August 16, 2004 by s.z.

Family Circus in the Time of Ancient Greece Today's Cartoon  (See it here): It's morning, as manifested by sun peeping up over the large algae patch on the window.  Dolly, wearing a pink plaid flannel nightgown, seems to have her arms on backwards; she is standing in front of the big screen screen TV which Daddy bought from a guy who was selling stuff that "fell off a truck."  The TV, showing interlaced soda 6-pack plastic ring containers, is apparently tuned to the "Summer Olympics from Athens" channel. Dolly asks the TV (or her invisible friend Violet Gurdon, or somebody out of the panel), "Why does Athens have its afternoon so early in the morning?" Analysis: Today Dolly represents Mary Cheney (a pink plaid flannel nightie is the established code for "lesbian").  By asking why it's a different time in another country, Mary is asking why America is behind nations like Canada and Denmark when it comes to legalizing same-sex marriage.  However, she's saying this very obliquely, because she's still working for her father's reelection campaign, and her father is still working for George Bush, who is for the FMA, since he and Karl Rove would rather alienate the Log Cabin Republicans than the evangelical Christians. Prediction: Once George Bush is reelected, the rest of the world will damn well switch to Merican time if they want any of our aid money. But I could be entirely wrong about all of it, so let's hear what Pete and Alison had to say.  First, here's Pete (who came to Earth with powers and abilities far beyond those of mortal man): Tomorrow's cartoon should serve as a stern warning to all of you liberal gun-grabbers and anti-American naysayers out there. Analysis: Little Alison stands in front of her new flat-screen television and asks the reader of the cartoon a pointed question: "Why does Athens have its afternoon so early in the morning?" What she's basically saying is that the Olympics will soon experience a terrifying incident (i.e. they are approaching twilight) very early into the Olympic Games. Prediction: Keane is warning us that a group of sinister Syrians have infiltrated Athens and plan to terrify the world. They managed to sneak into Greece by saying they were part of the Syrian bobsled team. Yes, you might say that the customs officials were "snowed." Tomorrow afternoon is when the incident will occur. All five team members will walk into the high diving arena and, just as America's top diver prepares to dive, will crunch loudly on their Chicken McNuggets. The American diver will lose his concentration and fall weakly into the water, landing with a belly flop. French and German spectators will laugh loudly, causing patriots like Tom DeLay to call for immediate sanctions. Annie Jacobson and her friend Terry, sitting in the crowd, will shake their fists at Olympic Officials for not allowing them to bring firearms into the arena. A television station in Los Angeles will interview a man named Chris V. to get local reaction to the incident. He will respond simply by shouting, "DUHHHHH!" Pete M.   Now, here's Alison, who's not just for breakfast anymore:   "Why does Athens have its afternoon so early in the morning?" Analysis : Resplendent in a floor-length gingham gown and moccasins and with her head still on backwards, Karen Dolly Hughes resumed her Linda Blair Witch Project role today as GWB's paid best friend by spewing her trademark lines, "The Iraqis have demonstrated WMD activity" and "Your mother sucks cocks in hell." She is seen here reviewing a video of the Ancient Chinese Magic Rings Trick for clues as to how to foist yet another illusion on those voters who are not yet paid to be GWB's friends. Repeating GWB'S latest assinine question as to why it is there is a time difference between Athens, Georgia and Crawford, Texas, she tries to formulate an answer without invoking those liberal heretics Copernicus and Galileo, and makes a mental note that it would be easier to just introduce Flat Earth Theory into Geography in schools. Prediction 1: On Nov 3 her son will suddenly need her to resign her friendship job and come home to him again. Prediction 2 : Just for Ted, the sun will rise again tomorrow. Alison •   This station welcomes responsible opposing views. 8:26:00 AM

A Third-Party Candidate For God, Guns, Family, the Constitution, No Abortions, and No Gays Oh, and in case Pat Robertson does get disenchanted with the GOP and Bush, here's another candidate he and God could support: Michael Peroutka, the Constitution Party candidate. Peroutka tells audiences that his campaign is divinely inspired and that his party seeks to remake the United States into a Christian state, one that no longer adheres to the separation of church and state. "This is a spiritual battle," he said. "It's fought out in culture, it's fought out in politics, it's fought out in the economy. But it's a spiritual battle. It's a question of who is lord." This is the answer that brings the loudest cheers from Peroutka's backers, many of whom say they felt abandoned this year as better-known candidates, including Pat Robertson and Pat Buchanan, who share their views on abortion, gay rights and other issues, opted not to run.  That's right, Pat was once a candidate himself -- maybe he could hold his own convention, and invite himself to speak. But back to Peroutka, whom not everybody is cheering. Some ideas at the heart of Peroutka's campaign have also drawn the attention of the Southern Poverty Law Center, a civil rights law firm that tracks hate groups. Mark Potok, editor of the center's monthly intelligence report, said his group took note when Peroutka received a rare national endorsement from the League of the South, which he describes as a coalition of hard-line, "neo-Confederates" who espouse racist, anti-gay and anti-immigrant ideas. The League of the South and the Constitution Party are "intimately related," Potok said. "About the only real differences are the Constitution Party essentially says nothing about race, at least explicitly, and it has no position on secession," the rights of Southern states to secede from the Union. Otherwise, he said, they are extremely similar. Their key issues are a fervent opposition to abortion, spirited support for gun and states' rights, and strident views about the role Christianity should be playing in American life, he said. Peroutka does not entirely dismiss Potok's assessment. A strict reading of the Constitution, he says, leads him to believe that the federal government has too much centralized power. "As a result of the War Between the States," Peroutka said in an interview, "you have a central government that tells you how much water you can have in your toilet bowl." Peroutka says his position is that "there is one race, and that is the human race."  He doesn't say anything about whether gays belong to it.  But his indirect claim not to be a racist is weakened (IMHO) by his invocation of "The War Between the States," which is frequently code for "the country went to hell once the states lost their rights to discriminate against whomever the hell they wanted."  But despite his reported good looks, charm, and willingness to spend his own money on his campign, "Peroutka was not, Phillips acknowledged, the party's initial choice to top the presidential ticket."  No, that was a loony of Biblical proportions: ex-judge Roy Moore.  Think what fun it would have been if Roy had been running! Anyway, Peroutka does bring some baggage to the campaign, for, like George Bush, he has had some problems with the law, the bottle, and with his daughters. Party leaders overlooked a trail of personal problems unearthed this year by the Baltimore City Paper, which included being stopped in the early 1990s on suspicion of driving under the influence -- he was not convicted -- and a painful split with his wife's two teenage daughters from a previous marriage. The couple lost custody of the girls to the state. Peroutka said those episodes "weren't hidden from anybody." Although some say they weaken his image as a family man, Peroutka said he "only finds it relevant insofar as I was shown the evil that occurs when the jurisdiction of the family is invaded by agencies of the state." Hmm, so it was the state's fault that he and his wife gave up her daughters to the custody of the state.  That made me curious enough to do a little Googling.  First, I found the Baltimore City Paper paper story, which does tend to make one question Peroutka's family values.  It seems that the girls' father died when they were young, and their mother married Peroutka, who never adopted them.  When they were teens (and he and their mother had 3 new, better children) there were conflicts because Peroutka didn't approve of their "immoral" behavior.   Here's what Holly, the younger daughter said, in a sworn statement given in the slander case Peroutka filed against the social services worker who handled the girls' cases (the case worker had apparently said she thought that Mrs. Peroutka was an abused wife, and so Peroutka sued her -- which is why there are public documents available concerning the matter): In the sworn statements, Holly recalled "several occasions when my stepfather would mash my face into the floor, sit on me to restrain me, push me against a wall, and pull my hair while demanding that I call myself a 'slut.'" "I believe," Holly continued, "that when my mother put me in foster care and refused to visit me or talk to me, it was because of pressure from my stepfather."    Anyway, the story is that when the elder sister, Dawn, was 14, she became convinced, after talking to her aunt and reading a book about repressed memories, that Peroutka had sexually abused her when she was younger.  When she was 17, she told her youth group and her basketball coach about the alleged abuse; she was taken to social services, which investigated the claims and found them unsubstantiated.  However, due to the allegations, Mrs. Perouka gave up her parental rights and turned Dawn over to the state in May 1992. Dawn Hubbard, once in the hands of the state, had to rely on Social Security for financial support. At first, her checks were sent to the Peroutkas' home, and Streng, in late June 1992, sent Diane Peroutka a letter asking for them. Diane Peroutka responded in writing that the money was used to pay bills, especially attorneys fees, "which have escalated far beyond the income I received for Dawn. . . . This expense was accrued because of the lies and problems caused by Dawn, and her Social Security check must pay for this."  In the summer of that year, the case record reflects that Diane Peroutka, with her husband's help and guidance, launched a letter-writing campaign. She sent approximately 1,000 letters to anyone who may have heard about Dawn Hubbard's sexual abuse allegations--the Peroutkas' friends and neighbors, for instance, as well as parents and neighbors of Dawn's schoolmates--alerting them to her daughter's mental and emotional condition and implying that her daughter might pose a threat to the community. That fall, when Dawn was hospitalized for a severe eating disorder, neither of her parents visited her. The following spring, as she was being treated by Johns Hopkins Medical psychiatrist Dr. Paul McHugh, Dawn Hubbard began to doubt the veracity of her memories of sexual abuse. By the fall of 1993, she was convinced they weren't real, but the result of a phenomenon known as false-memory syndrome. When Dawn attempted to deliver a letter to that effect to her parents, Diane Peroutka had her arrested for trespassing. Then, in November 1993, 15-year-old Holly, who suffered from learning disabilities and had a troubled relationship with her step-father, was also turned over to the state.  Once when she tried to visit her mother, the cops were called on her too. The sisters, now in their late 20s and living outside of Maryland, say they never wanted to be estranged from their mother and have tried without success to reconcile with her several times since being removed from the Peroutka household more than a decade ago. And here's part of Diane Peroutka's rebuttal of the City Paper story:  This impression you have given of my husband is absurd, outrageous, and untrue. Michael is a wonderful, devoted husband and father to our children. It was my decision as the mother of Dawn and Holly to place the girls in custody of the state. My decision to do this was in their best interest and safety. You see, when I discovered the dishonest and morally corrupt lifestyle they were living, I confronted and rebuked them. My daughters were out of control and not taking my direction. So for their own safety I made arrangements for them to live at school, with family, and/or friends. However, the girls consistently disobeyed me, and for their own protection, I relinquished custody to the Department of Social Services.  [...] This situation occurred more than 12 years ago. Both Michael and I have forgiven Dawn and Holly and we pray for their restoration. To my knowledge, your reporter made no effort to contact me and get my side of the story. It's clear to me that this article was written to try to discredit my husband as he campaigns for the presidency. I have been happily married to Michael for 18 years. I know him very well, and it is my opinion that God, Family, Republic is the perfect theme for my husband's campaign. He is a man of integrity, compassion, honor, duty, and love for his family and our Lord and Savior Jesus Christ. Whatever you say, Diane.  Now, back to the Wash Post and Michael Peroutka for our closing: "With that bit of background, let me share with you an absurd idea: We can restore the American Constitution," Peroutka tells them. "Is that absurd? Well, if it is, then there's hope for it." 7:34:13 AM

God May Be Changing His Mind About Bush Winning in a Walk  It seems that the Republican convention is dissing "some prominent evangelical Christians." NEW YORK -- Some prominent evangelical Christians say they have not been invited to participate in or attend the Republican National Convention less than three weeks before the event is to begin. [...] The Rev. Pat Robertson, founder of the Christian Coalition and a onetime Republican presidential candidate, said, "I've had no request from anybody to be there." Unlike Falwell, Robertson believes the GOP is deliberately keeping him and other evangelicals away. "In the last convention, the thought was to keep all the conservatives out of sight," said Robertson, who has attended every Republican convention since 1988, but said he won't go this year. "The general thrust will be to entice the so-called independent moderates and I am not sure that there would be much reason for a conservative to be there." Gee, and after Pat passed on those nice things God said about Bush late last year: Religious broadcaster Pat Robertson said Friday he believes God has told him President Bush will be re-elected in a "blowout" in November. "I think George Bush is going to win in a walk," Robertson said on his 700 Club program on the Virginia Beach-based Christian Broadcasting Network, which he founded. "I really believe I'm hearing from the Lord it's going to be like a blowout election in 2004. It's shaping up that way." Robertson told viewers he spent several days in prayer at the end of 2003. "The Lord has just blessed him," Robertson said of Bush. "I mean, he could make terrible mistakes and comes out of it. It doesn't make any difference what he does, good or bad, God picks him up because he's a man of prayer and God's blessing him." But back to the convention: why would the GOP want to keep Pat out of sight? [M]any evangelicals no longer look to Robertson or Falwell as their top representatives. A survey conducted last spring for the PBS program "Religion & Ethics Newsweekly" and US News & World Report found that less than half of evangelicals have a favorable view of Falwell, while only a slight majority view Robertson favorably. It seems you CAN'T fool all of the people all of the time, not even the evangelicals. And what does Jerry Falwell have to say about his failure to get an invitation to speak at the convention? Speaking yesterday on CNN, Falwell denied any rift with Bush or the Republican National Convention Committee, saying, "I just believe George Bush is as fine a president as we've had in my lifetime. I'd equate it with Ronald Reagan. . . . I'll be there. If condemning him will help him, I'll condemn him; if applauding him will help him, I'll applaud him." Falwell added: "I preach 25 times a week, so I don't need a place to preach, so I'll just say, I'll just be cheering the president. I believe in him. I think he's great. I hope he gets four more years." Yes, Jerry can use his pulpit to laud Bush 25 times a week, and to urge people to vote for him.  And he doesn't have to worry about losing his tax-exempt status for doing so, because, as he assured us last week, clergy can "speak their minds on moral issues and weigh in on politics, as long as they don't spend tax-exempt money doing it."  And if you can't trust Jerry, who can you trust? P.S. Interestingly enough,the Moonie Times version of this article doesn't include the section about how sidelining Robertson and Falwell won't hurt Karl Rove's efforts to get all evangelicals to vote for Bush this time, since many evangelicals think that Falwell and Robertson are jokes.  But I'm sure it was just due to lack of space ... 6:22:15 AM

Nice Protesters You Have There -- Be a Shame if They Were Arrested Is is legal for the FBI to question antiwar protesters prior to possible demonstrations at the Republican convention, and to let them know that they will be monitored?  Sure!  And so is torture! The unusual initiative comes after the Justice Department, in a previously undisclosed legal opinion, gave its blessing to controversial tactics used last year by the F.B.I in urging local police departments to report suspicious activity at political and antiwar demonstrations to counterterrorism squads. The F.B.I. bulletins that relayed the request for help detailed tactics used by demonstrators - everything from violent resistance to Internet fund-raising and recruitment. In an internal complaint, an F.B.I. employee charged that the bulletins improperly blurred the line between lawfully protected speech and illegal activity. But the Justice Department's Office of Legal Policy, in a five-page internal analysis obtained by The New York Times, disagreed. The office, which also made headlines in June in an opinion - since disavowed - that authorized the use of torture against terrorism suspects in some circumstances, said any First Amendment impact posed by the F.B.I.'s monitoring of the political protests was negligible and constitutional. Next time: DOJ's Office of Legal Policy okays shooting people who wear anti-Bush T-shirts.  5:44:52 AM

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And Think What This News Will Do to Ann Coulter Damn, now Annie Jacobsen is going to have to be terrified of everybody on the plane!  USA Today reports that terrorists aren't just Arabs anymore: WASHINGTON — Al-Qaeda allies are believed to be scouting U.S. targets, and the terror organization is using non-Arab recruits to avoid detection, U.S. law enforcement and intelligence officials say. [...] To avoid the intense scrutiny on travelers from certain Middle Eastern countries, al-Qaeda is believed to be using operatives from Chechnya, Bosnia and, when possible, Western Europe. Not all are Arab, and not all are men. All are thought to be Muslim, but a few have pretended to convert to Christianity to deepen their cover, the senior intelligence official said “There was a legitimate concern right after 9/11 that the face of international terrorism was basically from the Middle East. We know differently,” Ridge said. “We don't have the luxury of kidding ourselves that there is an ethnic or racial or country profile.” Michelle Malkin, I think Tom was talking to you. 5:23:13 AM