June 7, 2004 by s.z.

Family Circle Prediction for Monday, June 7 The Cartoon (You can see it here): Mommy, dressed in a tight pink sweater and formfitting black slacks, has apparently just opened a letter.  Dolly, also dressed in a pink top and black slacks, says, "While I'm being the flower girl at the wedding, who's gonna be the Ring Master?" The Explanation: Mommy's brother Sauren is finally getting married, and has sent a letter (via one of the Nazgul) inviting Mommy and family to the nuptials.  He has also requested Dolly's service as a flower orc.  A curious Dolly wants to know who gets to carry the bride's wedding ring to Mordor, where the shadows lie and the ceremony is to be held.  Of course, being a child (and an idiot, and a member of a circus family ), Dolly has mixed up the phrases "Ring Bearer" and "Ringmaster."  Mommy tells Dolly that brother Billy will carry the one ring to rule them all.  What nobody predicts is that instead of giving the ring to the groom, Billy will decide to keep it -- only to be thwarted by youngest brother Gollum's act of cannibalism, and his falling into a volcano.  While this will put a damper on the festivities, the video of the incident will earn the family $1 million on "America's Funniest Home Videos."  So, it all ends happily.. Prediction: We see young Dolly wearing the same outfit as a very shapely Mommy.  This is Keane's way of predicting that gay marriage will lead to the lowering of the age of consent to 6, and that soon after we'll have child brides marrying Dumbo the Elephant in ceremonies conducted by ringmasters.   Or is that really what this cartoon foretells?  YOU make the call! 4:35:46 AM

Ben Needs Some Friends His Own Age Here's professional persecuted Christian David Limbaugh, punditing about Ben Shapiro: Ben Shapiro is my friend and fellow nationally syndicated columnist with Creators Syndicate. Ben is only twenty years old and has not only established himself as a brilliant political commentator and columnist, but has now written a book, "Brainwashed" that I hope will become a bestseller. Yes, little Bennie is quite the commentator, and everybody on the right should buy his book to reward him for being young and yet inexplicably conservative. Anyway, David interviews Ben, presumably by email -- there are no rebukes for mentioning the full title of his book, like what happened on the Ronn Owens Show: Why is the liberal bias in the classroom important? Why isn’t it just a case of open-minded education? Both sides of the story aren’t being told. From Christianity to sex to George W. Bush to the environment, universities push the leftist agenda. Conservative students have the choice to go into liberal universities, true – and I went to UCLA because a UCLA degree means something in terms of job hiring and grad school applications. Just what IS the leftist agenda concerning George W. Bush's Christian sex environment? In fact, conservatives have a good chance at getting an excellent education, because we have to teach ourselves in order to combat arguments from leftist professors. It’s really the apathetic students who feel the effects of the leftist bias. They don’t have the information or the drive to research the side they’re not getting in class. It’s much more fun to get a beer with friends than to read about the Cold War in your dorm room. But Ben told Front Page Mag, "Practically speaking, it’s much more fun to have a beer with the liberal guys and girls in your class than to argue with them and spend the evening in your dorm room browsing the Bush/Cheney 2004 website." So, apparently there are a lot of things that are more fun than being a conservative young person (and apparently, there are a couple of clever analogies that Ben likes to recycle as often as possible).  However, contrary to what you might think, Ben didn't spend all of his evenings alone in his dorm room.  He lived at home. How about sexual indoctrination on campus? There’s a reason that more and more college-age people are having numerous sexual relationships. Certain classes promote it; dorm life encourages it. Many student newspapers print explicit sex columns. At UC Berkeley, one course involved students photographing their own genitalia, then exchanging the photos and attempting to match the pictures to their owners. That course also involved forays to strip clubs. [...]. Some of the most extreme professors even justify pedophilia (Professor John Money of Johns Hopkins University and Professor Bruce Rind at Temple University) and bestiality (Professor Peter Singer of Princeton University). Ben chose to attend UCLA for the prestige, but found it so lacking in the "promoting sex" department that he had to take his examples from other schools.  Now what will his UCLA degree be worth? Student groups have become nothing more than tuition-sponsored segregationist cliques. The Muslim Student Association at UCLA supports terrorist groups like Hamas and Hizbullah. Al-Talib, the Muslim newsmagazine at UCLA, has joked about making Osama Bin Laden its editor-in-chief and about changing the name of the magazine to Al-Taliban. It seems that Ben was so busy ducking the Daily Bruin reporter who wanted to ask him about the many errors in his book that he never read the finished article, because it pointed out that, "Student groups receive funding through fees, but Nommo, TenPercent, La Gente de Aztlán and Al-Talib fall under Student Media and do not. They are also independent publications that do not serve as media outlets for student groups." So what solutions do you propose for the problem of liberal bias? [...] Long term, we need a new university system. That’s going to entail a lot of work, and a lot of cash. Conservative alumni need to take a look at where their money is going, and if they don’t like what they see, they need to pull their money. We need a Fox News university system to provide an incentive for change at the current CNN universities. I’m speaking about creating a fair and balanced university system, teaching both left and right. Oooh, Fox News University!  Sign me up for that!  We’ll also need conservative employers to stop buying the hype about major university graduates – that they’ll make great employees simply because their diploma says “UCLA” – and look at the whole picture. Someone from Hillsdale College can be much more qualified than someone from Harvard.  Well, of course they could.  After all, Ben will be attending Harvard law this fall, while Hans Zeiger attends Hillsdale -- and I'm sure Hans is every bit as qualified as Ben for a position at Fox News or The National Review Online. 3:53:49 AM

Doug's ClashPoint: He's Being Reviled, and Yet He Doesn't Feel Blessed Today's Doug Giles' sermon is another in a series about how Christians are being persecuted, as demonstrated by the fact that public stonings of adultresses are no longer permitted, the public schools don't teach kids that non-Christians are going to hell, and people are allowed to make fun of Doug.  Doug believes that this shows that liberals are hypocrites. Our nation is totally open to anyone and to anything, that is, unless, of course, you're a Christian. And if that's the case, then you're likely to get more sympathy from a badger with minimal sleep than you will from the liberal left who are hard at work making your life hard. Well, of COURSE the badger with minimal sleep will be more sympathetic to the Christian -- the badger can't read, and so is unaware of all the idiotic stuff the Christian writes for Townhall. The liberal, hypocritical, tolerant thought police of the 21st century are about as easy going with Christianity as Ike Turner was with Tina every time she went flat while belting out a high note singing “Proud Mary.” Not to strain one of Doug's pop culture metaphors, but if the "thought police" actually broke Doug's nose, cracked his ribs, and burned him with cigarettes every time one of his columns was flat, I might actually have some sympathy for his situation. The Xtreme sport of the Xtreme left is Christian-suppression, and man, are they getting good at it. Check it out: · Liberal, hypocritical, social de-constructors have effectively removed Christianity from our public schools and universities. They have completely deleted the truth concerning the massive role the Christian faith played in our Founding Fathers’ formulating this great land. And God help you if you, Christian teacher or student, attempt to re-introduce it. As the saying goes, God helps those who can read the Founding Fathers' words for themselves. · Liberal, hypocritical Hollywood-en heads routinely show Christians in television and film as cross-eyed morons who are repressed and offensive, buckle-shoed, GED killjoys sporting a 70-plus-pound Bible with a minus-70 IQ. While Doug is dedicated to showing the world that Christians are actually inoffensive, loafer-wearing geniuses. · Liberal, hypocritical activist judges, tanked up on triple espresso no-foam lattes and Al Franken-stein’s latest blog, zealously misinterpret and misapply the Constitution to rid from American government and public life, any semblance of Christian thought. They do this with masturbatory preening glee, congratulating themselves for being Titans of religious freedom … protectors of their envisioned nuevo nation. Al Franken has a new blog?  I guess it must be on some judges-only Internet. But despite Doug's cited examples, I don't find Christians all that suppressed.  I would posit that Doug means that he's being opressed, like the peasant in Monty Python and the Holy Grail,.because he's forced to live in a country with a seperation of church and state, even though he never voted for it. My ClashPoint is this: Listen, concerned Christian—even though the times are going to get tougher than Joan Rivers’ elbows before they get any better in the United States of Liberal Acrimony, we must not acquiesce. It’s time, ecclesiastically and politically, to fight the tolerance movement’s intolerance of our faith, which was the faith of our Founding Fathers and the faith that has sustained our nation’s state of blessedness. Why would Joan Rivers have tough elbows?  She's rich and very concerned about her appearance -- she probably uses the finest moisturizers available.  I would wager that her elbows are no tougher than Doug's. As Christians, we must preserve our rights and freedoms and not allow the Left to shove their Liberal doo-doo down our collective throat. This means we are going to have to get off our collective butts and intellectually fight—NOW!—against the intolerance of Christianity by the “tolerant” liberal and hypocritical Left.  So, the Christian Right has only one collective throat, but numerous collective butts.  It figures. 2:04:00 AM