with our next of kin.

 And Santa can be our regular Saturday night thing.
We'll decorate our barstools and gather round and sing.

Oh, let's have a Patrick Swayze Christmas this year!
Or we'll tear your throat out and kick you in the ear!

It's my way or the highway, this Christmas at my ba-ha-haar.
I'll have to smash your kneecaps if you bastards touch my car!

I got the word that Santa has been stealing from the till.
I think that that right jolly old elf better make out his will, ohh,

Oh, let's have a Patrick Swayze Christmas, one and all.
And this can be the haziest...
This can be the laziest...
This can be the Swayziest
Christmas of them aaallllllllll!

La la la laa ha HAAA!

1:02:21 AM