October 22, 2005 by s.z.

Important Notice When I am made supreme ruler of Earth and given the power to decide who lives and who dies, the following people will be allowed to live: julia, mark, bellatrys, Anne, doghouse riley, and Drew Johnston.  I urge you to read their blogs now, because someday they will be your overlords, puny humans, and you will need to know the secret signs that only their blogs will reveal if you want to survive!! Also allowed to live (and given either a boatload of sweet goverment contracts or a cushy job as head of FEMA or something) will be: D. Sidhe, preznit giv me turkee, Rowan Berkeley, Ted, Mrs. Tarquin Biscuitbarrel, Marq, Bill S (whose position in my cabinent has been changed to "Secretary of Opressing Dr. Mike, Ph.D"), FlipYrWhig, Chris Vosburg, Matt, Cynthia, Yaoi Huntress Earth, The tECHIDNA, Thlayl, and even John E. Thelin. This list may be updated in the future. That is all for now.  Endut! Hoch Hech!. Update: You should also read Pete's blog, if you know what's good for you, for not only won't he be eaten by sharks, the word on the street is that he's really tight with Cthulhu and some of the hipper elder gods.  11:32:50 PM

It's That Time of the Month...  ...which sometimes leads to crankiness. I just wanted to say that I started the whole "let's poke some good-natured fun at Leon Kass's Boundless article on courtship and marriage" meme that has shown up on certain blogs today.  Yes, it was me. ME!  While it would have been nice if the big boys at, oh Crooked Timber and Washington Monthly -- not to mention the bloggers who I had thought were my friends, sob -- had included a little link to my blog piece (it might have been a small reward for many hours I spent wading through the crap put out by Focus on the Family in order to find something amusing to comment on), I can live without the fame, recognition, money, groupies, and power that would have come with such a mention.  For if the Tom DeLay story has taught us anything, it's that power corrupts and it kills bugs DEAD. But I do want to thank Scott L. from Lawyers, Guns, and Money, Pam of   Shakespeare's Sister, Amanda of Pandagon, the Blog of the Moderate Left, and Bloggledygook for their mentions, links, and/or trackbacks.  When I write my book on blogging ethics (which I am going to call Ethics of a Naked Blogger:  How I Spent My Most Fertile Years Neither in the Home of My Father Nor of My Husband, But at a Computer; or, Why There Are Apparently No Female Bloggers, Damn It!), you will all appear on my "friends" list.  I will also give you your choice of cabinent posts when I become President.  (Okay, I'm not saying that others will appear on my enemies list, and will get the really crummy jobs in my cabinent, but SOME PEOPLE might want to link to my blog, just to avoid the possibility.) Oh, and for anyone who might be considering a career in amateur blogging, I want to warn you that in truth there is nothing that could be adequate compensation for time spent at the Focus on the Family sites.  I just thought you should know. 4:33:03 AM

A Match for VBen? Hey Bennie, Yenta Wo'C has a girl for you!  Her name is Pamela Paul, and she's the author of the newly published Pornified: How Pornography Is Transforming Our Lives, Our Relationships, and Our Families.  And since you're the author of Porn Generation: How Social Liberalism is Corrupting Our Future, it's obvious that you two young people have a lot in common.  In its article about Pam's book, Agape Press said, "What was once hidden in dark alleys and seedy theaters is now being glorified and mainstreamed by today's 'pornified' culture."  And in a column about your book, you once said, "Pornography is no longer relegated to the dark corners of the newsstand or the skuzzy box in the video store; it's now in your inbox. It's on the radio, the television and the billboards."  So, you can see why I think that you'd be perfect for each other. Plus, from her site, we learn that Pam "speaks frequently on national radio about issues related to marriage and divorce, social and demographic trends and generational issues."  Just like you!  And she's as cute as a button! Of course, she is divorced (her short lived union was apparently the impetus for her first book, The Starter Marriage).  And she is in her thirties (and never was America's youngest syndicated columnist).  And although she's a "contributor to Time magazine," she never attended Harvard Law -- so, she's probably not good enough for you, Ben.  But still, you're not getting any younger, and it's about time you settled down and had a passle of children.  And if not with Pamela, then maybe with Laura Kipnis.  2:34:55 AM

Conservative Ad of the Week It's from Townhall. Although the girl in the photo is kinda scary-looking (she looks like she is looking for prey, not a date -- and that she ripped out and ate the bleeding hearts of the last five men she met), I thought the slogan was so clever that I decided to check out this match making service.   Here's some Information about it: With a culture that is often hostile to conservative values and to the people who hold to them, our goal is to provide an alternative resource in which individuals may find like-minded conservatives for the purposes of friendship, romance and marriage. Many of the larger web sites for singles are behaving more and more like major news media outlets, in that they carry a high liberal bias.  Typically these services are neutral or even hostile to people with conservative values. Following in the footsteps of Conservative talk-radio, Fox News and the Washington Times our service is a clear alternative and the best way for single conservatives to find friends or a future spouse. So, it's like hanging out at Fox News or the Moonie Times, and hoping to get laid.  Cool! Although our service is not a religious singles web site, it is based upon Judeo-Christian principles that have been the bedrock of society since the dawn of mankind. 6000 years ago. Anyway, it sounded good, so I decided to join (at least, long enough to check out some profiles).  However, before you can sign up, you must solumnly swear that: I consider myself a conservative and typically represent myself as such when expressing my ideological views. I understand the term "conservative" in the context of this service to mean "someone who embraces values typically associated with political parties or ideologies such as Republicans, Libertarians, Constitutionalists, 'Reagan Democrats' or similar parties from other countries." And since I understand the term "conservative" to mean something else, I couldn't in good conscience join up.  So, I guess it's back to dating liberals.  P.S. The site's willingness to accept Libertarians as conservatives reminded me of something I had wanted to tell you about, but never did. Anyway, last week I was watching a segment about helping the hurricane victims that appeared on one of the cable news channels (I think it was MSNBC). One of the people interviewed was a rather austure-looking middle-aged guy who was talking about how he didn't think the government should do anything to help to rebuild the houses or businesses of the victims. While he spoke, he was identified by name and described as a "libertine." I was glad they told us, because despite his questionable views, some innocent maidens might have been taken in by him otherwise. 1:54:12 AM