January 23, 2005 by s.z.

Who Said It?

Bill S. quickly and correctly identified as last mystery guest (the one who was pining for the 1950s, an era in which nobody had sex, and conformity was cool) as Ben Shapiro. 

What's new with Ben, you ask?  Well, here's what he wrote in his blog:

Law school is taking up a large bloc of time, and it's fascinating stuff. I'm in the midst of writing two books at once, beginning to speak professionally through Premiere Speakers, and writing the column, of course. I vow to post as much as I can in the near future.  

So, Bennie is writing two books.  Since he already whined about how professors  brainwash students (and not in a good way, like they did in the '50s), my guess is that one of the new books will be The Law According to Ben: A 20-Year-Old Tells the Supreme Court Where It Went Wrong.  While this is just a guess, I'll say that the other will be Don't Have Sex Naked: A Marriage Guide for Conservative Teens.  Both will be published by WorldNetDaily Books, and remaindered shortly after.

But on to other wingnuts.  Who said this?

1.  Take Joseph, for example.  Joe got sold into slavery to a distant country through the envy and malice of his ministerial alliance.  Then brother Joseph was falsely imprisoned after he radically obeyed God.  Nevertheless, through all this intergalactic bad junk, The Dreamer was getting closer to his dream.

Put that in your irony bong and smoke it! 

No hints necesary for this one!

But speaking of repressed homosexuals in the clergy, who wrote the following in a column entitled "End Times 'Great Falling Away': Homosexuality In The Apostate Church"?

2.  I have read that gays go in for a lot of aesthetic ambiance. So it just might be that that kind of religious regalia attracts gays. I have a hunch that some of that kind of fancy frill attracts certain gays into the priesthood, too. Just a hunch, but I think I might be onto something there.

Then, too, there are a lot of concerts and art shows and teas and ladies’ shindigs going on in the Episcopal world of movement; therefore, gays attract to that kind of bug light as well.

Hint: he's the pastor who claims to have won a two-week trip in a writing contest.

#3 -- Super Hard Bonus Question:

In a press release touting this "journalist's" new column (which reportedly "Digs Deep, Tackles Tough Topics"), who is described as "tough-as-nails" and a "smart, savvy reporter with a rock-hard commitment to informing the public"? 

The PR piece also says:

No stranger to controversy, [tough-as-nails reporter] will take the no-nonsense investigative reporting style that allowed [him or her] to uncover the hidden facts behind airline safety and federal investigations, and apply it to issues in the financial arena.

Keep in mind that the person is "tough as nails -- and that should help you to never guess who they're talking about.

4:40:23 AM