True Love Waits and Waits and Waits ...We recently received the following email taking exception to our report concerning Coach Joe White's Pure Excitement. Although critical of our efforts, we believe this communication is worthy of sharing with the world because it presents a viewpoint often ignored by the media: that of a sincere, devout, abstinent 28-year-old male named "Clete." We think you will find it edifying. ***** Dear World O' Crap: I visit your site more often than I should -- not because I am a Liberal or a life-hating degenerate, but out of the same helpless, sad compulsion that prevents me from looking away on a warm summer's night as insect after mindless insect seeks out, and then receives, the crackling blue-neon embrace of my patio Bug Zapper. It pains me, as a Christian, to sense the unabashed delight with which you deliver your "glib" rejoinders, "witty"reductios and "world-weary" libels against writers whose only "sin" is their fierce desire to elevate and ennoble our experience on this earth, rather than celebrate its pernicious enfeeblement and decline, as you (and, I assume, your readers) take such apparent glee in doing. And while I know it is very un-Christian of me, I find I cannot suppress a mental image of you and Dorothy Parker and -- Heck, let's make it a threesome! -- Susan Sontag shackled to one another in a scalding hell-pit, shrieking pithy bon mots at one another and blithely debating the relative merits of "spitting" versus "swallowing" as your lips retract like shriveled apple-skins and your dental fillings bubble to vapor and splash against your swollen, blistered tongues. I take no joy in that image, but it is one that I hope you will ponder and reflect upon. Like you, the oh-so-clever Ms. Parker paid no heed to the price that God would ultimately extract for her immoral self-indulgences and blasphemous "whimsies." (Neither, alas, did Harpo -- but that's another, darker story.) By way of introduction: I am a 28-year-old abstinent virgin male. (Laugh if you must, as I know you will. "For the laughter of the wicked is as a knife that cleaves its own blade, and the capering of cloven hooves shall not overspread the footpath of the Righteous.") Since my "sexual awakening" at the age of 13, I have battled both the feral impulses of my own body and the corrosive social forces that encourage conformity to a "just-do-it" philosophy of thoughtless gratification while relentlessly promoting "sex" with "others" as an "act" to be "enjoyed." Although I have succeeded in preserving the "unstained gift" which I will one day offer up, proudly, like a flawless gem, to the woman I marry, it has been a lonely and difficult path -- and one that I could have walked with much greater confidence and certainty had I been able to turn to Mr. White's exemplary book "Pure Excitement" as a companion and guide. ("For behold: That which is light in the one hand is heavy in the other. And the load of the teacher in time makes glad the student's mouth.") I admit that I was initially put off when I came across Mr. White's book -- but only because my eyes (which have been weakened by daily and strenuous exertions to enforce my own personal "virtue-zone") misread the title, quite innocently, as "Pure Excrement." Once I began reading, however, I was hooked. Here was a book that not only spoke to me, but actually seemed to be written about me. And not just a sterile text-book or a compilation of well-intended, stale pieties, but an authentic, human voice bringing real-world people and challenges to immediacy and life. This is the kind of book that makes you bolt up in your chair and say "Yes! Yes! I KNOW what you're saying!" -- and does so in an engaging, "Hey-look-at-me-when-I'm-talking-to-you-fella" style which is, in its most intimate and gut-kicking passages, a heady distillation of Sam Spade, Lester Dent and Shlomo Raven at their peerless best. White writes, if you will forgive a culinary comparison, like a fine French chef cuts cheese. I recognize that spirituality, to your mind, is a pre-rational "relic" on the order of menstrual tents and the Macintosh "Lisa." And I can only assume from your casual mockery of White's God-affirming stance on self-denial that you are, might we put it delicately, the sort of woman who has gripped any number of nameless consorts between her tautening haunches and run them breathless and exhausted to ground with the single-minded determination of a Mongol rider astride a bucking, wind-spirited pony of the Steppes. One can only hope that your many tainted memories -- memories, one assumes, of steam rising in curling arabesques from a tangle of naked, heaving flesh in the muted light of a gentle, afternoon rain; observed (indistinctly, not as separate bodies but a single urgent, quickening motion) by strangers in a passing tram -- will comfort you on the fateful night you serve up to your chosen mate-for-life, not the pure, sweet draught of your oak-barreled-and-aged love, but a disappointing "Coke-without-a-fizz." However, that is neither here nor there. ("For that is neither here nor there.") I can attest from my own experience that what White presents is the honest truth, and a truth that desperately needs to be assimilated by every individual who -- unlike yourself and your readers -- values virginity over hedonistic, jet-propelled self-pollution. For example, in Chapter 2 (which you curiously neglected to assail, perhaps because it admits of no rebuttal), White relates the story of a teen-ager named Jason, whose feckless and misguided father gave him a condom on his 15th birthday, thus encouraging promiscuity and nearly destroying the young man's life. That tale resonated with me, because I, too, had a father who confused "permission" with "guidance." I still shudder when I recall his drunken "re-imagining" of the Ten Commandments following a bitter confrontation with my then-mother. "Kid," he slurred, "The Bible says 'Thou shalt not covet thy neighbor's wife, nor thy neighbor's ass.' But it doesn't say fuck-all about 'thy neighbor's wife's ass.'" Much later, on his deathbed -- when I hoped I might finally persuade him to accept Christ into his heart -- he pulled himself off the bed by my shoulders, shaking with pain, and whispered the words that are still seared into my soul: "Boy or girl, it don't matter, son. Roll 'em over on their bellies and they're all women." You, least of all, can imagine the impact such careless words might have on an impressionable young mind. In any event, I have no doubt you will make light of all this, as you do anything of value and permanence. (BTW: You might want to ask your dentist about those new polymer fillings, Gehenna-Girl!) But let me leave you with a challenge: Inspired by White's book, I have written two of my own which I hope might both complement and extend his wide-ranging insights. The first -- intended as a "user's manual for virginity" with a hip, contemporary youth audience in mind -- is titled "Palm Pilot," and draws heavily on stratagems and techniques for "virtue-building" which I have developed and perfected through years of painstaking trial-and-error. The second -- which might be more up your alley, Thunder-Thighs -- addresses the special needs of those who, by choice or circumstance, find themselves pursuing abstinence as a lifestyle well beyond their teens and 20s, and frequently into late middle age or beyond. Recognizing that these "Winter Warriors" already have self-denial down to a science, I offer them instead a thought-provoking stew of guided meditations, word-association games, "body discovery workouts" and adult-aligned "structured visualization" exercises designed to help them productively channel and redirect the "stored purity" that longs, impatiently but less-and-less hopefully, to be showered on some deserving "other." That book will be available online at the end of March under the title "Stainless Steel." I will comp you on both of these tomes, in the hope that you and your little gaggle of hellbound companions will "do your worst" to find a single assertion that can be refuted on the basis of logic and reason, rather than childish insults. Thus barred from recourse to the hoots and catcalls that pass for argument on this site, I fear even you may be forced to concede that devoting one's life to being an uptight, sexless mannequin may not be as "loony" a notion as you thought. "That which is stainless cannot be soiled, and that which resisteth dirt cleans with ease in a single wipe." Incorruptibly yours, Darryl "Clete" Poonsman Pittsburgh, PA 5:53:39 AM  |
It's Torture Day at the Corner!But sadly, it's not Derb, Jonah, Kathryn Jean, and the others who are getting tortured -- it's merely them spending the day saying that OF COURSE they're against torture, but since nothing they define as torture appeared in those Abu Ghraib photos, then all of the Democratic concern about detainee abuse raised in connection with the Gonzalez nomination must mean that the liberals just aren't manly enough to countenance mere brutality of the kind seen and enjoyed on "NPD Blue." Let's go through some of yesterday's Corner posts and respond to them (because that seems more civilized than slapping around some Corner folks, even though they probably deserve it):
Poor Derb. Apparently they still won't let him read the grownup newspapers. So let me make three points. 1. Per the Taguba Report, "the Abu Ghraib shenanigans" involved, among other things::
This sounds like something that a normal person would say was certainly torture is the dictionary sense of "1b : something that causes agony or pain; 2 : the infliction of intense pain (as from burning, crushing, or wounding) to punish, coerce, or afford sadistic pleasure." 2. While the "shenanigans" may have not occurred in the course of interrogations, the Taguba Report says, "Military Intelligence iinterrogators and Other US Government Agency's interrogators actively requested that MP guards set physical and mental conditions for favorable interrogation of witnesses." The report recommended action against a contractor who "allowed and/or instructed MPs, who were not trained in interrogation techniques, to facilitate interrogations by 'setting conditions' which were neither authorized and in accordance with applicable regulations/policy. He clearly knew his instructions equated to physical abuse." So, the abuse has something to do with interrogation. Therefore, it is perfectly relevant. 3. We aren't just talking about Abu Ghraib anymore, Derb. The "shenangians" also occurred in other facilities in Iraq, and also in Afghanistan and Guantanamo. I hope this helps, you annoying twit.
The circumstances we're talking about are: guards using dogs to frighten and intimidate detainees, and in one case, biting and severely injuring a detainee. So, Derb, the fact that you were nipped by your neighbor's toy poodle doesn't make somebody else's severe injury "not very important."
Derb, start with the following and then get back to us: GIs Charged In Detainee Death, Charges urged in deaths of detainees, and CIA contractor charged in prisoner's death
Derb, the portion of the Taguba Report available to the public doesn't give the names, dates, and circumstances surrounding the report of a detainee being sodomized with a chemical light and perhaps a broom stick. Howwever, it does include the names of witnesses. Maybe one of them can give you all the salacious details. And an LA Times article of 21 December (link provided by Jonah in a later post) notes that "In July, Army criminal investigators were reviewing the alleged rape of a juvenile male detainee at Abu Ghraib prison." Why don't you ask the Army for more info? You know, if you're really into anal rape reports.
Just because Derb hasn't read any of the hundreds of news reports about the torture allegations doesn't mean that his contention that there was no torture any less valid -- because unless you can remove his fingers from his ears and force him to stop singing "La, la, la, I can't hear you," it means that nothing bad has happened.
Andy, it's bad enough that Derb is willfully ignorant (and professionally negligent, since he insists on continually writing about something he knows nothing about). Don't make things worse by showing that you're so ignorant that you think that Derb actually is making valid points.
Derb, while I am shocked and appalled by the atrocities conducted by the terrorists, my writing extensively about their horrible crimes is unlikely to get them to clean up their act. However, my writing about the abuses committed by U.S. forces can possibly help inspire other Americans to demand that our leaders implement changes which might make the abuse of prisoners less likely. Get it now? But it what you are really puzzled about is why some Americans might care about the abuse which was allegedly conducted to make them safer, read "The Ones Who Walk Away From Omelas", and then get back to us.
And in his sleeping bag too, no doubt.
Jonah, HAVE we got any valid info about nuclear bombs (or anything of equal import) from any of the detainees who were tortured? When we do, then we can talk about whether torture is okay when it helps to save the lives of millions of innocent people. Until then, let's talk about whether torture is okay when it gives us false confessions about membership in terrorist groups, but no actionable information -- or no information at all.
And hey, if a morallly ambiguous TV character does it to fictional bad guys, it MUST be okay. And highly effective too!
And it is beyond me why we don't send Andy Sipowicz to Guantanamo to do all our interrogations.
Yeah, we've all wondered about that. I've also wonder how the Corner folks know enough to use crayons by themselves. I suspect that The Corner is actually an elaborate psychological experiment which involves placing a group of people in a giant Skinner box and giving them pellets when they push the "ignorance" bar.
Oh, I think we'll find that Derb, at least, was unaware of such reports. But let's keep reading . . .
Lee doesn't know Rush Limbaugh, does he? Oh, and Lee, a lot more bad stuff has happened (at Abu Ghraib and at other facilities) than was in those photos -- although I know that a lot of guys, such as Rush Limbaugh, seemed to spend so much time, um, studying those photos of the stacked naked men that they didn't have time to read the newspapers. And oddly enough, I haven't heard any conservative talking about how shocked and angered they are about those other abuses.
Lee, the Taguba Report stars by noting that a team of interrogators from Gitmo led by an MG Miller came to Abu Ghraib to "to review current Iraqi Theater ability to rapidly exploit internees for actionable intelligence." The Executive Summary of the Miller Report stated that "detention operations must act as an enabler for interrogation." It also said that "it is essential that the guard force be actively engaged in setting the conditions for successful exploitation of the internees." (And as we recently learned, "setting conditions" means "physical abuse.") Miller's report adds that, "the application of emerging strategic interrogation strategies and techniques contain new approaches and operational art" -- meaning (to me, at least) that there's the cool new technique of water boarding that the White House and Pentagon say is okay to use on detainees. Taguba apparently believed that the policies approved for use at Gitmo (and presumably approved by the Administration) were being used at at Abu Ghraib, even though few detainees there were thought to have information worth interrogating them for ("These are not believed to be international terrorists or members of Al Qaida, Anser Al Islam, Taliban, and other international terrorist organizations"). The Taguba Report recommended disciplinary actions be taken against several officers for failing to ensure that the soldiers under their command "knew, understood, and followed the protections afforded to detainees in the Geneva Convention Relative to the Treatment of Prisoners of War." I believe that those leaders had gotten word (or at least the impression) that their higher ups believed that the Geneva Convention was no longer relevant to the interrogation of suspect terrorists, and so there was no push at Abu Ghraib to make sure the the soldiers knew and followed this quaint document. The Taguba Report holds that the failure of the guards and interrogators to know, understand, and follow the Geneva conventions was a major factor in the abuse. So, Lee, I believe that the "Administration's detainee policies" was a contribuatory factor to the abuse. We could discuss this further, but Derb is back to tell us that he has read some newspaper reports of alleged abuse, and isn't shocked and angered and all.
It may not be torture, but It's a violation of the Geneva Conventions. But that wasn't the biggest thing mentioned in that story, Derb ...
Derb, you'll have to ask the FBI more about that cigarette, because the report came from them. This is what we do know from the LA Times story: "Documents, some of which were forwarded to the FBI Director, record testimony about FBI agents who 'observed numerous physical abuse incidents of Iraqi civilian detainees,' including 'strangulation, beatings, [and] placement of lit cigarettes into the detainees ear openings.'" So, whichever end of the lit cigarette was placed in the detainees ear, a normal person should be at least a tad moved about the reported strangulation.
So, Derb's line is, "Strangulation = okay; non-burning end of a lit cigarette in ear = okay; burning end of cigarette in ear = not okay." That's good to know, in case Derb is ever picked up for questioning and the authorities want to make him talk. And while Derb admits that he hasn't read *all* those reports, he did say that he read the ones submitted by Jonah's reader (apparently for the first time, Jonah -- so the Corner folks DIDN'T know all that already!), and they left him unmoved. So, let's briefly review some passages from them:
Wow, so Derb couldn't care less that most of the detainees in Abu Ghraib really hadn't "done something or other to end up in custody," like he said before. And he isn't concerned about detainees being raped, dropped in barbed wire, knocked unconscious, given prolonged anal exams, being burned, denied medical treatment, perhaps having their fingernails ripped out, and even being killed. And he isn't bothered a bit that a good deal of this mistreatment wasn't done to find out about those nuclear weapons, but just because the detainees did something to anger the guards. Well, I wouldn't want that to be MY position, but as long as Derb is happy with it -- at least he didn't say that the Abu Ghraib abuses were just like fraternity initiations . . .
Yes, if joining a fraternity, expect to be:
And, even if you say you were just walking down the street and never asked to join this frat in the first place, and that you just want to quit the pledge process and go home, they won't let you out the cell, and will continue holding you there for an indefinite period of time. So, I'd think twice about joining a frat, if I were you.
3:43:35 AM |
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