Who Said It?Yes, our last mystery guest (the one who said that while not all Democrats are on welfare, all people on welfare are Democrats) was the girl who made Objectivism zany, Amber Pawlik. Now, who said this (and of whom were they speaking, and to whom)?
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If They Didn't Have Flippable Hair, They'd Be Writing For 'The Rant'I think I caught Lileks' cold. I swear, he just claims to have these ailments so I can't report all my symptoms to you (because after reading how pathetic it makes one sound, it kind of kills the urge to share). But in any case, today's post will be a gimmee. We'll consider the latest columns by people who are really easy to make fun of: Ann Coulter and Michelle Malkin. Plus, the latest boobie news. ***** Ann's column, "Olbermann Can Count Down, But Can He Count Up?" is an infomercial about Michael Barone's Congressional Almanac. Since you are all busy people with things to do (and pies to bake), here's a condensed version:
Now, if Ann doesn't get a gig at U.S. News and World Report, it won't be because she hasn't doen her best to suck up to Barone. In other Ann news, our friend David E. reported that ol' Manhands was a guest on a recent ep of "Real Time with Bill Maher." We found the transcript and selected what we feel are the highlights:
See, Belzer had just said something about Ann looking like she'd had some work done,which is the EXACT SAME THING that Osama said about her at their last meeting!
Because if Georgie HAD tried to take some action without Karen Hughes there to advise him, the possibilities are that he would have (a) run around the school like a puppy; or, (b) gotten drunk and then wet himself. So, Ann is probably right that he did us all a favor by just continuing to discuss goat-related program activities with the kids.
Yeah! Because back in Reagan's day, when women couldn't vote, you wouldn't have seen a President wasting his time having a photo op with kids! Back then, Presidents just pledged to build expensive technology from out of George Lucas movies, and thus won both the Cold War and the votes of all male citizens. It was a more manly age, and so Ann felt more at home. But, as David E. says, "Anyway, that's all setup. What I found most interesting is that Ann was wearing a cross around her neck. And it didn't seem to be burning her flesh." Ba-bing! ***** Our next guest is the loveless and talent-free Michelle Malkin, whose column this week is about how if the media loves Democratic minorities so much, why doesn't it marry them? Think of poor Michelle -- she's a minority, but you never see Andrea Mitchell calling HER a rising star. And that's just so unfair! Oh, and the media has also largely ignored a couple of elected Republican minorities who didn't give stirring speeches at a national convention this year. Well, they weren't exactly ignored, but the point is: when will it be Michelle's turn to be the pretty one?
Of course, in reality (which isn't where Michelle lives), every story about Obama's background mentions his white mother. But (IMHO) what Michelle is REALLY saying is: undercredited white people do all the real work around here, while those much-touted black people just abandon their families and leave the country, proving that white people are so much better than all other people that we should just leave all the governing to them. And Obama is basically white anyway, so he shouldn't get credit for being a minority. And hey, media, if you admire Obama, then, under law, you have to admire these these Republican officials too, because they are also minorities. That's how it works, right?
Any guy who carries a concealed weapon is okay in Michelle's book! Now, if he'd only shoot some people while they try to sneak over the border, Michelle would have an orgasm on the spot.
As Media Matters points out, what Cohen really wrote (in a passage that admiringly pointed out Jindal's many accompishments) was "At the age of 32, he has an almost freakishly impressive resume." But if the NY Times isn't writing glowing editorials about Michelle, then it proves that the media is biased against Republican miniorities. ***** And speaking of boobs, here's a story about how you can get bigger breasts for a day via saline injections (you know, in case you anticipate being Tara Reid and having your dress fall off in public). But after seeing those photos (courtesy of Frederick, who runs the BeatBushBlog when not alerting people to these kinds of photos), I have to say that the saline injection method would probably have been a better bet for Tara than the cut-rate surgery she underwent. Like the NY Post said:
Poor Tara. She is NEVER going to get to be Queen of England unless she starts getting better press. 3:29:03 AM |
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