October 18, 2004 by s.z.

Twin Blogging

 

NotJenna and Jenna are back to blogging. 

 

That is, the Bush-Cheney employee whom we've come to know and love (the one who writes like a campaign staffer trying to write like an 8th-grade girl) is back!  So, on with some highlights.

 

October 8, 2004 
Barbara and Jenna's Journal: Looking Back on the First Debate

 

After a busy week campaigning, we headed down south to Miami for the first Presidential Debate. This was actually our first debate ever to attend, so we were really excited about being a part of it all and cheering on our Dad.

Cuz debates R COOL!  Or course, we didn't really get to CHEER for our Dad, since that old guy said we had to be quiet, but we were there for it.  We even listened, after our GameBoy broke.

Before the debate, we joined Gen. Tommy Franks, Sec. Mel Martinez (hopefully, soon to be SENATOR Martinez), Mayor Rudy Giuliani and RNC Chairman Ed Gillespie at a Debate Watch Party. This group is obviously quite impressive, and at first we were slightly intimidated. But all of these men are not only great leaders, but also smart, warm and funny.

So then we weren't intimidated, because we're the President's daughters, which outranks being smart, warm, and funny.  Besides, most of these guys work for our Dad, so they're just the hired help.

We talked baseball with Mayor Giuliani, and talked about Texas with Gen. Franks (who went to the same high school as our Mom).

Yeah, we talked "baseball" with Giuliani, in that he wanted to know if it's true that we go to third base on the first date.  He's such a perv!

 

Franks told us to tell our Mom that he still has that "evidence" about her "traffic accident," so she'd better make sure our Dad doesn't try to "hang him out to dry."  We don't know that that means -- it's probably one of those stupid inside jokes that old people are always telling. 

Mrs. Franks later told us that Gen. Franks clapped every time we said “y’all” during our remarks to the crowd!

That Mrs. Franks is such a suck-up!  I guess she thinks her husband's job is in jeopardy too.

We spoke to a crowd of almost 1,000 people who were really excited to come out and support our Dad. It was great to be in a room full of so many supporters!

1,000 people is, like, most of the people in Florida, so we know that our Dad will win in this state.  Anyway, Uncle Jeb said he's taken care of it -- something about keeping the wrong people from voting or something.

After the Debate Party, we headed over to the University of Miami to watch the debate. On our way there, we drove by lots of Bush-Cheney supporters who were waving signs and cheering. We even saw a couple of people dressed up as flip-flops!

We laughed and laughed at them, because they looked like such dorks!

We honked our horn and waved at everyone as we went by.

And we stuck out our tongues at some of them, and made other jump to avoid being hit as we aimed the car at them.  Ah, good times!

When we arrived at the debate site, we were slightly nervous, while our Dad was not at all nervous. We joined our parents in a hold room and our Dad seemed confident and was excited for the debate. We have to admit we were slightly shocked at how at ease he was – while we could sense he knew how serious this debate was, he managed to joke and make us laugh before we had to go out into the audience.

That could have been because of those pills that Mr. Rove gave to our Dad about an hour before the debate.  He is always giving our Dad pills.  We were kind of embarassed when they wore off or something, and our Dad started slouching and scowling.  He usually just makes his "I hate you all so very much" face around his staff, who can't talk or else, so this was so uncool.  We told Mr. Rove that he needed to make our Dad look less stupid from now on or we wouldn't be seen in public with him.  He said he'd give Dad double the dosage next time.

We were seated next to Sen. John McCain who assured us that our Dad would do awesome – and he did!

Sen. John McCain thinks our Dad is the most awesome guy ever -- much more awesome than John Kerry, who isn't awesome at all.  Sen. McCain only pretends to like John Kerry because they were, like, in the same war together or something, but he is really on our Dad's side.  He knows that if he doesn't support our Dad, his life isn't worth a plugged nickle.  At least, that's what Mr. Rove says.

We were so proud of his strong ideas and his ability to stand up for the extremely difficult decisions he’s had to make since Sept. 11.

Like he told us, anyone can make stupid decisions, but it's the mark of a real leader to stand up for them when everybody KNOWS they were stupid.

We may be slightly biased, but there is no doubt in our minds who won the first debate.

Yeah, we're slightly biased in favor of our Dad, since he told us that if he loses this election our allowances are cut off, but we still have no doubt that John Kerry won the debate.  Geez, we might be blondes (more or less), but we're not STUPID.

Once Dad finished the debate, we returned to the Debate Watch Party with our parents (who stayed up past their normal bedtime to attend), our Uncle Jeb and cousin Jebby. (With the debate being in Miami, we were able to be with family.)

Our family pretty much owns Florida, like we do much of Maine and Texas.  It's like we're princesses here!  Uncle Jeb told us we could commit one free felony, in honor of our Dad's debate, while we were in town.  We're not telling you what we did!  ;-)

We will be back on the road soon, so check back later for our next entry.

Will do, girls, since we think the new ghostwriter is on a roll.

 

Barbara and Jenna's Journal: Hurricane Relief in Florida

We woke up to a beautiful day in Miami and prepared to travel with our Mom. It was the first day we both have traveled with her, so we were definitely excited.

Definitely to the max!

Also, we knew it would be an inspirational, moving day because we were visiting people in Florida who had been affected by the terrible damage of Hurricanes Ivan and Jeanne.

And it's so inspirational and stuff to see victims of natural disasters -- they are almost as much fun to look at as poor people! 

We flew from Miami to Vero Beach. First, we visited the Vero Beach Emergency Operations Center. As we walked around this complex, we were all so absolutely astonished. We met tons of people who have literally been working 24 hours a day for the last couple of weeks to help with the hurricane relief efforts.

Yes, we met tons of people who have been literally working 24 hours a day for two weeks straight.  Isn't it awesome that these people haven't slept in two weeks!

These workers were tired, but they are continuing their great work – and some are even volunteers!

After two straight weeks of 24-hour work days, you'd be tired too, even if you were a volunteer!  Of course, the national guard could have relieved them, if so many of its members weren't in Iraq.  Like our Dad said: after the war is won, they'll be plenty of time to help American victims of national disasters, because freedom is on the march, and it's God's gift to the world! 

Next we went to the Vero Beach Disaster Relief Distribution in the local mall parking lot. We all split up and got into groups to help distribute food, ice and bottled water to families in need.

Our personal group went to help families inside the mall.  We didn't find any, so we went shopping and bought some cute new tops.  Like our Dad said: aiding the economy by buying stuff is the best kind of helping.

It was really inspirational to see the citizens of Vero Beach working together. As cliché and cheesy as it might sound, it really did make us proud to be Americans.

'Cause you can bet that French people or Canadians never would have worked together!  Maybe the Poles would have, though.  Our Dad says they are almost as good as Brits, even though there are only, like, 50 of them.

Finally, our favorite – and most moving – part of the day (maybe because babies were involved) was spent at the Red Cross Disaster Relief Center. This center is filled with countless volunteers, who, like the others we had met earlier, have been working tirelessly to get relief to families in need.

 

We met a lot of families who were forced to move out of their damaged homes and apartments – and many needed food and water. There were a lot of young mothers and their children – and it was obvious that these young children were incredibly shaken up by the TWO hurricanes that hit their hometown.

Who would have believed that little kids and babies would have been bothered by TWO hurricanes hitting their hometown???  It's a good thing that there are countless Red Cross volunteers to, like, give them relief.  We think that helping babies is awesome, and when we grow up, we are going to work with children with AIDS by teaching them to read, and helping them to coordinate their accessories and stuff.

To say that our day was meaningful would be giving it little justice – it was an awesome experience and one that we will never forget.

It was like the most moving and inspirational day ever, and we will remember it for as long as we can. 

 

 In other twin news, we learn from the Telegraph that their favorite TV show is ... "The OC"!

Probably the last thing Josh Schwartz imagined when he created his sultry soap about rich, young Californians was that it would one day be cited by the United States President's twin daughters as their must-see show.

 

In a pre-election interview with People magazine, Jenna and Barbara Bush, 22, admit that The OC is the programme they always watch - or record if something really big forces them to miss it (such as their father making a speech on another channel).

Or they record their Dad.  It's not like they've never heard him give a speech before!

It's no small endorsement, given the coverage allotted to anything uttered by the Bush clan at this point. But significantly, when Jenna admitted being a fan, she added: "I hate to say it."

This may be because The OC - which Schwartz calls a "soapedy" - is distinctive chiefly for its ultra-glamorous young cast of 16- and 17-year-old high school students who seem to change partners and designer clothes with almost clockwork regularity.

Well, no wonder the twins like it -- it's like it's about them! Especially the part about the cool clothes.  Oh, and the 16-17 year old part too

This recipe of sex and conspicuous consumption has a proven record for travelling well and is now becoming cult viewing among students and schoolchildren in Britain.

Didn't the twins Dad say, "Conspicuous consumption is the Almighty's gift to the world"?   If not, I bet he thought it.

2:37:44 AM