Who Said It?
Name the wingnut who said each of the following, and win cool prizes!*
1. This columnist explains that the President didn't capitulate to popular opinion by dumping Harriet Miers and nominating Judge Alito. No, Bush merely demonstrated some delightful flexibility and some admirable disloyalty to a friend, and showed his adoring fans that he was "not brittle but supple, and absorbed what happened to him."
Conservatives like the Bush who's tough, flinty and determined. They don't like the Bush who's like Paul Newman in "Hud," the T-shirt-wearin', longneck-suckin' package-store cynic who wants what he wants when he wants it. Tough Bush won. You have to be tough to take it on the chin and keep walking.
Hint: This mystery guest likes the Bush who is a steely-eyed rocket man.
2. This columnist claims that life sucks for the Democrats, since instead of all the cuprits going down like they hoped, only Scooter Libby was indicted as a result of the Plame leak investigation (and only for non-crimes, such as perjury and obstruction of justice) -- and nobody in REAL America cares about Scooter or perjury, so this doesn't hurt the White House at all.
And things are going great for the Republicans, because President Bush's new nominee to the Supreme Court didn't go to law school in Texas (proving that he is smart), and he properly appreciates the Federalist Society as the cool club for world domination that it is (proving that he is evil). So, God's in his heaven, and all's right with the world once more -- as long as nobody mentions Tom DeLay, the President's low approval ratings, or Iraq.
It was going to be Fitzmas Day! (Which is much like Christmas except instead of having her baby in a manger, the woman has a late-term abortion.)
Hint: Although this mystery wingnut advises liberals to "visit Queens or Staten Island" to see what "normal people" think about a law requiring women to consult their husbands before getting abortions, I would be willing to bet money that her knowledge of normal people (and Queens and Staten Island) comes only from a faulty Lexis-Nexis search.
3. This columnist explains that our religious beliefs assure Americans that we're better than everybody else -- and that's why we're so great.
Oh, and people who love God think the Iraq War is great, even if it is illegal, there were no WMDs, and there might have been better ways to deal with Saddam. Oh, and these people also have posters of John Bolton in their lockers.
And that's why Judeo-Christianity rocks!
What is American exceptionalism? The belief that America often knows better than the world what is right and wrong. [...]
And from where does this belief in American exceptionalism derive? Mostly from the religious beliefs that underlie American values. [...]
Judeo-Christian America -- American exceptionalism America -- loves John Bolton, has contempt for the United Nations, mistrusts the World Court, regards Amnesty International as another morally confused leftist organization, thinks little of the world's media and academic elites, and regards "world opinion" as morally confused and left-wing media manipulated.
For the Right, especially the religious Right, however, whether China, Russia and France vote to authorize a war and make it legal is of no moral significance. Overthrowing the mass murderer/rapist/torturer Saddam Hussein was a moral good (irrespective of the presence or absence of WMD). If it violated international law, that only reflects on the moral inadequacy of international law, not on the wrongness of Americans giving up life and wealth to liberate Iraq.
Yes, believing that it's good for other Americans to give up their lives (and for future Americans to give up their "wealth") to wage a mismanaged war that continues to kill people who aren't Saddam Hussein is what true morality is all about.
Hint: This mystery guest is now up to part XXIV in his never-ending series about why he and his friends' values are way better than yours.
4. This Renew America columnist writes about how, at the "drop of a hat," "verbal bomb throwing radical leftists" attacked whoever leaked the identity of a CIA NOC to the press -- and before we knew it, the FBI was investigating the who, what, when, or why of the crime. Um, and that's bad.
They (Democrats) attack and their cronies in the media take up the lies and accusations and turn the fallacies into huge headlines. Before we know it, there are investigations being held about who, what, when or why. Not because the investigations necessarily are warranted and will be helpful. Because they will serve to delay and distract, and to provide ammunition for the Democrat attack machine and its minions and media allies.
Innocent people's names have been besmirched and sullied before their full day in court. This particular type of destructive politicking has never taken place in America before.
In all fairness to this wingnut, she was probably residing in a facility that didn't allow her to read newspapers, watch TV, or have any contact with the outside world from 1998 to circa sometime last week
5. This columnist says that it's not fair that the Left wants Karl Rove punished for leaking the name of a CIA NOC to the press, because the Democrats are all commie spies.
Let's visit the Left's record on national security matters. History is not kind. Where was the Left when the Rosenbergs, communists both, fed our nuclear secrets to the Soviet Union? Both were deep-fried for the treason they'd committed. Liberals tut-tutted then and tut-tut now, and don't tell me there aren't hardened leftists who favored giving nuclear weapons to the Soviets to thwart what they considered America's imperial ambitions.
So, if the Rosenbergs were communists who were executed for treason, then it's only right that current Bush officials should get to blow the cover of a CIA officer, and thereby compromise CIA sources and methods. Conversely, if Larry Franklin was convicted of various violations of the Espionage Act of 1917, then the Left gets to bitch slap Michael Ledeen. Fair is fair.
Hint: This mystery guest's usual beat isn't history, but rather the media (and how it's totally unfair to conservatives; and how it insists on airing steamy programs about slutty cheerleaders and such, and even more unfairly makes you pay extra to see them). I suspect he did the research for this column by reading his uncle's spy novels.
And those are our five mystery guests for this round. Can YOU figure out who they are, and deduce just who said what? If not, what's wrong with you?
* The prizes are not actually cool, and you won't actually win them.
4:34:59 AM
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