August 11, 2004 by s.z.

Flat Earth Family Circus I fell behind on my Family Circus prognosticating too -- sorry. Today's Cartoon  (See it here): Anyway, today's cartoon shows Jeffy standing in the middle of a flat, grassy expanse; the only feature breaking up the monotony is a house in the distance.  (Presumably, on the way home from the Grand Canyon his parents abandoned him in Iowa).  Jeffy says, "Is the world round all over? 'Cause it sure looks flat in places." Analysis: Jeffy, in his imperial purple, is Dubya (as usual).  The white house, in sight but out of reach, is the White House.  The two buzzards circling over it are Rove and Hughes.  "Is the world round all over?' 'Cause it sure looks flat in places."  Dubya believes that the world should be judged from how things look to him -- if the world seems flat from his perspective, then it's flat.  If it seems to him like Iran is behind 9/11, then it is -- and we flatten it.  This shows why it's dangerous to have a four-year-old as your President. Prediction: While there may or may not be another attack on American soil during Bush's watch, history will concede that he did a good job clearing brush on his ranch. Well, that's what it looked like to me.  The floor is open to opposing views. 7:29:30 AM

I Know What You Did Last TownHall Hey, sorry about the lack of posting.  Yes, I suffered a relapse of the illness I had last week (thanks for all of the kind words -- they really meant a lot).  Anyway, to make it up to you (or to make you feel as crummy as I do), here's an extra special edition of Townhall Review. Dennis Prager Dennis got a lot of irate emails about last week's column, in which he picked on a 12-year-old girl.  He uses this week's column to explain that he wasn't picking on the girl, he was picking on the Democrats.  But even if he were picking on the girl, "Traditional wisdom" holds that children shouldn't criticize their elders, but "it is adults' role to criticize the young so as to make them responsible adults" -- so he would have been doing her a FAVOR by publicly maligning her. And besides, people were just mad at Dennis because "in the feminist world in which liberals live," it's considered uncool to beat up girls.  See, in the world where Dennis lives, women and children only speak when they're spoken to, and they only say nice things about their superiors. And anyway, Dennis never said that the girl didn't have the constitutional RIGHT to speak, he only said that she didn't have the STATURE to speak, since she wasn't a middle-aged man, or a vice president. What I wrote is that "She is a mere child, more foolish than most, in that she actually thinks she has earned the right to publicly ridicule the vice president of the United States." I was simply asserting that before one mocks the American vice president at a national political convention, one ought to have earned the stature to do so, and I cannot imagine any 12-year-old who has. It is abundantly clear that the notion of earning stature is alien to many, probably most, liberals' thinking.   See, Dennis has earned the right to criticize people for using foul language (like he did in the seminal piece On public cursing and other public sins) by being a prick for many years.  However, HE hasn't said anything about Cheney's "go f--- yourself" remark, so it really chafes his derriere that a Democratic girl presumed to do so.  Maggie Gallagher It seems that because people encouraged her by buying her recent book The Proper Care and Feeding of Husbands (mostly as a gag gift for bridal showers), Dr. Laura has written ANOTHER one.  It's called Woman Power: Transform Your Man, Your Marriage, Your Life.  It appears to be about how women can transform their men, their marriages, and their lives by baking cookies in the nude. For all the professional progress women have made, "I am woman, hear me whine" could be the mantra of the postmodern educated woman when it comes to relationships, especially marriage. "Somehow we've even developed the notion that a woman who seeks to meet her husband's needs is subservient (but a husband who fails to meet his wife's needs is a pig)," points out Dr. Laura Schlessinger in her new book, "Woman Power." Its theme is that women have enormous power over men, especially the power to make your average, decent family guy feel miserably inadequate as a man.  Well, if making men feel bad about the size of their penises is the only power women have, I guess that Dr. Laura (and Maggie) are demanding that the bitches use it for good, not for evil.        Rich Lowry Rich says that John Kerry implied that Bush is responsible for the asthma suffered by the children of Harlem; Rich claims that Kerry also implied that he would do something about ending asthma.  However, Kerry is only concerned about environmental issues because he hates Bush. So potent is the notion of Bush denying children their very breath that John Kerry repeated the charge by implication in his speech at the Democratic Convention: "What does it mean when 25 percent of children in Harlem have asthma because of air pollution? America can do better, and help is on the way." [...] Given all of this, Kerry's implied pledge to end the asthma epidemic stands as one of the emptiest political promises of all time. Is he going to launch a crusade against pet dander if that's proven a major cause of the epidemic? But for Bush critics, all medical uncertainties and research imponderables disappear before their one all-purpose epidemiological insight: It is George Bush's fault.  What I think Rich is implying here is that the black children of New York only contracted asthma to show their hatred for George Bush. Rebecca Hagelin Rebecca is still shocked, SHOCKED to learn that TV tries to sell stuff to its viewers, including children.  Somehow Janet Jackson's breast is behind this scheme.  The master at feeding crass images of sexuality and rebellion to our children is Viacom. If the name of this media giant sounds familiar, it's because they are the same folks who brought 90 million Americans Janet "Flashing" Jackson during Super Bowl 2004. While CBS whined it had no idea MTV was going to produce a show that included what amounted to a strip-tease act, the execs of the parent company of both broadcast outlets, Viacom, were laughing all the way to the bank.  Laughing at Rebecca, no doubt, as they deposited the extra money their sponsors paid them to corrupt America's youth. Kathleen Parker Nonpartisan Kathleen calls on both Republicans and Democrats to be more civil as they campaign -- because otherwise, a few people will vote for Ralph Nader.  Beyond Republican designs, Nader's position as a default contender underscores the degree of alienation many feel as extremists on both sides push politics from the ordinarily dirty to the extraordinarily smutty. [...] Basta, boys. Enough. It's over. Give it a rest, but Kerry goes first. No more "reporting for duty," no more Purple Hearts, Bronze and Silver Stars, no more Swift boats. We know Kerry went; we know Bush didn't. Yes, Kerry's mention of his Vietnam service is just meant as a cheap shot at Bush --and since Kerry started the mudthrowing back in the '60s when he enlisted (just to show up George. of course), it's up to Kerry to stop the nastiness first by never again mentioning his awards for heroism.  Because they make Bush look bad, and that's extraordinarily smutty.  Ben Shapiro Young Ben uses his expensive college education to prove that Michael Moore is just like Lenin, in that they both started alternate newspapers, both were political activists, both are against the Iraq war, and both attempted to overthrow the czar. Like Lenin, Moore has twisted the war in Iraq into a club with which to beat the Bush administration. Moore gulps the communist Kool-Aid that imperialism is an inevitable side effect of capitalism.  Ben concedes that Moore isn't as dangerous as Lenin because we don't actually have a czar to overthrow.  However, since Lenin is dead, Churchill would probably say that Moore is today's "embodiment of evil."  You know, if Churchill were still alive. The vitriol of his minions approaches the brink of violence. Moore seeks to undermine faith in American republicanism, capitalism and American foreign policy. Let there be no doubt: Michael Moore is a threat to the American way of life.   I sure hope that Ben isn't planning to try to assassinate Lenin ... I mean Moore.  You know, to save the American way of life, and to impress Ann Coulter.    Gary Aldrich Gary, author of Unlimited Access ("Former G-man's sleazy White House memoir raises questions -- again -- about the book industry's sloppy standards") explains that the "Swift Boat Vets" are just like him -- brave truth tellers who will be labeled as politically motivated dupes and liars, but who will later be declared martrys by the Church of Scaife.  The truth did not matter – I was whatever the news media said I was.  I’ve labored long and hard to regain my reputation and credibility, and to some degree I have succeeded.  But for a lot of Americans, all they will ever remember about my attempt to tell the truth is that the president’s top advisor, George Stephanopoulos, called me a pathological liar. Gary has some degree of reputation and credibility now???  Damn, I guess society IS going to hell in a handbasket, like the Townhallers have been telling us. Brent Bozell The (liberal, elite, "mainstream") media is failing to investigate John Kerry's Vietnam service, as told by the Swift Boat Vets; the press also seems to blindly accept that the St. Christopher medallion story.  Brent finds this really scary. Minutes before John Kerry marched into the Fleet Center to accept the Democratic nomination, CBS reporter Byron Pitts pulled out the intimate personal information: "Senator Kerry is a very superstitious man. Just before he steps into the hall, he will do what he has always done before a major moment in his life. He will make a Sign of the Cross, then kiss the St. Christopher medallion his mother gave him as a child." Aside from the confusion of religion and superstition, there is one obvious question for viewers: How does Pitts know this is true? [...] What's depressing here for the American people is that the "mainstream press" is so relentlessly partisan that they have so utterly failed to see it as their job to explore the full biography of a man who stands a very decent chance of becoming the next president.  And wouldn't it be calamitous if Kerry did become President, and we later found that not only did he get a Purple Heart for a mere scratch, but that he didn't even own a St. Christopher medallion? Michelle Malkin Internment camps: not just for Asians anymore! I recently spoke with a group of bright, young law students and undergrads from the best schools in the country, including Yale, Georgetown, the University of Chicago and William and Mary. [...] When I mentioned that a large number of those interned in U.S. Department of Justice camps were of European descent, the students showed surprise. "I didn't know that," someone said aloud. Well, that goes to show you how badly educated even students at prestigious universities can be.  You know, that they'd want to listen to Michelle Malkin. Among them was Arthur D. Jacobs, an American-born son of German immigrants. Jacobs' father was rounded up in Brooklyn and sent to a temporary internment camp on Ellis Island in late 1944 after his name inexplicably showed up on a Nazi Party list. So, see!  The fact that a German-American whose name appeared on a Nazi Party list was interned proves that racism had nothing to do with the interning of Japanese-Americans for being Japanese. Linda Chavez Linda analyzes that Gallup poll which showed that people who go to church more than once a week are more likely to vote for Bush than Kerry.  The Gallup Organization poses it as a conundrum: Churchgoers are much more likely to support George W. Bush, while those who don't attend church regularly are more likely to favor John F. Kerry. Men are also more likely to favor Bush, while women back Kerry. Yet, more women than men can be found in the pews any Sunday morning. So how is it that Bush does better than Kerry among both church attendees and men? The answer, according to Jeffrey M. Jones and Joseph Carroll, who analyzed the Gallup data, is that white men who attend services weekly so overwhelmingly support Bush that they tip the scales. And why do these very religious white men not support Kerry, who is a devout Catholic?  Because he doesn't vote against abortion, and supports civil unions for homosexuals.  Not that these issues are key with the very religious voters, of course-- it's just that they can't abide people who look like political opportunists. It would be one thing if he said he disagreed with the Catholic Church on these matters, but he doesn't. Instead, he tries to have it both ways, making him appear weak and unprincipled. And that may be why religious voters -- especially men -- seem less comfortable with John Kerry.   And why does this only bother the white, male portion of the very religious voter group?  Who knows -- but since they are the only ones who matter, let's not worry about anybody but them, and what makes them comfortable. Tony Blankley Tony, another nonpartisan pundit, also addresses the claims of the Swift Boat Vets. But this scandal charge is by over 200 respectable former naval officers and men. The primary author, John O'Neill, first started publicly challenging Mr. Kerry 30 years ago on the "Dick Cavett Show." Some background from the Boston Globe: WASHINGTON -- Thirty-three years ago, a young sailor named John O'Neill was sitting in the Oval Office, talking with President Nixon and his counsel, Charles Colson, about an effort to take on an antiwar leader named John F. Kerry. For nearly an hour, Nixon sought to buck up O'Neill, recalling how he, Nixon, had taken on the communists and suggesting it was now up to O'Neill to take on the antiwar protesters. O'Neill took the advice and soon engaged Kerry in a series of televised debates at which he charged that Kerry was making up allegations of Vietnam atrocities.  Now, back to Tony: The co-author, Jerome Corsi, is not a political hack, but a college friend of Mr. O'Neill, with a Ph.D. from Harvard and a distinguished writing career. An example of that distinguished writing, as discovered by Media Matters: Isn't the Democratic Party the official SODOMIZER PROTECTION ASSOCIATION of AMERICA -- oh, I forgot, it was just an accident that Clintoon's first act in office was to promote "gays in the military." RAGHEADS are Boy-Bumpers as clearly as they are Women-Haters -- it all goes together. (11/18/2001) (As MediaMatters notes, "Corsi is also a frequent participant in FreeRepublic.com's online forums, posting under the pseudonym 'jrlc' since 2001. (Click here to read a full set of Corsi's posts; click here to read the post in which "jrlc" admits to being Jerome Corsi.") So, Tony is right about Corsi not being a poltical hack, since the Freepers can only dream of hackdom. The book has the ring of sincerity to it, and the mark of careful research and writing. If they are not telling the truth, all these men have exposed themselves to financially ruinous libel actions by Mr. Kerry -- who has the private resources to prosecute such actions. Even as a public figure, he might well win such an action, if this book is the pack of lies the Kerry camp says it is.  If it is not a pack of lies, the nation needs to know that, too. I would encourage some of the major voices of the non-conservative mainline media -- Tim Russert, Dan Rather, Leonard Downie Jr. of the Washington Post -- to do as I did. Spend an evening reading the book. If they are not struck by the damning picture it paints of John Kerry and the credibility of the presentation, forget about it. But if they judge it as I did, then let their consciences be their guide. Tony, honey, did you ever think that maybe they already have read the book, made a decision about its credibility, and forgot about it? Mike Adams  Dr. Mike, showing the good sense and maturity one would expect from a conservative college professor, urges students to make offensive public statements about gays and other minorities, so that the students will get accused of violating campus speech codes and Mike's volunteer lawyers (once he has some) can sue the university.  The rest is up to the students. I am sure that they can think of numerous ways to intentionally violate the campus right to be un-offended and comfortable, which is at the heart of the speech code movement. But, just in case students cannot think of anything, here are a couple of ideas: *In the fall semester most campuses sponsor “National Coming Out Day” for gays. Shortly thereafter, sponsor a “National Coming Out Day” for campus conservatives. Ask your administration to provide free counseling and “safe zones” for those ready to come out of the closet. *In the spring semester most campuses sponsor a “National Day of Silence” during which gays and gay activists don’t say anything as a way of bringing attention to gay issues. Write your administration telling them how much you enjoyed the “National Day of Silence” and then ask them to extend it. Specifically, you can petition for a “National Year of Silence” so you won’t have to listen to gay students whine about homophobia all year long. Either one of these ideas is sure to get under the administration’s skin badly enough to levy charges of hate speech. Then, the real fun will begin when you contact www.DrAdams.org and sue the hell out of them for violating your constitutional right to use parody and sarcasm as forms of expression.  And if the administration just says that the speech is hateful but doesn't ban it, what will Mike sue them for -- hurting the conservative student's feelings?  And what if the administration doesn't do anything about the student's stupid comments, but everyone on campus thinks that the student is a big jerk, and he finds that nobody wants to associate with him?  Well, he can hang out with Dr. Mike, and they can be pariahs together.  Won't that be fun!  Anyway, that's Townhall for today.  Tune in tomorrow, when I PROMISE to cover Doug Giles and Jen Shroder as part of our Carnival of the Wingnuts.  Really. 6:51:13 AM