September 30, 2004 by s.z.

What Do Women Want?  A Special "Sex Thursday" Message from Sadly, No!'s special lady, Kerry Marsala. Since the inception of the radical feminist movement over thirty years ago it would appear women no longer need or admire strong independent men. The fixation with "girl power" the NOW Gang and Steinman doctrine really helped the female bird fly over the cuckoo's nest. That's apparently some kind of lesbian euphenism for you-know-what. The radical doctrinal beliefs of these old embittered men hating battalions are gradually being adjusted. Strong independent women are finding the balance of being who they are and at the same time appreciating the strong independent qualities in their men. Take for instance a woman such as Condoleezza Rice. Yes, Condi appreciates the strong independent qualities in her man (and secret husband) George Bush. Hence, women such as Condoleezza Rice, Ann Coulter, Laura Ingraham, and Michelle Malkin are recognized as self-assured women who are intelligent and progressive in their viewpoints. Ann, Laura, and Michelle are recognized as intelligent and progressive???  And Ann is recognized as a woman??? There is great admiration by women for men who will not sway or tergiversate. From Merriam-Webster Main Entry: ter·gi·ver·sate Etymology: Latin tergiversatus, past participle of tergiversari to show reluctance, from tergum back + versare to turn, frequentative of vertere to turn. Date: 1654 : to engage in tergiversation Now, I want to hear George pronounce it correctly. We as the female gender are voting for the re-election of President Bush not because we agree with everything he stands for straight down the party line, but men like our president give us a sense of stability and security Because we are just women, and we need a man to give us a sense of security, even if he doesn't actually keep us safe, and even if we don't agree with what he stands for (evil). President Bush will not go to France or the U.N. for permission to defend our homeland. President Bush will not pander to the politics of far-left sabotage. President Bush will not cower to the tantrums of naysayers. President Bush will not retreat, run, and hide from those who wish to kill us in cold blood. He has drawn his line in the sand and we as moms, wives, lawyers, girlfriends, doctors, and journalist can rest assured that this breed of what a man is- is what women want. I'm not a mom, wife, lawyer, girlfriend, doctor, or journalist, so I guess that's why whatever breed of what a man is that Bush happens to be, is not what I want. "Girly men" or "Metrosexual" men are not what women need or want. Being able to speak French, having ties to the Kennedy family and being married to money may play well on the movie screen, but being a namby-pamby wave drifter will not save our souls. However, beiing unable to speak French (or English), having a grandfather with ties to companies that did business with Nazi Germany, and being born to money WILL save our souls. Yes, we want men to treat us as their equal, under our differences of operation, The hell?  "Do operate women while taking this medication." but more importantly what we want is our men to be men. Kind, dependable, strong, resolute, loving, self assured, masculine men is what protects our homes, our children, our cities, our states, our nation and our world from the evils of those like the terrorist who seek to destroy our very lives. Masculine men (like Bush) is what protects our cities, states, nation, world, solar system, galaxy, universe and children from the evil of those like the terrorist -- simply by existing. What women need, is a man like W. Well, him or a dildo, I guess. See, this is why I blame Bush for turning "Sex in the City" actresses and the daughters of Illinois carpet baggers into lesbians. Oh, and Sex Thursday will continue later, after I do some stuff. 8:34:01 AM

I Blame George Bush     Frederick, the evil mastermind behind BeatBushBlog, keeps sending me accusing letters:   Dear Ms. Crap: Thanks to your immoral, gay-marriage-advocating blog, hitherto notoriously heterosexual actresses have begun "dining at the hairy taco" (link) I trust that you're pleased with yourself. Praying for your immortal soul, I remain Frederick   Dear Ms. Crap: I am dismayed to report that even a godly young woman like Maya Keyes , daughter of Alan Keyes, has been led into evil -- not to mention another young woman's hoo-ha -- by your wicked blog.  [News stories here and here] Yours in Christ,   Frederick   Hey, it's NOT MY FAULT, Frederick!  While it is my dream to use this blog to rule the world, I don't think I yet have the power to control people's love lives.  (But I guess it's possible that I do, so you'd better only leave nice comments if you don't want to be involved in an affair with Dick Cheney.)     And it's obvious that if Alan's daughter has sworn off men to sample the delights of the isle of Lesbos, it's because Alan taught her that homosexuals are selfish hedonists, which sounds so much more appealing than being a self-martyring ascetic.   Oh, and while I'm not married, I'm also not responsible for Alan Keyes remarking last night to the high school students that marriage is sinful and wrong: Asked Wednesday if he would support a family member who was gay and wanted to get married, Keyes responded: "I couldn't." "You're asking me a personal question, right, in terms of what I'd say to a family member. And that has to be governed by my personal conscience, and my personal conscience is shaped by my faith, and my faith is very clear: That homosexual relationships are sinful and wrong, and I will not - not - facilitate my children, whom I love, in going down a path that, according to my faith, leads to a kind of death that's worse than physical death," Keyes said. "You don't love somebody if you become the facilitator of the destruction of their spiritual and moral life," he said.  Oh, I guess he was just talking about same-sex marriage. Hey, Alan, homosexual relationships are going to exist whether or not same-sex marriage is made legal, so isn't it better (from a Christian perspective) that those involved in such relationships have a way to commit themselves to each other? Oh, and Alan, I hope that you didn't really mean that you would rather that your daughter died than that she was involved in a lesbian relationship. But in any case, I DIDN'T MAKE HER GAY, despite what Frederick may have told you.  7:05:12 AM

Sex the Vote! Here's another news item I didn't catch before: NEW YORK - While George W Bush and John Kerry argue about Vietnam war records, a non-partisan group is taking an unorthodox approach to the problem of low voter turnout -- asking people to promise not to have sex with non-voters until the next Presidential election in 2008. Votergasm is taking its campaign to the internet as part of the push, and will also be advertising in swing states. On the group's website, people can sign up to three levels of pledge [...]  the most committed level will see the pledgee promise to have sex with a voter on election night and withhold sex from non-voters for the next four years. So, "Sure, I voted, baby!" will become the newest pre-coital lie, ranking right after "Of course I'll respect you in the morning!" Ads for Votergasm will appear in student papers in Pennsylvania, Ohio, Wisconsin, Florida, Colorado, Michigan, Iowa and Missouri. Michelle Collins, spokeswoman for the organisation, said: "Voting is hot. And young voters are hot for each other. Votergasm.org is a way to channel our generation's patriotism into sex and vice versa. Election Day should be an erotic national youth festival, an orgy of democracy and civic participation." And in other news, here's part of Ben Shapiro's latest column: A September 2002 University of California at Berkeley study showed that [...] Virginity rates are rising, and teenage pregnancy rates are dropping. So, more people are becoming virgins.  That is indeed an interesting development. 4:05:13 AM

Sex Scandal on the Bounty In an effort to make this blog more international in scope, here's some news from Pitcairn Island. Mayor facing abuse charge A court lifted a veil of secrecy from the sex abuse scandal that has rocked Pitcairn Island yesterday, revealing the Mayor and a former magistrate are among seven men about to stand trial. [...] Pitcairns Mayor Cr Steve Christian and his son, Randy, face 55 charges, including rape, indecent assault and gross indecency, as do Mr Dennis Christian, Mr Dave Brown, Mr Len Brown, Mr Terry Young and former magistrate Mr Jay Warren. The court released their identities after it acknowledged that all 47 people on the tiny island had long known who they were. Yeah, it must be hard to keep your sex scandals quiet on an island with a population of  47. Most of the islanders are descendants of the Bounty mutineers who came to the island two centuries ago. Some say the trials threaten the viability of their community and that Britain wants them to eventually leave so it|can save the money it now spends on propping up its last Pacific dependency. On Tuesday, a group of women went public and defended the accused men, saying under-age sex by girls as young as 12 years old was part of island life and did not constitute rape or child abuse. Um, be that as it may, I think that Captain Bligh should try to tighten things up on the island.   (Oh, and here's a longer, more detailed report from CBS News, in case you're interested.) 3:45:50 AM

Sex Thursday.  Nothin' But Sleaze  We start with some info on a product which many of you will probably want to purchase:"The Porn for Kerry" DVD. Here's some info on it from the Times of India: The "association of adult filmmakers and political activists" has released a DVD titled 'The Porn for Kerry' on their website, supporting Democraitc presidential hopeful John Kerry. The adult DVD is described as a part "political satire and part hard core hot sex must-watch" by the group's site pornforprogress.com. All the proceeds from the sales are to be donated to Kerry's campaign. The DVD, priced at $29.99, is short on supply due to its high demand, claims the site. Since we are a woman, and so just interested in the plots of these kind of DVDs, we were happy to learn that "The Porn for Kerry" has some (and they involve some of our favorite people):  The DVD features a porn star potraying Jenna Bush the first daughter in one of the scenes as Jenteal Bush who has got bigger problems than alcoholism when a group of sexy homeland security agents raid her sorority house. I bet pillow fights break out! And the adult film version of President George Bush as, Jorge Bush thought his hot tub business meeting with King Fahk of Sexy Alabia would be, well, all business, while His Highness always knows how to entertain guests with his personal squad of sex minions. So, does this scenario involve a sexy encounter between George .. . er, Jorge and King, um, Fahk?  If so, while probably historically accurate, it doesn't sound all that titillating. And in one scene, after a particularly heated TV debate, blonde bombshell conservative Ann Cunter (Ann Coulter, conservative political commentator and writer) and quirky comedian Al Frankenbeans (Al Franken, comedian and political satirist ) blow off some steam in the dressing room. I don't think too much of their porn character names, but because they feature a male/female dalliance (and probably a coed-on-coed one), a male/male political rapprochement, and a transexual/male bumping of the uglies, I have to applaud their efforts at being inclusive.   3:06:10 AM