He Watches TV So You Don't Have To!Neil of I’m Just Sayin' informs us that he's got "Kerry’s complete performance up and running plus, as a special bonus to the ones I love, Green Day’s performance of 'American Idiot' (and an extra surprise bonus too). Who luvs ya baby?" I think that's a rhetorical question. Anyway, the bonus bonus was pretty interesting, so you might want to check it out. 3:23:29 AM  |
It Doesn't Remind Me of the Nuremberg Rally Photos At All!But, for your edification, here's a photo from the big Bush rally in Maine. And by scrolling through the day's posts at the Bush Official Blog, we learn the new groups the Bush campaign is turning to for support: nine-year-olds ("Noah McCullough [...] who plans to run for President as a Republican in 2032, invites you to stump him with your Presidential history questions and discusses why, knowing all he knows about America's Presidents, he believes it's critical we re-elect President Bush and Vice President Cheney") and dogs ("Take it from man's best friend ... Bush-Cheney is the right team for the next 28 years [that's four to you and me]"). Of course, the dogs in the photos don't look too bright, so I guess it's not surprising they're voting for Bush this time. 2:46:02 AM |
Fighting Terrorism Through Words Michelle Malkin alerts us to the following important technological breakthrough:
Well, I don't use Movable Type so the killer app wouldn't work for me -- but since I'm sick of terrorist-sympathizing news organizations using weasel words, I did the next-best thing. Yes, I did a Google News search for the weasel words, and manually replaced them with the more exact "terrorist." Lets look at some of my newly unsanitized results for the word "gunmen," and discuss what they teach us about Bush's war on terrorism:
Okay, thanks to the new technology we learn that terrorists are striking in the heartland, and even convenience stores in small towns in Illinois aren't safe. We must reelect George Bush, so he can continue to protect us from such attacks. Now, here's some of what you get when you use the technique for the word "militant":
Thus, we learn that the crusades were terrorist attacks on Muslims -- sure, we guessed as much, but the terrorist-sympathizing media would never come right out an say it. But even more shocking is the news that Marvin Olasky's World Journalism Institute advocates terrorism.
Is WJI a madras, training religious zealots for secret missions within our country, or is it something even more sinister? I don't know, but I find the following passage quite chilling:
So, if the WJI advocates terrorism, and Jack Kelley, who was scheduled to be a lecturer at the institute, fabricated stories about terrorism, then ... um, well, I don't know what it means, but it's something that Homeland Security should probably investigate. Our Google search also revealed that people besides Michelle are upset by the weasely media, and they give us some more examples of words the cowards use instead of "terrorist":
So, "The Babe In the Bunker" would probably buy a copy of this new word-replacement application. And then there's this nationally-known pundit:
Wait, that's Michelle -- so maybe there's not as widespread a demand for this killer ap as we believed at first. Anyway, when we search for "activist" and then replace that generic word with "terrorist," we get results like the following:
Those damned terrorists, trying to get to our kids through better air quality! This story is even more alarming:
Yes, it seems that "Buckhead," the guy who first posted about the Killian memos possibly being fakes, is a GOP terrorist! And, he was involved in getting Clinton disbarred! So, did terrorists fabricate the Killian memos in an effort to influence the results of a Presidential election? And was the Clinton impeachment effort led by terrorists, perhaps to prepare the way for their candidate, George W. Bush? All these issues seem to warrant several congressional hearings! And then there's this item about a member of a terrorist group which seeks to recruit our young people -- and trains them to conduct attacks on our elected leaders:
The Young Republicans is on the State Department's list of state sponsors of terrorism, I believe. And by replacing "activist" with the more exact "terrorist" in the following story, we learn a little more about how terrorists are working against us here at home:
I find it reprehensible that a terrorist would take his 3-year-old daughter along on a mission to spread disruption and chaos! This GOP terrorist group apparently uses methods similar to some of the Palestinian ones. We learned from Bill O'Reilly that terrorists share resources and generally pal around together (which is why invading Iraq was part of the vengeance against the perpetrators of 9/11) -- so, to help our good friend Israel, I think it's time for a preemptive strike on RNC Headquaters. Oh, and when we search for news stories using the word "rebel," and then replace that term with "terrorist," we uncover the hideous truth of where Terrorist Central is situated: Mississippi! Just look at this story, and see if you don't agree:
I can't believe that they dare announce such things on the internet! It's like they believe the FBI isn't even paying attention -- and maybe it isn't, since their computers are known to be outdated and inefficients, so they presumably don't have the killer ap. And there are scores of stories about the Old Miss Terrorist football team, Terrorist volleyball, etc. (presumably they hold playoffs against Hammas, the IRA, and the rest of the World Wide Terrorism League). When you think about it, it's not surprising that Mississippians seem drawn to terrorism -- after all, their forebears were known for being terrorists during the American Civil War, and that heritage is proudly celebrated to this day. Still, I find it shocking that they are so cavalier about their loyalties, and suggest that we intern the whole state -- you know, to keep the rest of us safe. One last Google citation:
No wonder the Patriot Act included that section on library records! Anyway, I want to thank Michelle and her cohorts for helping me to see things more clearly. By eliminating namby-pamby words from news stories and replacing them with more precise terms, I have learned a lot, and feel much better prepared to fight the terrorists around me. I'm leading a raid against the World Institute of Journalism first thing next week. 12:55:59 AM |
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