March 8, 2005 by s.z.

Ghouls, Redux Just when you thought we'd seen an end of people using the Terri Schiavo case for their own self-aggrandizing and perverse reasons, NewsMax brings us one more: Mark Fuhrman Probing Schiavo Case Famed detective Mark Fuhrman, whose independent investigation into the Martha Moxley murder led to the conviction of Kennedy cousin Michael Skakel*, is probing the Terri Schiavo forced-starvation case. "He spent a month on the ground in Tampa," revealed Fox News Channel's Sean Hannity Friday night. "He's talked to many of the principals involved in investigating the case and he's coming out with a book." Of course he is.  (Too bad he no longer has Lucianne Goldberg as his literary agent, because she has impeccable credentials in the target audience for this tome).  I predict the title will be Murder in Pinellas Park: How Michael Schiavo Killed His Wife, Just Like That N***** O.J. Did.  Hannity will probably write the intro. Hannity said he personally contacted Fuhrman in March to suggest he probe a myriad of unresolved questions about Ms. Schiavo's condition, including a 1991 bone scan report showing that Schiavo suffered fractures sometime prior to being found unconscious in her home in February 1990. Here's what the Florida Department of Children And Families report said about the fractures:  The DCF report entered December 11, 2003 cited the finding of two physicians, Dr. James Carnahan and Dr. Eugenio Alcazaren, who gave sworn affidavits that a bone scan of Terri Schiavo showed “an indication of heterotrophic ossification, not trauma.” The report continued: “Both physicians indicated that it was common for patients such as Mrs. Schiavo, suffering from degenerative bone loss and heterotrophic ossification, to sustain fractures from being turned or from physical therapy.” But heck, that wouldn't sell many books, would it?  Schiavo's family has said repeatedly that they suspect Terri's condition was the result of a violent fight she had with her husband, Michael. Police never probed the case for evidence of assault because by the time the bone scan became public in 2002, the statute of limitations had run. And because no signs of broken bones were found when she was examined after her heart arrest in 1990. Fuhrman's investigation would be the first to review the case for evidence of a possible crime. Well, except for all of the CFS investigations, of course.  But maybe Mark's investigation will focus on the "possible crime" of Terri's "forced starvation" -- that way the suspects could include not just Mr. Schiavo, but also the judges, the hospice staff, Jeb Bush, and George W. Bush.  That way, like any good mystery, it can leave you guessing right until the end!  * Well, Mark Fuhrman credits his investigation for Skalel's conviction -- I don't think that there's a universal consensus on this matter. 2:23:27 AM

White Hunter, Runaway Bride Doug Giles' column for this week is about the Runaway Bride.  It's rather weak on substance, so let's just cut to the chase: Lastly, I’m sensing Jenny needs a good ole-fashion exorcism.  And I think we deserve, if we desire, to watch it.  Her Pastor stated that she needs some “spiritual counseling” and is going through a “rough time.”  Ya think?  It’s beyond that, my brother.  It’s time to call in an old priest and a young priest for a good versus evil throw down. Brad predicted that *Doug will probably say that groom-to-be John Mason wasn't enough of a 'hyper-manly-Jesus-on-steroids Christian' like Doug, and that he should have stoned his wife at the first sign of disobedience."  Brad, how could you have thought that Doug would say something silly like that -- as you have just seen, he actually called for a traditional exorcism. You own him an apology. But here's the interesting part of Doug's Townhall communique for the week: an ad for Doug's new hunting video! JUST RELEASED!  Giles’ first hunting DVD. Join Doug Giles and Charles Rodriguez as they hunt a giant Nilgai Antelope and a massive Texas Dall ram at the world famous Brady Ranch. In addition to these two chases we have included the highlights of eight wild boar hunts, brought to you at high speed and in your face. These toothy beasts were taken at close range with big bore double rifles. Awesome guns. Awesome additional footage!  Buy it now on Clash Radio. Personally, I want to see a video of Doug hunting a hair-tossing Marcia, an annoying Greg, and a lisping Cindy on world famous Brady Bunch Ranch -- at high speed and in your face. But here's some info on the Brady Ranch where Doug went hunting: Being an exotic game ranch, NO LICENSE is required by you. The methods used for hunting are four-wheel drive vehicles, spot and stalk, tree stands and blinds. Dogs can be used when hunting wild hogs.  Whether you are muzzle loading, bow hunting, or using a rifle, every hunter has an opportunity at their animal of choice. And the best thing is: the animals aren't armed!  But you will have to pay for your fun.  It costs $250 just to go hunting -- if you want to shoot an animal, you have to buy it.  A Nigali Antelope will run you $2000. So, you can see why Doug needs to sell videos of his exploits. Anyway, this is just volume one is Doug's series "Beyond the Pavement."  In volume two, Doug and Charles Rodriquez hunt the most dangerous game of all: Precious Moments figurines!  1:27:59 AM