October 8, 2004 by s.z.

Nuts From All Over

Like "Carnival of the Wingnuts," only classier.

1.  First, let's hear from Dick Morris, whose lastest column is entitled "Edwards was a Deer in the Headlights."  It's about the Veep debates. 

But wait!  "Why should we care what Dick says?" you ask.

Well, he explains why in his bio:

Dick Morris was an adviser to Bill Clinton for 20 years.

And he advised Clinton while sucking on a prostitute's toe.  You can't get any more qualified to pundit about politics than that.

Oh, and he was "Called 'the most influential private citizen in America' by Time Magazine," presumably 12 or so years ago.  Therefore, we have to listen to him, even though he's obviously crazy.  So, I don't want to hear any more backtalk from you!

Cheney looked like a man and Edwards looked like a boy.

On the attack, the North Carolina senator to this observer seemed, surprisingly, to be a shallow lightweight, almost transparent in his absence of heft and gravitas. Cheney looked like the authority, the wise one, the arbiter of facts and statistics.  

Yes, the guy who looks older, fatter, and balder must win the debate because of all that gravitas.  Newton's first law says so.

The highlight of the debate came when Cheney said he had presided over the Senate as vice president on almost every Tuesday and noted that the first time he met John Edwards was last night.

Main Entry: grav·i·tasEtymology: Latin
Date: 1924
: heaviness, boringness, appearance of dignity while lying through one's teeth.

I find it interesting that the "I never met you before tonight" fabrication was chosen as the highlight of the debate by so many right-wing pundits.  Somebody should write a dissertation explaining what that says about them.

2.  Now, here's Ed Vitagliano, with a piece called "Will the Rainbow Bus Take Our Kids to the Land of Diversity?" 

Transvestite teachers. Boys kissing boys in restrooms. Teens taught about anal sex. "Gay" fairy tales for children. Could these things actually become a reality in our public schools? 

Ed says they can, because of relentless homosexual activists who  apparently campaign for all of these things, including letting boys use restrooms with other boys, which could lead to young men finding each other attractive.  This kind of thing has got to stop now if we don't want civilization to collapse!

But wait, there's worse!  

In some schools, where students have been steadily fed homosexual propaganda for years, it is sometimes classmates, and not school officials, who assume the role of persecutors. One woman, whose family had moved from the South to New Hampshire, said her boys were shocked at how they were received.

"My 16-year-old son had to deal with unwanted advances from other male students," she said. When she approached school officials to try to put a stop to the harassment by homosexuals, they refused. "[W]hat happened was the students found out that my 16- and 17-year-old boys were against homosexuality so they were taunted constantly and treated as if they were gay."

What kind of a topsy-turvy world do we live in, where straight kids can be taunted just like gay ones?

Fortunately, while the groundwork for these changes has been laid, it is not yet a done deal. But Americans who believe there is something inherently abnormal, unnatural and immoral about homosexuality had better stand up right now.

If the public schools are lost to homosexual activists, our children and grandchildren will be thrown into a queer new world. And there's nothing gay about that.

So, you've been warned. Start fighting now, or your kids and grandkids will have to live in a world with gay people.

BTW, Ed Vitagliano is the news editior of Donald Wildmon's American Family Association Journal.  And not only does this month's issue of the Journal feature the piece about the Rainbow Bus, it also has an article about the need to push the FMA so that the gays don't destroy marriage (fighting the insidiuous homosexual agenda is a big part of the AFA platform).

Will traditional marriage survive for another year? Two years? Five? The answer may very well be determined by the outcome of the federal and state elections taking place November 2. 

So, all of you married people out there should be worried, because marriage might not be around in another year if the wrong people are elected next month.   And you might have to use same-sex restrooms!  It truly will be a scary future.

3.  Jim Untershine over at MensNewsDaily is also asking a question in the title of his column.  "Is Child Support Peaking your Interest?" he demands.  Personally, I'm always interested in articles that misuse words in their titles, so let's hear a bit from Jim.

Of all the ‘deadbeats’ that are accused of driving our national child support arrearage up to $84 billion - paternity fraud victims are the heterosexual men who dare to have sex with liars, who are expected and encouraged to refuse to allow crime to pay and their employers are scorned for withholding it. 

Jim, instead of bravely having sex with liars, maybe these heterosexual men (AKA paternity fraud victims) should consider being a bit more cautious about whom they bed.  Yeah, it's a radical idea, but it just might work!

The term deadbeat has recently been expanded to include breadwinning parents who are put out of a job due to extraordinary child support garnishments, which makes living and formal employment mutually exclusive.

Wow, what a dilemma!  Still, I recommend that Jim choose "formal employment" over "living."  

I would like to propose another expansion of the term to include agencies that are paid by the US taxpayers to support a State’s families and children, then actively proceed to impoverish them, rob them, provoke violence between them, make them beg for mercy, imprison them, and give the surviving kids to the homos.  

Jim (who tells a sad tale of how a one-night stand resulted in him being ordered to pay out more than he's projected to earn, what with the child support payments, back payments, penalties, and such) would get more of my sympathy if he didn't write such stupid columns.

4.  And speaking of people who just aren't as sympathetic as they think they are, Rush Limbaugh talks about the recent Florida ruling that said it was okay for the authorities to seize his medical records with a search warrant:

I want to remind everybody: I have not been charged with anything.

That's because the records are still sealed until the next appeal is ruled upon.  Legally, he's innocent until proven guilty, of course -- but morally, he's guilty as sin.

This was a fishing expedition from the outset to see if there was anything they could find to charge me with, and so this next stage is a continuation of the appeal process.

That's pretty much how an investigation proceeds: if it looks like a crime may have been committed, the police gather evidence, and the D.A.'s office evaluates whether it is sufficient to charge anyone with the crime.  So, I guess every investigation is a "fishing expedition" to Rush.

A cop pulls you over. You say, 'What did I do, officer, speeding, taillight out, what?' And the officer says, 'I don't know yet. Just let me rifle through your car, open the trunk and the glove box. If I find something, I'll let you know.' That's the effect of this ruling today. Not just on me, but on everybody in Florida.

Well, to be more accurate, your maid and her husband, who claim to have been your drug dealers for a couple of years, give the police documents and tape recordings which seem to indicate that they are telling the truth about your involvement in illegal drug sales.  You admit publicly that you are a drug addict.  Bank records show you have withdrawn large sums of money in such a way as to avoid reporting procedures, breaking money laundering laws.  So, the police go to a judge and get a warrant to search your car and to confiscate the medical records which might show that you are getting drugs illegally.  Then they rifle through your car, trunk, and glove box and take the records contained therein.  (These records reportedly show that you had multiple prescriptions from different doctors for large quantities of narcotics, which is why you don't want them being used as evidence.) 

Yup, this is something that effects everyone in Florida, and it's obvious that Rush is only fighting this ruling because he's trying to look out for everyone else's First Amendment rights.

5.  And speaking of big, tough blowhards with surprisingly thin skin, here's part of the "O'Reilly Factor" transcript of Bill's rematch with Terry Gross (it's from a couple of weeks ago, but I just saw it):

GROSS: ... Bill, you pride yourself on being the toughest interviewer on TV.

O'REILLY: Yeah.

GROSS: When somebody declines coming on your show, you say that they're a coward...

O'REILLY: Yeah, they get mocked.

GROSS: ... because they can't face your tough questions. And to think that you couldn't stand up to my slightly...

O'REILLY: I stood up to you.

GROSS: ... all five feet of me...

O'REILLY: Believe me, I stood up to you for 50 minutes. But here's, here's what you did wrong...

GROSS: ... you didn't even want to answer the questions.

O'REILLY: No, I'm not going to...

GROSS: You ended the interview and you walked out.

[...]

O'REILLY: For 50 minutes, you read his ["smear-meister" Al Franken's]  book and every other critic against me and said, "What about the..."  It would be like me saying this...

GROSS: It wasn't that way at all.

O'REILLY: "Hey, Terry, why did you commit this crime? Hey, Terry, why did that person say something bad about you?"  That's not fair. Go ahead.

GROSS: OK. What you're doing right now in just kind of saying these things to me, is what I didn't do when you were on my show. I read a few quotes to you. I gave you a chance to say what you wanted to say. You would have had even more time to say more than that, except that you left before the interview was over.

But see, Terry Gross is really intimidating, loud, and rude -- never giving her guests a chance to speak, and always cutting their mics and telling them to shut up.  However, Bill is a polite, soft-spoken, scrupulously fair guy -- which is why Terry lasted through the whole interview on his show, while he was forced to walk out of hers.  I wonder why so many people refuse to do his show. 

6.  Here's a recent entry from the Bush Twins' Blog.  Sadly, it seems that the girls' writing isn't as awesome and incredible as it used to be.  I guess that campaign staffer got fired, and the replacement doesn't have the knack of writing like hip teens, and so must content himself with writing the way a nice, shallow Republican woman might.

Oct. 6

Barbara and Jenna's Journal: Tales from the Road in New Hampshire

We started off our week flying from Washington, DC to meet our grandmother at her house in Kennebunkport, Maine – this is where we spent every summer of our lives.

We joined Ganny, as we call her, on a tour of a hospital in Exeter, NH where we talked to several staff and doctors in the maternity ward.

The idea of calling the senior Barbara Bush "Ganny" is too incongruous for words.

They told us about the importance of medical liability reform so that doctors can continue to give patients the care they need, especially in rural areas.

"They told us that if Kerry wins the election, then doctors will no longer be able to treat patients in rural areas because the mean trial lawyers will take all their money -- and doctors aren't allowed to treat people if they can't make lots of money doing so.  Also, the insurance companies will have to give some of their money to people who were hurt by incompetent doctors, and the insurance companies don't like that, so they want our Dad to win too.  

"The people on the tour also told us that if Kerry wins, and he and Edwards keep their promise to import drugs form Canada and get the government to bargain with drug companies to get lower prices for Medicare patients, then the drug companies won't invent any new drugs, and little kids will die.  It will all be so sad.  You have to vote for our Dad, or rural people and little kids will die, and it will all be your fault." 

After visiting with a mother and her newborn, we concluded our visit and headed over to the Exeter Town Hall for a rally with Bush-Cheney '04 supporters and volunteers.

We were met by Denise Benson, Governor Benson’s wife, and then introduced our grandmother. Ganny spoke to the crowd and got a lot of cheers and laughs for her stories!

"Everybody loves our Ganny!  Or else she has them killed." 

Here's part of a newspaper report about her talk:

Bush said that as the president’s mother she preferred to not pay attention to the media, which she feels has a liberal bias.

Comparing following campaign coverage to watching the reality television show "Fear Factor," she said she would rather "eat bugs" than watch liberal news anchors. She paused after rattling off a few that came to mind – including Peter Jennings, of ABC, and Judy Woodruff, of CNN – and asked if she had left anyone out. The crowd instantly shouted Dan Rather, the embattled CBS anchor.

"If I had my way I would take a page out of Donald Trump’s book," she said, referring to "The Apprentice," the NBC reality show where a contestant is eliminated each episode. "And I know exactly who I would fire."

"Our Ganny is such a hoot!  No wonder our Dad is scared to death of her!"

After the program, we walked down to the crowd and signed autographs, shook hands and had some pictures taken with some of the people attending the rally. Despite the rain outside, everyone was excited and enthusiastic to be there in support of our Dad.

"He's like the best President Dad ever -- no wonder everyone wants him to win!"

After the rally, we drove back to Kennebunkport and got to spend the night eating, talking and laughing with our grandmother and grandfather.

"And then, after they fell asleep, we slipped out the back door and hit a couple of bars in Exeter.  The vodka martinis were great!  The people in the bar were really excited and enthusiastic about supporting our Dad, especially after we told them we'd take off our tops if they would vote for him.  It was a super nice evening. "

Next time: the twins tell about their rumble with the Kerry daughters.

4:54:00 AM