The World O' Crap Archive

Welcome to the Collected World O' Crap, a comprehensive library of posts from the original Salon Blog, and our successor site, world-o-crap.com (2006 to 2010).

Current posts can be found here.

Tuesday, January 11, 2011

August 24, 2004 by s.z.


A Special Message from Jenna and Barbara Bush 

Dear World O'Crap
We're sure that you have no doubt who we'll be voting for in November. But you should also know that we would be voting for our Dad in this election even if he had not raised us, loved us, tutored us, coached us, and even listened to a few excuses from us for late curfews.

Girls, I know you may actually mean what Marc Raciot told you to say, but I have a hard time believing that hip, "with it" party girls like yourselves would vote for George W. Bush if he weren't your father.  In fact, I doubt that you'd vote at all.
We have been privileged to know our President personally and we know he is the right person to lead our country - especially when there are so many important issues at stake.
Again, not to disparage what Karen Hughes wrote for you to say, but why should we take advice about who should lead the country from two young women whose knowledge of important issues seems to be limited to "don't wear white after Labor Day" and "Ashton's friends are, like, so cool!"
Our Dad has qualities that are needed in a good President - loyalty, humor (embarrassing as it sometimes may be), compassion, and, most importantly, integrity. We're not the only ones who see it. In fact, our friends - from varying political backgrounds - are supporting our Dad in November.
Wow, if the twins' friends are supporting Dad Bush, then for sure I will vote for him!  I too want to be part of their cool teen gang!
Not only because of his decisions to liberate the women of Afghanistan
Yeah, that 9/11 thing had nothing to do about the invasion of Afghanistan -- it was all about making things better for women.
 ... or bring freedom to the people of Iraq,
"Weapons of mass destruction?  We have no idea what you're talking about."
... but because during the last ten years they met a man whose title was Governor or President, but who was always happy to be known as "our Dad." He made everyone feel welcome and comfortable in our house (except for the occasional boyfriend) and our friends got to know him as a really good guy.
Again, if a bunch of rich, indulged 20-somethings thinks Bush is a good guy because he was happy to be known as "Jenna and not-Jenna's Dad," then he's obviously the best man to be the leader of the free world.
We know that when you get to know his record as President, you too will feel compelled to participate in this year's election - and hopefully get involved in the campaign, too.
Oh, right -- his record as President.  Girls, mentioning that was probably a mistake, because I no longer feel like voting for him just because he didn't ground you for all those curfew violations.
We know it can be hard to find time to think about politics. We just graduated from college and are perfectly aware that schoolwork, parties, and extra-curricular activities keep students busy, away from campaigns and voting booths.
Yeah, parties and extra-curricular activities can be a bitch.  Especially the parties.
In the last election, less than half of 18- to 24-year-olds were registered to vote, and only 32% of them actually did vote. Sadly, many Americans our age did not take advantage of their right to vote.
Of course, it's only sad if they didn't vote REPUBLICAN.
We are asking you to get involved with this campaign not only because it is the most critical election of our lifetime, but also because we have the ability to positively change our future.
By building a time machine, going back to November 1999, and fixing those Florida voting booths.
Thanks for taking a few minutes to think about some big issues. This is a really important election, and we know that with your help our Dad will win in November.
Wow, those issues were so big that I'm going to have to lie down for a while. But thanks for showing a little skin for your Dad.  I hope it helps his chances.

12:39:00 AM

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