March 25, 2005 by s.z.

'Secrets to Attracting and Meeting Women' NewsMax asks: Do You Make These Mistakes With Women? New Dating IQ Test reveals the 10 most dangerous mistakes YOU probably make with women... and exactly what to do about it. Discover the "Real Secrets" Of Attraction. Click Here. Anyway, even though I'm a straight female, I took this test to find out what dangerous mistakes I am making with women.  Let me share the first few questions with you, along with my responses.  After each question I'll turn to floor over to David D., whose quiz this is.  (See, he wrote the e-book Double Your Dating, which he hopes we will all buy once we see how sucky we are at dating. And he recommends his book highly.) I highly recommend that you get yourself a copy of it. It is literally JAM-PACKED with dozens of concepts and step-by-step techniques for meeting women, dating women, and taking things to a "physical level" smoothly... and with a minimum of rejection and failure. While I don't see how an e-book can be literally packed with jam, let's take the quiz anyway. 1. Three attractive women are standing a few feet from you at a local bar. You want to start an interesting conversation with them that gets their attention. What's the best way to start it?  A.  Ask them what their astrological signs are. B.  Say "Hey, you are the three most beautiful women in here, can I buy you a drink?" C.  Tell them you need a woman's opinion, then ask them whether they think it's cool for older men to get together with younger women, like Michael Douglas with Catherine Zeta Jones. D.  Walk straight up to the most attractive one and say "Can I have this dance?" Well, they're all stupid answers, but C at least has the remote possibility of starting a conversation, which is supposedly my goal, so I pick C. And here's our buddy David D. with the correct answer: The best answer is C. Asking their opinion about a current relationship trend is original, and shows them that you're in touch with what's going on.  And most importantly, it opens up the floor for all kinds of great conversion. In fact, after approaching a group of women with this topic, I'd be surprised if any one of them let you walk away without giving you her opinion on it. Well, I don't think the "rich, old guys dating hot, young babes" trend is anything new.  And if you are Michael Douglas's age, and the women you approach are in their 20's, your question may cause them to believe that you are a perv who's trying to have a menage a quatre with women young enough to be his daughter -- in which case, you may well get an earful from these women, although I don't know how enjoyable you'll find it.  But it will be interesting. 2. You're out on a date with a woman that you feel really attracted to. You can't tell if she likes you or not. What's the best way to find out?  A. Ask her outright "Am I your type?". B. Kiss her. C. Put out one of your hands and see if she gives you hers. D. Say "You really have the hots for me" in a playful voice, and see how she responds. I don't like any of these answers, but C sounds the least stupid, so I choose it.  The Answer: While Answers B and C aren't bad, D is clearly the best. Joking with a woman this way says all the right things, and instantly lets her know that she's dealing with someone who "gets it". So, start singing mockingly, "You and me, sitting in a tree, K-I-S-S-I-N-G," which will say all the right things, and let her know that she's dealing with somebody who "gets it."  Yes, this will let her know that you know that she wants to do you right there in the restaurant.  Women are impressed by men who can see into their souls that way. And David has some advice about why answer A is the worst one of all: Asking a woman a question like this tells her that you have ZERO confidence in yourself. Think about it... would a confident, successful guy ever ask a woman if he was her type? Absolutely not... because he would already know the answer... It doesn't matter! The only thing that matters with a woman is whether or not you can create that gut-level feeling of attraction inside of her. And how do you create that gut-level feeling of attraction?  By being a jerk, mostly, as we will learn if we buy David's e-book on dating.  So, on to the next question. 3. You're talking to a cute girl that you just met in line at the bank. She's funny and playful with you. You want to get her phone number. Which is the best way to do it?  A. Say "Do you have a card?" B. Glance at her bank papers to find out what her name is. Later, look her number up in the phone book. C. Ask her what her favorite restaurant is, then offer to take her there. D. Say "Give me your phone number... here's a pen". Well, B might get you arrested for violating bank privacy laws, C is making too much of a chat in a bank line, and D is obnoxious, so I pick A, which seems like something a normal person might do. However, by the time I get my answer scored, A has changed to, "Ask her if she'd like to go out on a date with you sometime," which is awkward and puts her on the spot, so I agree that it's not right.  I guess we were set up to fail on this one.  But here's David with "the Answer." The Answer: Getting a woman's phone number is no big deal, and there's no reason to make it so. You don't have to offer to take her on a date... and you don't have to "bribe her" by offering to take her to her favorite restaurant. Here's the deal... An attractive woman can get a free dinner any time she wants. But finding a confident and powerful man is an entirely different story.   So be a man. Tell her to give you her number.  Many attractive women have jobs these days, and can buy their own damn dinners any time they want to eat.  These women probably won't take kindly to being ordered around by a macho jerk in a bank line who hands them a pen and demands that they cough up their phone numbers.  But the ones who do rely on confident, powerful men to feed them may comply; I guess it's worth a shot if those are the kinds of women whom you want to date. Oh, and if you ever get the urge to look up a girl's number in the phone book, do yourself a favor. While you have the book out, turn to the "Psychiatrists" section. There are people you can talk to about this. Really. Because powerful, confident, sane men do not use phone books.  Any psychiatrist will tell you this. 4. You're out with a woman for the first time, and you're having a cup of coffee with her. She looks at you square in the eye and says "So, what kind of car do you drive?". What's the best way to answer?  A. "I drive a 1976 Ford Pinto station wagon. Yellow. Why, what do you drive?"... all in an overly-serious, sarcastic tone. B. Tell her what you really drive. C. Say "Can't you think of something more interesting to ask me? What is this, an interview?" D. Laugh and say "I don't drive... my mom gives me rides everywhere". I'd just tell her what I drive -- it's not a state secret, so why not tell the truth? Maybe she's a mechanic, and can tell me some fascinating stories about Honda Civics. Or maybe she's nervous or just not very good at making small talk, and this is the only thing that came to mind. Or perhaps she's not very bright. Or she could be a shallow, materialistic person who judges people by the cars they drive (which is apparently what David suspects). But in any case, I don't think being a sarcastic ass is going to make the date go any better. But that's just me, because David has a different perspective on it. The Answer: When a woman asks you a "routine" question like this, it's the PERFECT opportunity for you to separate yourself from every other guy she's met. Many guys would take this opportunity to brag about what kind of car they have. Others might show a lack of confidence by acting apologetic about driving a car that's not "hip".  By throwing a sarcastic answer back at her (Answers 1 and 4), you show her that you have a good sense of humor, and you avoid coming off as an insecure guy who actually cares what she thinks.  Yeah, why the hell should you care what SHE thinks -- she's just a dame.  So, if she asks about your car, tell her to go to hell -- that will probably separate you from every other guy she's met before.   But... with Answer 3, you can REALLY take it to the next level by calling her on asking you a routine and boring question.  Doing this clearly demonstrates a few things:  1. You don't "seek approval" or try to impress women  It clearly demonstrates that you don't even like women -- an attitude which some babes find very attractive.  Sure, they aren't the healthiest people in the world, but they are relatively easy to get into bed. 2. You aren't impressed by material possessions, and you subtly look down on her for judging people by them  And if she wasn't trying to judge you, well, knowing that you subtly look down on her gets the relationship off to a good start anyway. 3. You date a lot of women, and don't have time for a woman who is anything less than exceptional! The women you date never stoop to asking routine questions!  They are not just super models, they are also investigative reporters and world-renowed philosophers, and their questions rock!  You spit on the kind of women who ask questions about cars! Most importantly, this subtly communicates that YOU are the selector, and YOU are the one who is sizing HER up and deciding if you're interested in pursuing the relationship. How DARE she think that she has the power to reject YOU! This type of communication shoots straight to the pulse of a woman's attraction mechanisms, and lets her know right away that there is just "something about you"... and she'll stop at nothing to find out more. Now that's what I'm talking about... Because once she realizes that you're a rude, self-important prick who has nothing but contempt for her, she'll want you in the worst way. 5. You're on the phone for the first time with a stunning model that you met through a friend at a small party. You've talked for a few minutes, and you want to ask her out on a date. What's the best way to do it?  A. Say "Hey, I'm busy today and tomorrow, but let's get together for a cup of Starbucks on Wednesday. We can meet for fifteen minutes, and if you're psycho, I can run away". B. Tell her that you really want to take her out, and offer to pick her up and take her to one of the nicer restaurants in your area. C. Ask her in a friendly, casual way if she's be interested in going on a date with you, then, if she says yes, invite her to have dinner with you. D. Tell her that you've been thinking of her a lot since you met her, and ask her if she's been thinking of you. If she says "yes", ask her if you can take her to dinner sometime soon. Well, I would have said inviting her out for coffee was the right choice, but telling her that you think she might be a psycho seems rather hostile (and paranoid), and any sane woman (even if she is a stunning model), is probably going to reply by saying that you seem awfully busy, so she's going to save that fifteen minutes and tell you right now that she IS a lunatic, and her basement is stacked with the bodies of jerks who tried to use stupid "how to manipulate women" techniques on her. The Answer: First of all, before you take a woman on a "date", I think you should ask yourself WHY you're thinking of taking a woman on a "date". When you ask a woman out on a "date", it says a lot of things all at once... It says that you've already made up your mind that you like her, are interested in pursuing her romantically, and are willing to invest your time and money to demonstrate that to her.  And that gives the woman the power to reject you.  No, instead of asking some stuck-up bitch out on a "date," just use that money to buy a hooker.  That way, YOU have the power.  Plus, the 'ho will find you the most fascinating man she's ever met.  Really-- just ask her!. I really believe that until you have learned how to keep your power for yourself with new women that you meet, it's best to stick to coffee or tea for "dates". When you say to a woman "meet me for a cup of tea and some conversation", it communicates a very different message. It says, in effect "It's just gonna be you and me and our conversation".  It says, in effect, "Here's two bucks, 'cause that's all you're worth" (to quote Crow T. Robot). Anyway, there are 5 other questions -- go ahead and answer them on your own, and then see what your dating score is. Here's mine: Your Results... Your dating skills are AVERAGE! Damn!  I thought that as a woman, I might have some insight into how women think, but it turns out that I am just as lame as any NewsMax reader.  You scored a 69 out of a possible 100 points. You’re pretty good with the ladies, but you can be intimidated by a woman who is exceptionally attractive. There are some women out there that you consider to be “out of your league”. Be that as it may, I'm still not interested in David's book, even though he assures me that it it isn't "some repackaged book from the 1970s that's filled with ridiculous ideas and cheesy out-of-date pick-up lines." But then he ups the ante by telling me that I need "Double Your Dating" for self defense. Even worse, there are books out there like "The Rules" that teach women exactly how to manipulate men in order to get them to buy women expensive gifts and marry them by playing mind games. Hey, that's the kind of book I'm interested in!  Because if I'm going to play mind games, I should at least get some expensive gifts out of it. 7:21:38 AM

Here's Who Said It I don't want to keep you in suspense, so here are the answers and winners from yesterday's contest (we have some ties, because several people posted within a minute or two of each other; also, one person has trouble with numbers, but knows his wingnuts). 1. Debra Saunders   -  Gary Kleppe 2.  Dennis Prager  -  Brad R. 3.  Phyllis Schlafly  -  Brad R. 4.  Rick Santorum  -  Ruth 5.  James Dobson   -  redjalapeno and D. Sidhe  6.  Doug Giles  -  Bill S. and Realist   7.  Rush Limbaugh -  Cynthia and forked tongue 8.  Pastor Swank  -  D. Sidhe 9.  Hindrocket - ts and DivaLion, who said, "Gotta be Assrocket, dismayed to find that he's not achieving 'liftoff' even while watching Miss Universe." 10.  Carey Roberts  (or as Celtic Girl called him, "Pussy Pops") -  Brad R.  ts was the first to correctly identify all our Mystery Guests in one post, and expects a big prize in return.  And here it is: a point toward another great t-shirt, this one from The Wearable Gospel: Garbage Pail Pagans No.1: Pro-Choice Penny  All of our other winners get a point towards this really cool prize. Anyway, that concludes this week's contest.  Thanks to everyone for playing.  (And thanks to our Mystery Guests for their participation too -- we couldn't do it without them, although we'd certainly be willing to try.) 2:26:29 AM