The World O' Crap Archive

Welcome to the Collected World O' Crap, a comprehensive library of posts from the original Salon Blog, and our successor site, (2006 to 2010).

Current posts can be found here.

Saturday, January 15, 2011

March 4, 2005 by s.z.

Sorry, Canadians - You're Not Mentioned 

I'm really tired, (and if you read my posts at American Street and Pandagon, no doubt you're tired of me too).  So, here's something suggested by Vivek (thanks, Vivek!) that I've been saving for just such an occasion: I bid you stand, Men of the West.

It's a page composed by an Australian guy who explains how "The Lord of the Rings" is an analogy for basically everything. 

He starts by mentioning that he was home watching "The Return of the King" on his "kick-ass stereo system" when he was struck by Aragorn's speech outside the Black Gates (especially the part about standing, Men of the West):
That last phrase got me thinking. Men of the West. Holding off a vast horde of pure evil. And the more I got thinking, the more I realised just how accurate to today's events that was (and the movies in general). Allow me to explain.

We can do the easy one first.

The forces of Mordor represent islam. Sauron is Allah. The Witch King of Angmar is Mohammed. The trolls are the Imans and the Orcs your savage, brainwashed masses with no respect for life. You also need to remember that Orcs used to be Elves. And this was once true of muslims.
Yes, I think I recall hearing something in a history class once about how the Muslims were formerly Elves.
Back in the Dark Ages, while Europe was little more than tribes of barbarians jockeying for position, it was the muslim lands that were the centerpiece of art, culture, and learning. Jews were welcomed for their teachings and both Jews and Christains were free to make pilgrimages to their holy sites.

For just as those Elves became corrupted and turned into Orcs, so it is with muslims.

There can be no appeasement of them. Their only goal is conquest, enslavement, and destruction of the free peoples of Middle Earth
I think this insight helps us to better understand President Bush's plan to spread democracy in the Middle East -- since there can be no appeasement of the Orc/Muslims, and we can't really turn them back into Elves by saying the magic word "freedom," we must use zombies against them, like in the movie.

Anyway, check out the webpage and discover who the Americans, English, Australians, Chinese, Indians, and traitorous Left are

But this is my favorite part:
For completion sake I will say the Ents are those in charge of the US military and all decent and loyal politicians for when they become angry enough, there will be nothing that can stand against their righteous rage.
Yup, Rumsfeld does kind of remind me of an Ent:lumbering, big, not that bright.
What do you reckon? Am I a great visionary or have I just stated the obvious?
Hey, he asked!  So, read the whole page and leave a comment here, which he could see some day.

10:03:25 AM    

As Seen At

My American Street post is up; it's about Ann Coulter.

And I have two posts over at Pandagon; one is a Townhall Review, and the other one is also a Townhall Review.  Yup, lots and lots of Townhall Review over at Pandagon.

You can go read them if you want -- I'll just nap until you get back.

Oh, you're back now, huh?  Well, then why don't you check out this blog I heard about somewhere called Bats Left Throws Right.  It's by some guy named James Briggs Stratton "Doghouse" Riley -- he looks kinda familiar, so I think I must have gone to junior high with him, or something.

9:17:39 AM

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