November 9, 2004 by s.z.

Carnival of the Wingnuts

Their theme for this week seems to be: we won the election because God likes us better than you liberals -- and since that red/blue map shows that we now control the whole country, we're officially making it a theocracy. 

1.  First, let's hear from the King of the Wingnuts, Paul Weyrich, who's here to follow-up on his "God must be a Republican" piece of a couple of days ago by telling us about how God also helped Republican congressmen and Senators.

Then there is Jim Bunning. The Kentucky Senator, who was the only player to have pitched a no-hitter in both the American and National Leagues, seemed to have no problem being re-elected.

Because a guy who pitched no-hitters in both Leagues should automatically be given public office.

Then Bunning, whom I personally admire a great deal, began to say unusual things, such as his opponent reminded him of one of Saddam Hussein's sons. The Louisville Courier Journal, which hates Bunning because of his beliefs, suggested that perhaps the Senator had become mentally ill. [...] Bunning said he no longer watched television or read the newspapers. That did it. His support dropped like a cast-iron pancake.

I heard over and over again the day after the election from Republican officials "we knew that one was gone" and "we braced ourselves for an upset." But the Lord knew better. Bunning's wife, by the way, has been active in Operation Rescue.

So there you go!  The Lord will help even the insane and uninformed to win Senate seats, as long as their wives harrass the women trying to get into abortion clinics.

But what about Pete Coors, who didn't win his election? 

I fear God was not in this race as much as others although Pete Coors is 100% pro-life. Hopefully he learned something from this campaign.

Yeah, he probably learned that God only helps crazy, stupid people with wingnut wives. 

2.  Doug Hagin claims that Bush's overwhelming victory over Kerry means that the country  "chose traditional values over moral relativism and the 'if it feels good do it' mentality. " [That was Initiative 58.]  Therefore, Democrats should be excluded from this nation, because they will only slow down the overwhelming 51% of us who don't do it if it feels good!

The question for the Republicans is equally important for their future. They can, on one hand, look at the results and see that America has accepted Republican ideals and expects the Republicans to go forward with their agenda. The other option for the Republicans is to reach out and attempt to unite the nation. This strategy will only prevent them from doing the things they campaigned on. The Republicans have won, now they must lead.

And the Democrats lost, so they must become Republicans or die!

3. Curtis Dahlgren is still looking up words in his trusty old dictionary and thinking this proves something. 

The editorial page editor of the Milwaukee Journal-Sentinel says that the election outcome was "counter-intuitive" — which is journalistic group-speak for "un-bleeping-believable!" He said last Saturday that the Bush campaign was "just one big Willie Horton ad, preying on fears and an unfortunately abundant tendency in this country to mistake righteous indignation for values."

I hate to be the one to have to break the news to him, but my trusty '38 Funk & Wagnalls would probably agree that "righteous indignation" is indeed a "value," and I've been hearing Academia saying that "We must not make value judgments," period (for the past half century), so it's NO WONDER that at least 51 percent of the voters are righteously indignant.

So, wait, the 38 F&W would PROBABLY agree?  So Curtis didn't even check, and he's somehow still evoking an outdated dictionary's moral authority to define values for us?  This seems like the kind of shiftless, lack-of-moral-fiber laziness that we all voted against in last week's election!

They're still indignant about lefty politicians sucking the brains out of unborn babies and young White House interns.

Um, right.  Let's just move along.

4.  Cliff Kincaid, who is "President of America’s Survival," writes about how Bush could have won even more votes than that overwhelming 51% if he had just run on an anti-gay, pro-ovum platform.

It’s hard to argue with success, but the election results indicate that if President Bush and the Republicans had taken a tougher line against the moral pollution of our culture, they would have won by an even larger margin. The passage of anti-homosexual marriage amendments in 11 states—by margins as high as 86 percent and no lower than 57 percent—demonstrates the conservative cultural trend that is now dominant throughout the country. Yet Bush, who opposes homosexual marriage, only captured 51 percent of the national vote.

So, the people would have given a strict moralist like Osama bin Laden even more votes than a guy like Bush, because the only issues that matter with them are anti-homosexual values. 

5.  "JB Williams is a business man, a husband, a father, and a writer. A no nonsense commentator on American politics, American history, and American philosophy. A hard hitting columnist, attacking the socialist cancer plaguing America today. He has a pragmatic 'common Joe' approach to even the toughest issues facing our nation."

Today this common Joe contributes a pragmatic, anti-cancer column entitled "Patriots 51…Socialists 48."

A secular nation replaces moral and ethical values with the concept of an open society whereby all ideals, no matter how immoral, no matter how perverted, have equal merit and Rights. Idea’s like Gay Marriage, Pedophilia and Bestiality are given equal status with traditional family values.

You know, like how in secular France (or in the Godless former USSR), pedophilia is (or was) given equal status with motherhood and apple pie ... I mean quiche (or vodka).

In a secular nation, murder is no problem, but on November 2nd, 2004, “we the people” proved that America is not yet a secular nation.

I'm moving to Canda so I can kill some people without any problem!

America’s moral majority took a stand, drew a line in the sand, and said this is the point at which the march towards secularism and socialism stops in our country. Our country is divided, 51 to 48, right down the line that separates morality from immorality. We know where the secular socialists live, in all the little blue counties on that election map. Our goal between now and 2008 must be to turn those blue counties red.

Red with the blood of those who refuse to accept our moral, patriotic mandate!

On November 2nd, 2004, George W. Bush received more votes than any Presidential candidate in U.S. history, more than Reagan, and he was the first President to receive a clear majority of the peoples support since his father did in 1988.

And on November 2nd, 2004, John Kerry also received more votes than Reagan.  Which must mean that Reagan was a card-carrying commie.

6.  Now let's welcome long-time favorite Jan Ireland, with another screed about the mainstream media.

John Kerry was a lying candidate, a two-faced fool, and the pre-nup bound poodle of a billionaire harridan. He benefited from many millions of dollars from billionaire leftist George Soros, and more millions from various 527 "non-partisan" groups.

But Old Media focused on none of this.

Yeah, if there's one area where the media really let us down this season, it was in failing to focus on Kerry being a poodle.

7.  And last but not least, here's a new wingnut friend with a familiar last name: Ryan Dobson.  Reader Paul B. discovered him. (Thanks, Paul!)   

Christian author and speaker, Ryan Dobson, calls himself totally, radically intolerant, and he’s calling on other Christians to be the same way. In fact, the title of his new book is Be Intolerant Because Some Things Are Just Stupid. Dobson joined Lee Webb on The 700 Club recently to discuss his belief that Christians have become too tolerant in today's society.

Disobedient children aren't being stoned, witches are being allowed to live, and menstruating women are permitted to mingle freely in society, all because Christians are just too darned tolerant these days. 

LEE WEBB: I’m sure a lot of folks are wondering with a last name like Dobson if you’re related to Dr. James Dobson, founder of Focus on the Family. And indeed you’re his son. So you come by your passion for culture and Christianity naturally I guess.

Ryan Dobson: Absolutely. It was easy to fall into this role. In fact, I’m at Focus on the Family today doing the satellite feed from there, so it’s nice to be among friends.

LEE WEBB: Well, you certainly found a provocative title for your book. Is it your contention that Christians have been too tolerant?

Ryan Dobson: Absolutely. And Christians are the only ones asked to be tolerant in this culture. The homosexuals are not asked to be tolerant. Only Christians are asked to put aside their views, put aside their opinions, not speak up, not stand out. We’re asked to sit back and take a back seat to the rest of the culture. And it’s time that we stood up for what we believe in.  

Yeah!  Homosexuals aren't asked to be tolerant, they're just asked not to live in certain counties in Tennessee (or to want to get married).  It's always the CHRISTIANS who have to be tolerant, and put up with stuff like ridingin airplanes with Muslims who change their seats and use the restroom.  But Ryan is mad as heck and he's not going to take it anymore!  And if you don't agree with him, you're going to hell.

LEE WEBB: Well, let me give you a chance to demonstrate your intolerance, if you will. I want to show you and our viewers, comments made by folks we’ve seen in the news in recent months. The first comment comes from Reverend Joan Campbell Brown, former head of the National Council of Churches. Our reporter asked her if she believes that it’s only through the person and work of Jesus Christ that one can have eternal life. Let’s take a look at what she had to say.

Joan Campbell Brown: For me, the way to God, the way to peace is through Jesus Christ. That’s what I teach my children. That’s what I teach my grandchildren. And I believe that very, very strongly. But I also believe that for others there is a way that for them is true and precious. And I don’t deny them that reality, and I respect that.

LEE WEBB: All right, Ryan. How would you respond to her?

Ryan Dobson: Lee, I hear this thing so often. Someone says, "I believe this very strongly for myself, just not for anybody else." I really believe they don’t believe it strongly for themselves. I believe that Jesus Christ is the only way to Heaven. I believe it strongly for myself. I believe it for everybody else, too. And I tell people, "If you don’t believe that you’re going to go to hell."

Anybody want to place bets on when Ryan comes out of the closet, announces that he's become a Moonie, and writes a tell-all book about his Dad?

6:28:45 AM