January 6, 2005 by s.z.

Who Said It? Chad was the first to identify our last Mystery Guest, the banal James Lileks.  You'll be happy to know that Lileks has apparently started some kind of new fad among the people with no lives, as they are nowreportedly devoting themselves to producing photoshopped images that include Hugh Hewitt's book.  Hugh is delighted at all the free publicity. [A] free media frenzy creating impressions of Blog for their audiences --and not only free, but funny, creating a nice atmosphere for the book should an impression-receiver wander by it in the bookstore. Add all the impressions created by all the bloggers who photoshopped the book, and that's the marketing impact of the blogopshere.  You know, if I had Photoshop, I'd use it and the blogosphere to create some impressions for those impression-receivers.   Oh boy, would I try to create some impressions!  What would I do, you ask?  Um, I'm not really sure.  I doubt that I could do anything to make the book seem creepier than what Lileks did with that photo of the dead hooker Barbie in the bathtub who was holding Hugh's book (thus implying that it's the preferred choice of serial killers with weird doll fetishes.) Well, maybe I'd replace the book in this photo with Hugh's even more nightmareish tome: To Serve Mankind Through Blogging But that would  make Hugh's book seem cool, which it's not, so never mind.  (Oh, and it would make it look like James "Forehead" Lileks was reading Hugh's book, and I don't think that's the case either.) UPDATE: Thedarkbackward has found photographic evidence that indicates that Mr. Lileks and his fellow Kanamits may not be as altruistic as they seem: be sure to check out IT'S A COOKBOOK! BTW, today's Lileks photo features the My Size Barbie and Gnat in an eerie "ghost twins" scene from The Shining.  Apparently Hugh's book is what causes Jack Nicholson (played this time by Lileks) to kill his family.  (Yes, Mrs. Lileks should be VERY concerned about now, if she wasn't already.) P.S.  You can get an autographed copy of the above photo from Richard Kiel for $15, which seems like an excellent buy, especially when you note that Hugh's book retails for $19.99.  Anyway, who said this? I was physically attacked this year.  [...] I think one is still in prison. It is a funny thing, that they ended up in prison—enjoying the benefits of gay marriage. One guy with a broken shoulder and one with a broken nose. And that was when I was traveling totally unprotected. Let ’em try it again, they’ll end up dead.  4:26:06 AM

Asia Sins; God Sends Tsunamis I watched a bit of tonight's Scarborough Country.  Apparently, yesterday's cage match between Jennifer Giroux and Rabbi Shmuley Boteach was a hit, because they were back once again to argue about the topic "Does God Hate the Tsunami Victims?" But starting today's segment was Jerry Falwell Pat Robertson.  When Scar asked him if God had sent the tsunami, Pat said heck no, it was just plate tectonics, as it would be CRAZY to think that God would send a natural disaster such as an earthquake to punish people -- although He can send hurricanes to wipe out Orlando if there are "gay days" at Disneyland.. UPDATE: Here's a quote from a 1998 ep of "The 700 Club": "This is not a message of hate; this is a message of redemption. But if [pause] a condition like this [gay pride flags] will bring about the destruction of your nation. It'll bring about terrorist bombs; it'll bring earthquakes, tornadoes and possibly a meteor, it isn't necessarily something we ought to open our arms to." "And I would warn Orlando that you're right in the way of some serious hurricanes," Robertson continued, "and I don't think I'd be waving those flags in God's face if I were you." Pat also said also that human stupidity is also to blame for the suffering, in that people choose to live in risky areas, like along the San Andrea fault.  So, presumably those thousands of poor Asian fisherfolk pretty much got what they deserved for not choosing to live somewhere more geologically stable, like Ohio.   UPDATE: the transcript is now available, so here's exactly what Pat said: And it’s not God’s do.  It was one of those things, like a hurricane.  It’s a natural release of heat in the atmosphere.  And if people choose to live along the coastlines in dangerous areas, they are in trouble, just like people who live on the San Andreas fault in California. The big one, one day is going to come.  And they’re going to be—but you can’t blame God for your foolishness.  If you want to live there, that’s too bad.   But back to "Scarborough Country Bear Jamboree," and the segment on God and Natural Disasters.  An atheist (a blonde, shrill one this time) said that the tsumamis prove there is no God.  Jenny and the Rabbi (they fight crime!) basically repeated the same stuff they said yesterday.  Jennifer claimed that God sends plagues, earthquakes, and such when He's ticked off (although He is a loving God).  The Rabbi called Jennifer a blasphemous, ignorant slut..  However, today Jennifer did give her theory of why God smote East Asia -- some of the nations hit by the waves are on a list of countries that persecute Christians.  So, I think we get her point --  if your country picks on God's favorites, the Christians, God is going to kill a bunch of poor people.  (And since these poor people are, by and large, members of religions He doesn't much care for, they were basically asking to die anyway.) An interesting theory.  However, per Open Doors International, the top five Christian persecutors are North Korea, Saudi Arabia, Laos, Vietnam, and Iran.  But I guess God didn't hit them because it was just more convenient to smack India and Indonesia, which ranked 33rd and 34th on the list.  Even more interesting, the "persecution" of Christians in the lower ranking countries is really just religious discrimination (like that landlords can choose not to rent to you if you're Christian -- which, strangely enough, is something that many American Christians seem to find perfectly acceptable when it's homosexuals who are being discriminated against).  So, this "persecution" is nothing like the horrific acts documented by David Limbaugh in his book Persecution, so I guess God really was after those Americans vacationing in Thailand (because they were probably liberals, members of the ACLU, and persecutors of American Christians), and everybody else was just collateral damage. BTW, Scar isn't done with this topic.  He announced that tormorrow the whole show (I think) will be devoted to the topic "It's Sodom and Gomorrah All Over Again: If Only They Hadn't Tried to Rape Visiting Angels, They Wouldn't Have Gotten Tsunamied" (or something like that -- I know "Sodom and Gomorrah" were part of the title).  I bet Jenny and the Rabbi will be back for that one too. Oh, and speaking of Jennifer Giroux, as commenter M.S. noted, Jenny first met the man who later became her husband in 1992 -- and she now has nine kids.  Adding to this remarkable feat, it appears that the last child was born towards the end of 2000.  M.S. challenged us to "do the math."  I did, and by my calculations, Jennifer had, on the average, a child every 9.3 months or so.  Of course, Jenny could have had some sets of twins and triplets, or adopted some heathen orphans, so this doesn't necessarily mean that she was continuously pregnant for the first seven years of her marriage.  But it well could.  I found an interesting item about the Catholic book store owned by Jennifer and her husband.  Here's part of Dan and Jennifer Giroux recently opened The Catholic Shop a few blocks from St. Gertrude Church in Madeira (staffed by the Dominican Fathers). "We’re still a work in progress," says Mr. Giroux, who has recently retired from serving as managing editor of Dr. Thomas Droleskey’s monthly publication Christ or Chaos.  [...] Brochures outlining the physical and spiritual risks of contraception are prominently displayed on their check-out counter.   Of course, the physical risks of not using contraception include having 9 children in 7 years. But to get back to our subject,  I wonder if Joe Scarborough will invite somebody from the Westboro Baptist Church to be on his panel for tomorrow's show.  As you may have heard, the group announced that it's going to picket Helena's "pro-gay" churches (Calvary Baptist, St. Helena's Cathedral, St. Peter's Episcopal, St. Paul's United Methodist, Our Redeemer's Lutheran, and First Presbyterian), as well as the "(homosexual)-infested" University of Montana. And like Scarborough, they too are addressing  the topic of Sodom & Gomorrah and Tsunamis.  Per the news report:: The fax distributed by the Westboro Church goes on to thank God for the Indian Ocean tsunamis "that swept 20,000 Swedes and other (homosexual) perverts into Hell." Phelps-Roper said the disaster was God's intention to punish a "filthy, disobedient generation." "Who do you think sent that earthquake and tsunami that killed all those people," she said. "If your message doesn't line up with the scriptures, then it's not God's message." So, do you think that Jennifer, Pat Robertson, Pat Buchanan, and William Donohue will be brave enough to affirm their basic agreement with that position? 3:18:17 AM