November 6, 2004 by s.z.

If Alan Keyes Lost the Election, Why does 'Renew America' Still Exist? I think this is something The Corner should get right on. In any case, here are a couple of Renew America pundits to brighten your day and teach you the lessons of the election. First, let's hear from Barbara Stock, the Nurse Ratchett of the right.  Her column is entitled, "What Have the Democrats Learned?" Her conclusion: nothing.  But, per Barbara, at least Osama learned that we aren't Spain, and France learned that we are idiots. Oh, and Barbara agrees with the person (sorry, I'm too tired to remember who you are) who said that the voters surveyed in those exit polls lied, claiming to have voted for Kerry because they were ashamed of their votes for Bush. Many are blaming the now infamous "exit polls" which proved not just to be wrong, but very wrong. Early on in the day, everyone was saying that it was clear-sailing for John Kerry — an easy win. Some are blaming those gathering the information. I'm not so sure that the numbers, based on what people told pollsters after voting, were wrong. I believe the people they polled simply were not honest. Middle-of-the-road Democrats never embraced John Kerry. Kerry was the epitome of what comes from the far left of the party. Moderate Democrats knew Kerry was soft on defense. They heard his many flip-flops and they heard the lies. I believe that in the end, moderates just could not bring themselves to vote for John Kerry. While dutifully putting up Kerry signs in their yards and perhaps even putting Kerry/Edwards bumper-stickers on their cars, many moderate Democrats went into the voting booth and voted for George W. Bush. To maintain their image with their hard-core Democrat friends, moderates are now smiling to themselves while shaking their heads in disbelief when asked, "How could this happen?" No one will ever know. Except it wasn't their "hard-core Democrat friends" who were doing the questionning, it was professional pollsters (as far as I know).  People tell professional pollsters stuff like that only shower once a week, never floss their teeth, cheat on their spouse, and cheat on their taxes.  So, if they'd rather lie than tell the pollster that they voted for Dubya, it must say something about Dubya (and not just that Kerry is "far left"). John Thune defeated Tom Daschle after decades in the senate. Daschle's state of South Dakota finally had had enough of his hateful obstructionism and liberalism. Republicans gained seats in both the Senate and the House. This was a clear message to Democrats, but I have to wonder if they are listening. I suspect the hate will only grow. Instead of realizing that the majority of Americans just don't see the world as they do, Democrats will just try to find a different, more subtle way of regaining their power. So, per Barbara, what Democrats should have learned from the election is: the majority of Americans (51%) don't see the world the way that you do, so your kind should never run for public office again, should never hold political power, and should try to be loving and cooperative like the Republicans.  But instead, you will probably just do something sneaky, like run again in 2006, and leave us no choice but to exterminate you all. Now, here's Paul M. Weyrich, the King of the Wingnuts. So God is indeed a Republican. While that would explain a lot about why the world is so screwed up, I refuse to believe it. He must be. His hand helped re-elect a President, with a popular mandate, whose job approval ratings were the lowest since ratings began of any President who has been re-elected. His hand helped re-elect a President in a country where "wrong track" was way ahead of "right track." His hand helped re-elect a President in a country where, in the rust belt and the South, millions of jobs have been lost.     God?  Or could it be . . .Satan?  I mean, folklore is full of stories about losers who sell their souls for power, fame and success (and often times, a hot babe).  Doesn't it make more sense that George made a deal with the devil (Karen Hughes) to win this election, than that a just God would punish the rest of us just to help reelect a President who screwed things up so badly during his first term? His hand brought out the millions of evangelical voters Karl Rove was looking for and lots of conservative Catholics to boot. So, God manipulates evangelicals (and some Catholics to boot) at the behest of Karl Rove??? His hand turned the bitter result of a Massachusetts court forcing gay marriage on the populace into a reason for values voters to turn out by the millions, especially in Ohio, which gave the President his Electoral College victory. In other words, God created gays and made them want to get married, just so people would hate them and push George Bush to victory. His hand helped the President win a majority of the electorate despite the most negative media coverage of a President in modern history. Bill Clinton and Richard Nixon might disagree about that "most negative media coverage" thing.  God may not be a Republican but he heard the fervent prayers of millions of values voters ... and their prayers carry more weight than the prayers of Democrats, just like the prayers of the winning sports team are more effective than the prayers of the losers.  to keep His hand on America one more time despite our national sins of denying the right to life, ... to thousands of Iraqis despite ignoring the Biblical injunction against acts which are "an abomination unto the Lord" ... a proud look, a lying tongue, hands which shed innocent blood, etc. and despite the blatant attempt to remove God from the public square. ...because God lives inside Ten Commandments boulders. God gave this President and this President's Party one more chance. And I have it on good authority that if they blow it this time, they get the Cities of the Plains treatment. 5:59:56 AM

Who Said It? Yes, yesterday's mystery guest was Rush Limbaugh, who explained to his radio-show listeners that a vote for George Bush wasn't a vote against gay marriage, but was instead a vote against blue-state breasts.  (And I agree with Jonathan that "Mr. Snerdley" is just one of the voices in Rush's head, possibly one evoked by those pills with the blue centers.) Now, what good Christian said this? [Y]ou've got to kill the terrorists before the killing stops. And I'm for the president to chase them all over the world. If it takes 10 years, blow them all away in the name of the Lord. 4:37:12 AM

We Visit the Corner We haven't been to NRO's "The Corner" in a while, because, like King Arthur said about Camelot, "It's a silly place."  However, because we take to heart our obligation to bring you all the wingnuts who aren't fit to print, we paid a call on the assorted losers who hang out there.  The big news is that Kathryn Jean Lopez is calling on their readers to pester everybody in D.C. and demand that Arlen Specter not be allowed to serve as the head of the Senate Judiciary Committee.  You know, because he might not support Bush's plan to assassinate Ruth Bader Ginsburg and replace her with a judge who shares KJ's values: someone like Judge Ann Coulter. Here are a couple of selections from KJ's dozens of posts on the topic:  A WORD (WELL OR A FEW HUNDRED) [KJL] It’s near-impossible to get through to any office on the Hill. Good work. Keep at it. You’re getting the word out, and, may be bucking up senators who, as that Miller piece reminds us, are no fans of Specter themselves. Make sure people continue to send emails and faxes through the weekend. I’ve said this before and it bears repeating. I cannot remember the last time we encouraged people to make phonecalls and send emails and faxes. I personally don’t do it out of empathy for the guy who has to answer the phone. But this is vital. Again, we won the election. The American people gave the conservative agenda, such that it is, a vote of confidence. And now, with a 55-seat majority in the Senate, we’re going to be held hostage to the Left’s agenda anyway? I don’t think so. Posted at 01:19 PM  CHAIRMAN SPECTER: MAKING THE WINNERS THE LOSERS [KJL] Check this out from the New York Times today: Sheryl Gay Stolberg contrasts "beleaguered" abortion-rights advocates with angry abortion opponents: "Abortion rights advocates, feeling beleaguered after Senator John Kerry's loss to Mr. Bush, said they were encouraged by Mr. Specter's remarks. [...] So...the Left loses the election, but wins anyway. As I said yesterday, this election is not over. Put an end to this Specter-as-chairman business. Posted at 12:33 PM So, if your candidate wins an election, it means that the world should be reordered completely to your liking.  Say, I see, "We won the election, and yet ..." being the "We can put a man on the moon, but ..." of the new millennium.  Here are some examples of how I think it could be used: Doug Giles: "We Christian evangelical wild men warriors won this election, and yet you people of my church keep bugging me with your stupid personal problems!  Will your mother be any less dead if I interrupt my study/hunting time to talk to you now, instead of waiting for office hours?  Hey, here's Billy Graham's home phone number; call him for a change."  Ben Shapiro: "We Judeo-Christian conservative young people won this election, and yet some of my classmates at Harvard still laugh at me?  As America's youngest syndicated columnist (and a student at Harvard Law), I demand that you call them all (their phone numbers are provided at the bottom of my column), and tell them to be nice to me." Rush Limbaugh: "We people with values won this election, and yet I am still being investigated by the Palm Beach County authorities for doctor shopping?  As your fuehrer, I order you to call Jeb Bush and make him force them to leave me alone. Otherwise, it's just like that feminazi Hitlery is your new President -- and you know how much you hate the idea of a woman bossing you around." And so on. Now, here's a post by one John J. Miller (or, as I suggest he call himself, "J.J. 'Dynomite' Miller"). POTTY MOUTH KERRY [John J. Miller] Remember the huge fuss media liberals kicked up over Dick Cheney cussing at Pat Leahy a few months back? They thought it was a huge, hairy deal--and a news story. Now we're reading all these post-election accounts of what Kerry was saying behind the scenes, including his apparent fondess for the F-word. But that, of course, wasn't news at the time. Posted at 06:19 PM Apparently J.J. is reacting to a post of Kathryn Jean's in which she quotes a Newsweek article which has Kerry saying the f-word as an expletive when his hairbrush can't be found before a photo shoot.  Now, can anybody see why that might be more newsworthy than the V.P. telling a senator to "go f--- " himself after the senator made a friendly overature following a senate meeting?  If so, maybe you can explain it to J.J. And that's it for today's visit to The Corner.  I told you it was a silly place. 2:23:35 AM