August 27, 2004 by s.z.

Swiss Family Circus Robinson Today's Cartoon  (See it here): Mommy has used the V-chip to block cartoons, children's programming, old sit-coms, the Nature Chanel, the Ambush Home Makeover From Hell Chanel, or anything that might be considered entertaining.  And the kids are grounded, and aren't allowed to color, read, or play.  So, Jeffy, Dolly, and Billy are watching the Olympic archery match.  Billy says, "I bet the Swiss won some archery medals when William Tell was alive." Analysis: Bob, the guy who's preparing to shoot, has a paper target taped on his back!  What pranksters those Olympic archery contestants are!  But sadly, the archery event will end in horror when one of the disgraced gymnastics judges brains Bob with a shot putt. But the real meaning of the cartoon has to do with this: In another flap over TV spots, the Bush campaign declined Olympics officials' call for an end to an Olympics-related ad now being run by Bush. Gerhard Heiberg of Norway, an official of the International Olympic Committee, said the IOC owns the Olympic name and had not granted permission for its use in the Bush ad. The ad shows a swimmer and the flags of Afghanistan and Iraq while an announcer says, "In 1972, there were 40 democracies in the world. Today, 120. Freedom is spreading through the world like a sunrise. And this Olympics there will be two more free nations. And two fewer terrorist regimes." Bush campaign spokesman Scott Stanzel said the campaign "is on firm legal ground to mention the Olympics to make a factual point in a political advertisement." A federal law gives the U.S. Olympic Committee full control over use of the word "Olympics" and related terms and symbols in the United States. The measure bars the organization from political activity.  So, Billy (Dubya), Dolly (Karen Hughes) and Jeffy (Karl Rove) have just been watching the new campaign spot.  They gloated about how they're above the law, and indicate that the Germans (or whatever) who are complaining about the campaign's unauthorized use of the Olympic name can just go to hell, because who the hell do they think they are, murmuring against God's annointed!  Then Billy, whose attention has been captured by the archery event, remarks that if William Tell were still around, the high-and-mighty Swiss wouldn't be so damned neutral,  Yeah, they could joini the Coalition of the Willing, help invade Iran, and win some REAL medals.  But that reminds Billy of John Kerry's medals, which makes him feel inadequate and unmanly -- until he remembers that he heard on TV that nobody in the Navy liked Kerry when he was in Vietnam, and he wasn't even wounded anyway.  So, Billy gives himself a medal for clearing brush, and is restored to good humor for the rest of the afternoon. Prediction: From that same news story: In Minnesota on Thursday, Kerry challenged the president to participate in weekly debates. Bush spokesman Steve Schmidt seemed uninterested in the idea, saying "There will be time for debates after the convention, and during the next few weeks John Kerry should take the time to finish the debates with himself." So, Keane is predicting that during the first scheduled debate in late September, a mysterious archer will fire an arrow at an apple on some kid's head.  Tom Ridge will raise the threat level to Tangelo, and the rest of the debates will be canceled due to terrorism concerns. But I'm sure this cartoon, like the entrails of an animal sacrifice or the tea leaves in the bottom of your cup, has many bits o' wisdom for those who know how to look.  What do YOU see in it? 6:09:36 AM

Friday Hamster Blogging This is my hamster, Hamster.  He popped the lid on hamster ball this evening, and was almost eaten by Jet Jaguar before I could get to him.  So, I thought I'd post his photo so you can see how cute he is, in case he's not around next week.  Oh, and Jet has gained at least a pound (he was skin and bones when I got him), and is really cute now too.  But he's teething, so watch out for him! 5:03:15 AM

This Be Teue David E.'s mother, who last sent us (via David) the Republican Convention Itinerary, is back in action.  Last time we commended her for using forwarded email for good.  However, this time, alas, the forwarded product is evil.  Here are the highlights: Sent: Monday, August 23, 2004 2:47 PM Subject: This be teue Illegal Immigrants Poem                                               I cross ocean, poor and broke, Take bus, see employment folk.                                                    Nice man treat me good in there, Say I need to see welfare. ...Welfare checks, they make you wealthy, Medicaid it keep you healthy! By and by, I got plenty money, Thanks to you, American dummy. Write to friends in motherland, Tell them 'come fast as you can.' They come in turbans and Ford trucks, I buy big house with welfare bucks ...Finally, white guy moves away, Now I buy his house, and then I say, "Find more aliens for house to rent." And in the yard I put a tent. Send for family they just trash, But they, too, draw the welfare cash! ...We have hobby it's called breeding, Welfare pay for baby feeding. American crazy! He pay all year, To keep welfare running here. We think America darn good place! Too darn good for the white man race. If they no like us, they can scram, Got lots of room in Pakistan. SEND THIS TO EVERY AMERICAN TAXPAYER YOU KNOW Because I thought this was such a charming poem, I did some research.  From this British site, I learned something about its history. POETIC INJUSTICE: ILLEGAL or the IMMIGRANT'S ODE "Illegal" of "Immigrant's Ode" is, on the face of it, a nasty racist poem which has been in circulation for at least a decade. The first version I saw was Xerox-lore i.e. photocopied and passed on. I can't recall the date, but it was many years ago and targeted Asian immigrants entering Britain. The 1980s were full of anti-Asian "jokes" and Xerox-lore such as this spread quickly. In the 1980s I worked in an Estate Agent's office (in "real estate" in American parlance) and worked with some extreme xenophobes who collected and circulated such items; this was possibly when I first saw the "Immigrant's Ode". According to older friends, its pedigree history goes back even further, with a version aimed at West Indian immigrants into Britain and possibly sung to the "Banana Boat Song". The most common version on the Internet these days, seems to be this American version dated 1993. This is probably because the USA dominates the Internet and because the poem landed some politician in a lot of trouble when he circulated it as a "joke". It was reproduced in part or in full in a number of reports. The target in this case was Mexico, reflecting the problem of illegal immigrants crossing the border in the USA. The verse is written in a stereotyped pidgin English style. According to some American friends, it is far from accurate since America lacks a welfare state akin to that in Britain. [...] More recently a version has cropped up in the USA referring to Pakistan, and the same version also appears with Australia and Canada being the country receiving the immigrants. So, the poem started in Britain, and was aimed at West Indians, and then Asians, who supposedly got rich on the state dole.  When it came to America, it was about Mexican illegal aliens. (A version which was printed in the Danville, CA Valley Citizen in 2002, resulting in numerous complaints, includes lines like: "Everything is mucho good, And soon we own the neighborhood," and "If they no like us, they can go, Got lots of room in Mexico!")  And now that we're at war with terra, the illegal aliens are from Pakistan.  It's interesting to see the shifting sands of bigotry in action. But the question on our mind is: what politican was dumb enough to circulate it?  One answer is a guy (formerly) employed by the campaign of Colorado governor Bill Owens.  Here's part of the NewsMax story on the case: Wednesday, Oct. 9, 2002 -- Offend Illegal Aliens and Lose Your Job The treasurer for Colorado Gov. Bill Owens' re-election campaign has resigned after forwarding an e-mail about lawbreaking illegal aliens exploiting America. Bob Adams said he quit his voluntary post rather than let Democrats expoit the issue, Denver newspapers reported today. [...]  Adams, however, thinks people are "hypersensitive." "Maybe it was a little insensitive, but, my goodness, I've had worse jokes sent to me by my Hispanic friends," said Adams, who is black.   Arniter Jamison, a friend of Adams' who received the e-mail, said she found it humorous and couldn't believe it was causing a stir. "People are so sick. You can't have a joke about anything anymore," she told the Post  Another such moronic politician is W.R. Bud" Harper from Arkansas.  Here are portions from a different Newsmax report: Arkansas Official Ousted Over 'Illegal Poem' W.R. "Bud" Harper, Arkansas' top emergency official, resigned under fire today after pressure groups and politicians condemned him for forwarding to his 66 employees "Illegal Poem," which has been all the rage on the Internet. "The forwarded e-mail was neither humorous nor acceptable," huffed GOP Gov. Mike Huckabee. [Harper huffed] "Whoever got concerned about this really had to reach to find something. I am very sensitive to people and I care about people. There was no intention ... to create any hard feelings." And then there was the webmaster for a Wisconsin GOP website: A racist, anti-immigrant poem that led to the resignation of a top state official in Arkansas surfaced recently on the official Web site of the Republican Party of Winnebago County. [...] [County party Chairwoman Michelle Litgens] said the Web site's content was determined by a volunteer administrator, Troy Schulz of Neenah. After reading the poem, Schulz wrote, "I can somewhat understand how certain parties could read into this and take offense at it in one way or another. However, ... whoever the original author is, they are clearly not making any sort of specific inference racially." "I feel that the author's point was most likely to make the reader aware that there are many people who do take advantage of our country's welfare systems in an unfair way. Unfortunately, a great many of those people come here illegally from other countries. This isn't a racial jab. It's a fact."  So, how did the poem get from England to America? There's an interesting claim at the message board at the Stormfront White Nationalist Community (where white supremicists can get together to chat about racial purity and such), from a poster who calls himself "FreeMyPeople": I originally edited that from a British version and sent it through cyberspace. I feel somewhat famous now, its everywhere. hehe  I wonder if those forwarding the emailed poem know that the "chain" was allegedly started by a white supremicist.  (Who, interestingly enough, is supporting Constitutional candidate Michael Peroutka, the guy also endorsed by the League of the South.) I also wonder if Southern CA talk radio host/genius Anthony Rather, who has the poem posted at his website, knows of its origins.  But of course Anthony's version has "white race" changed to "American race," to make it non-offensive. I thought about asking Anthony's sponsors what they thought of it -- until I saw that one of them was the John Birch Society.  But still, let's learn more about Anthony from his bio : Anthony Rather has built several successful multi-million dollar businesses. One, started out of his living room, was a mail order company with first year revenues of over $15,000,000. The company processed several million pieces of mail per month and operated at the very forefront of technological capability. Wow, cutting-edge junk mail techonology! Raised in Europe, Anthony speaks four languages. He is an instructor at business forums and also an author with sales of his first book reaching over 200,000 copies. He has been accepted for membership at both Mensa and Intertel (top 2% and top 1% I.Q. respectively), and his achievements have earned him numerous awards, including honorary citizenship in 16 cities across the US.  Presumably not to include Pakistan or Mexico.  Oh, and since Anthony belongs to Mensa AND Intertel, I guess this means he's got Vox Day beat. Anthony Rather is a constitutional conservative [like Vox] with firm convictions based on an objective view of reality [Vox's are more based on the Bible, football, and sci-fi novels, but still, the similiarities are astounding]. These convictions he brings to his radio show "The Anthony Rather Show." His thousands of loyal listeners appreciate his insightful commentary and his focus on what works in the real world versus irrational wishful thinking. Whether you agree or disagree with his opinions, you will nonetheless walk away entertained and informed.  Informed?  Oh, I doubt that.  But anyway, see what we've learned from a forwarded email?  Now, the next time you think of passing something like this along, you are required to do this kind of research first -- to cut down on the stupidity.  Sorry, David's Mom, but that's the law. 2:38:07 AM