October 7, 2004 by s.z.

Non-Townhall Fun Neil at I'm Just Sayin' has come up with some nifty audio-visual material (or "videos," as the kids call them today) for your enjoyment, such as the Veep Heart Attack Ad and This or That?   If your boss is gone and you are trying to avoid work, you should check them out. 5:28:00 AM

Townhall Review: Manly, Gravitas-Reeking Dick Cheney Beaten Up By Pretty Boy John Edwards The Hallers tell you what you should think about the V.P. debate: that ol' man Cheney taught that young whippersnapper Edwards a thing or two.  Those thing being  (a) that Cheney is a liar, and (b) that saying "Halliburton" to Cheney will cause the same reaction that Steve Martin had to the mention of "cleaning woman" in Dead Men Don't Wear Plaid.  Yes, lying is what separates the men from the boys, and Cheney is a past master -- except for how he lied about stupid stuff and was quickly caught in his lies.  But other than that, Dick did a wonderful job, and demonstrated what the current administration is all about: lying. Linda Chavez Linda picks her favorite debate moment: It was the defining moment of the vice-presidential debate: CEO Dick Cheney took the upstart junior exec John Edwards to the woodshed.  […] "You've got one of the worst attendance records in the United States Senate." Well, before he said that, he said, "Your hometown newspaper has taken to calling you 'Senator Gone.'"  Which isn't true, of course. In a 2003 editorial, the county weekly paper said that is Edwards was "becoming known as 'Senator Gone.''"  The paper also included a response from Edwards' people which said Edwards had a much better record of attending votes than did other presidential candidates in the Senate, and didn't miss close votes where his absence could make a difference. And here's what that editorial writer said about Cheney's citation: Bouser pointed out that The Pilot never itself called Edwards "Senator Gone." Specifically, the editorial said that Edwards "is becoming known as 'Senator Gone.'" "I don't think it was at all accurate to say we have 'taken to calling' the senator anything," Bouser said. Hey, I hear that Cheney's hometown blogger* has taken to calling Cheney, "Vice President Pants on Fire." So, I guess it WAS the defining moment of the debate: the moment that showed Dick Cheney as a guy who gets so riled up whenever anybody mentions Halliburton that he either resorts to foul language or stupid lies.  Is THIS the guy whom we want baby-sitting an impressionable young mind like George's? But back to Linda's world: And now you think you deserve my job, you could almost hear Cheney thinking.  "And you can't have my job," you could almost hear Cheney thinking, "because I'll kill you before I step down.  I'll kill all of you!  I hate you all so very much for knowing about my Halliburton shame, and I'll make you pay -- just wait and see!"  It was an another great moment. *Dick Cheney was born in Lincoln, Nebraska.  A couple of years ago, I ate dinner at the Lincoln Applebee's and stayed overnight in the Lincoln Econolodge.  Under the Dick Cheney rules, this qualifies me as Dick's hometown blogger. Joel Mowbray Oddly enough, Joel picks the same favorite moment: The GOP high point, however, appeared to come a little later when Cheney found a powerful, personal way to exploit the obvious Senate absences of two men running for the White House: “I’m up in the Senate most Tuesdays when they’re in session, [and] the first time I ever met you was when you walked on the stage tonight.”  And, as everyone who can read now knows, it turns out the Cheney has only presided over the Senate twice in the past four years -- the same number of times as Edwards.  And Cheney has met Edwards at least three times before Tuesday night.  Vice President Pants on Fire strikes again!  And that was the GOP high point?   I guess they are just drawn to lying like moths are to a lightbulb. Ann Coulter Ann picks a different moment: After Dick Cheney had beaten Edwards about the head for a while during the debate, Edwards waved his girlish hands and said: "There are 60 countries who have members of al-Qaida in them. How many of those countries are we going to invade?" [...] Democrats are now on the record: 60 countries harbor al-Qaida. But apparently the one nation that had managed to entirely purge itself of all al-Qaida members was Iraq – under the great statesman Saddam Hussein! Iraq is the only country in the world liberals believe was hermetically sealed from al-Qaida. Not only would the Democrats not have attacked Iraq, they would have given Saddam Hussein an award for having so thoroughly rid his nation of al-Qaida members. (And I know these Democrats are very proud of their superior manicures, but someone should tell Edwards to keep those girlish hands down.)   Translation: The Democrats wouldn't have attacked Iraq at all, while the Republicans really do plan to engage in pre-emptive attack on those 60 nations which contain al Qaeda members.  Plus, the Republicans don't believe in personal hygiene.  That's why they're morally superior to the Democrats, and are the Party of Ann Coulter. Note: TBogg notes a case of "hand-envy" in Ann's vehemence about girlish hands. Emmett Tyrrell Emmett explains that Democrats are better at debating than Republicans, so the debates aren't important in choosing a President.  However, Bill Buckley is a great debater, so maybe he should be President.  But then again, Cheney won the Tuesday night debate, so maybe HE should be President -- Buckley could be his V.P.  And then he and Cheney could hold sleepovers at the White House, and they'd invite Emmett to them, and it would be so cool! Thus far the debates have been unimpressive, save for Cheney the other night. His clear victory over Edwards was brought to confusion by the bilge pumps of the Kultursmog [Tyrell's pet phrase for the "liberal media," meaning "the media"]. Nonetheless he won. Surely Buckley agrees.  And Emmett would ask his good friend Buckley to confirm that he thinks that Cheney won, except that even Buckley has some standards, and won't take Emmett's phone calls.  It's all that damned Kultursmog's fault! Some of the other Townhallers wrote about topics other than Dick Cheney's visit to the woodshed.  Let's look at some of their columns, even though it probably goes against Ed Gillespie's orders. Thomas Sowell Some people vote for good government.  They are ninnies.  You should vote for government which is bad for other countries, and good for people who are not you (i.e., rich people).  That's the Republican way -- a way that African-Americans had better start following, or there will be no kidneys for them! Those who vote on the basis of what the government can do for them are especially short-sighted during a war against worldwide terror networks. What good would it do to get free prescription drugs forever if your forever is likely to be cut short by more attacks like those on September 11, 2001?  What good will schools, roads, jobs, etc., do you if you're dead?  Therefore, vote for George Bush -- he will do nothing for you, meaning that if you do die, you won't be missing much. Marvin Olasky Marv decides that Kerry isn't really much of a Catholic because he sees good in other religions, and never talks about sin -- so Marv excommunicates him.  Marv then declares himself Pope, and canonizes George Bush.  Is Kerry a CINO, a Catholic in name only? He goes to Mass but windsurfs theologically: He has "always been fascinated by the Transcendentalists and the Pantheists and others who found these great connections just in nature, in trees, the ponds, the ripples of the wind on the pond, the great feast of nature itself." Is George Bush a MINO, a Methodist in name only?  He doesn't go to church, and never reads anything about other religions (in fact, he doesn't read anything).  So, I guess he passes Marv's religion test. Once the theological ball is dropped, other balls -- marriage, sanctity of life and so on -- also hit the floor. The noise of all those balls dropping is mixed with the sound of most Catholics fleeing the Kerry campaign -- and also backing Bush because of a common social vision. Do "most" Catholics really back Bush?  Here's a bit from a recent news story: A recent poll suggests a majority of Catholics who are likely voters attend mass at least once a week, and Bush gets a majority of the churchgoers’ votes. [...] Catholics who don’t worship regularly tend to back Kerry, according to the poll. Many of them are already targeted by Kerry’s campaign because they are part of his base – union members, minorities and low-income earners. But I'm sure Pope Marv will say that union members, low-income earners. and people who vote for Kerry aren't actually Catholic, so Marv's statement is still true.  David Limbaugh David says that the current political situation is like an old movie where the bad guys (the media) are shooting at the good guy (Bush) so that the main villain (Dracula) can turn into a bat and deal with domestic issues. The New York Times on Sunday splashed its front page with the beginning of a 10,000-word story suggesting the Bush administration willfully ignored evidence that certain aluminum containers in Iraq were not likely for the production of nuclear weapons.            Conspiracy or not, the Old Media have to be aware that the only chance Kerry has to win is to keep the heat on President Bush and away from John Kerry. The NYT makes a compelling case that the Bush administration willfully ignored evidence that wouldn't support their "Iraq has WMDs" argument.  The Times is either part of a conspiracy to help John Kerry, or is part of a conspiracy to hurt George Bush.  Those are the only possibilities. It's like an old western movie with the media crouched behind some barricade shooting at President Bush while John Kerry, with the media's cover, is free to leave his own barricade and move freely toward domestic issues. [...] I understand President Bush's desire to be gentlemanly and polite, but he shouldn't do so at the expense of the public's edification on the scary Kerry record. As we've seen in the past few months, like a vampire, John Kerry can't stand the light of day. It's time for the president to pry open Count Kerry's coffin during daylight hours and let the sun shine in.  To extend the movie metaphors further, as we've seen in the last few days, George Bush and Dick Cheney are like Judy Garland and Mickey Rooney.  They wanted to put on a show, so they throw together some lies and some talking points, had Ed Gillespie make some costumes, and then they sold tickets to the whole town.  When some people said they didn't like their show, Judy and Mickey were too polite to do anything about the criticism except sulk and whine and tell more lies.  But eventually all the pent-up petulance caused them to transform into Teenage Wolfmen and go on a rampage, all the while complaining that campaigning is hard work, and that those damned villagers were out to get them.  Well, that will be David's spin on Friday's townhall-style debate -- stay tuned for more of the Midnight Movie then.  Ben Shapiro Ben gives Bush some great advice: make your campaign be about bashing gay marriage!  Sure, you'll probably lose the election, but you'll help protect young Ben from himself. Debating is about exceeding expectations. Before the first debate, Americans expected President Bush to beat Kerry. Um, no, Ben -- actually Americans expected Kerry to beat Bush.  Check the Townhall columns from last week, and note the recurrent theme: "Being the best candidate isn't about winning the debate, it's about not being able to speak clearly, being a dry drunk, and being from Texas." But after Kerry exceeded expectations in the first debate, the onus shifted to him for the second debate. Kerry must now win the second debate in decisive fashion, while Bush must only exceed expectations. And since this time people's expectations of Bush are -5 on a scale of 1 to 10, if he shows up, doesn't choke on a pretzel, and doesn't wet himself, people will say he did better than they expected.  Of course, Kerry will still win, but "debating is about exceeding expectations."  Because Ben said it was. The gay lobby contests that marriage has already been weakened by a high divorce rate. True. But destroying the concept of marriage as it has always stood does nothing to rectify that problem. Redefining marriage to include same-sex couples is about as effective in fixing marriage as renaming South Central Los Angeles was in reducing crime rates.  True.  But "the gay lobby" isn't claiming they are trying to fix marriage, they just want to join it.  Letting them get married would be about as effective at hurting marriage as renaming South Central Los Angeles was in increasing crime rates. The Bush campaign has been hesitant to speak about gay marriage, fearing a "tolerant" backlash. But it's about time that Bush stopped ignoring the elephant in the center of the living room.  He could make that a big part of his campaign: Vote intolerant, vote Bush!  Hey, lies aren't working that well for him right now, so maybe it's time for some truth in advertising. Michelle Malkin Michelle is also fed up with Bush for being so tolerant -- she thinks he needs to use the armed forces to blow up some neighborhoods right here in the U.S. You know what makes me nervous about President Bush? It's not his facial expressions. Nor his verbal clumsiness. I don't care about his alleged weakness at the podium. What concerns me more than anything else is his demonstrated weakness at our borders. To recap the column so far: George Bush makes dopey faces, can't talk and think at the same time, and can't debate -- and worst of all, he's weak on defending our borders.  So far, not a ringing endorsement of Bush from Michelle. Immigration enforcement is the six-ton elephant in the room. Hey, I thought gay marriage was the elephant in the room.  Just how many elephants ARE there in this room anyway?  Sure, this is the elephant party and all, but, um, is anybody cleaning up after these pachyderms in the house? On the same day of the presidential debate last week, alarming news broke in McAllen, Texas, which underscores the illegal immigration/terrorism nexus. The feds have been investigating evidence from a high-level al Qaeda operative that the terrorists were planning to poison our military's supply of MREs (meals ready-to-eat). In the course of the investigation, law enforcement officers initiated a sweep of a McAllen-area defense subcontractor, the Wornick Company, which produced MREs and had been an alleged target of al Qaeda. Luckily, no signs of sabotage or terrorist infiltration were uncovered. But the place was crawling with illegals (mostly, but not all Mexican) who used falsified ID and employment forms. And this underscores the illegal alien/terrorism nexus: a bunch of illegal aliens were working at a defense subcontractor, and they DIDN'T DO ANYTHING WRONG!  I think Michelle is right -- we need a President who will "hunt them down right here, jail them, kick them out and keep them out of our home." Otherwise, we may end up with even more MREs that aren't poisoned.  Dr. Professor Mike Adams As commenter Brad noted yesterday, Mike has once again taken up his crusade about the case of Charles Sell, a dentist accused of Medicaid fraud, and of plotting to kill an FBI agent and witnesses.  The story is noteworthy because Sell has been deemed incompetent to stand trial, but refuses to take the medication which could render him competent, so he has been held without trial for seven years.  Last time Mike write 3 or so columns about the case, and accused the NY Times of bias for covering the Abu Ghraib abuses instead of Sell's plight -- when, as noted back then, the Times had covered the story seven times (albeit, not this year, since nothing much has happened in the case this year).  This time Mike goes after Dan Rather, and asks him why HE isn't covering Sell's case, since Sell was tortured just like the Abu Ghraib prisoners, and the jail, court, media, goverment, etc. is trying to cover it up.   However, like Brad said, what Mike doesn't tell you is that everybody (except Sell and apparently Mike) agree that Sell is mentally ill (he suffers from a persecutory delusional disorder).  He has told doctors that his gold fillings were contaminated by Communists, and he once called the police to report that a leopard was boarding a bus outside his office.  But to Mike, the doctors' diagnosis just proves Sell's story -- because they wouldn't  label him "crazy" if he wasn't telling the truth! He is a member of the Army Reserve who was summoned in 1993 for the Waco raid in Texas. He now says that he was targeted for prosecution based on his outspokenness against what happened.  One reason for claiming that Dr. Sell was incompetent was disbelief of his allegations of bizarre abuse similar to that uncovered by the press concerning the Iraqi prisons.  Long before the sadomasochism in Iraq came to light, Dr. Sell described similar treatment of himself.  And another reason for claiming that Sell was incompetent was his bizarre police report about the leopard and the commie contaminated gold fillings.  And the fact that he was unruly in court when the judge tried to advise him of his rights.  And while just because he's paranoid, it doesn't they're not out to get him, his being paranoid certainly doesn't prove that they ARE out to get him.  Mike, before you try to get Dan Rather to take up the case of a prisoner being subjected to bizarre abuse, shouldn't you have more than the word of a man suffering from paranoid delusions? Right now, you have lost all of your credibility with the public, Mr. Rather. Isn’t this a great opportunity to show us that you care about our citizens, just as much as you care about Iraqi prisoners of war? Dan, if you want to regain credibility, taking advice from Mike Adams is the last thing you should do.  And Mr. Sell, if you want people to take your case seriously, you should try to distance yourself from Mike Adams.  He is hurting your credibility, and making you look even crazier. So, Townhall.  Not a nice place to visit, but think of what it would be like to live there! 1:02:58 AM