November 15, 2004 by s.z.

Wazzup With Wingnuts?

The time when we check in with some of our favorite nuts, and find out what's new with them.

1.  Let's start with our old friend Dr. Mikey Adams, who is being threatened with a defamation of character lawsuit as a result of that really nasty piece he wrote about now-Senator Julia Boseman (the column in which he alerted voters to Ms. Boseman's disgraceful lesbianism on the same day that all the other wingnuts were up in arms about John Kerry's affrontery in mentioning Mary Cheney's A-OK lesbianism). 

I have not yet completed the follow-up to my recent article “Religious discrimination at the University of Georgia.” I know that the article was due this week and I am truly sorry. The delay has something to do with the really bad news: Mike Adams, Townhall.com, and a few other sites that reprint my column have been threatened with a lawsuit by newly elected North Carolina State Senator Julia Boseman.

On November 9th, Boseman threatened us with a lawsuit for defamation of character as a result of my October 14th article entitled: “If your brother is the father of your child…” According to Boseman’s attorney, the following line from the editorial is false and defamatory: “Recently, (Julia Boseman) and her ‘domestic partner’ had a baby, which was made possible by a sperm donation from her biological brother.” Instead, the attorney insists that the sperm donation came from a sperm bank.

Boseman has made it clear that a defamation suit can be avoided if we will, among other things, print a retraction. 

[...]

I think that we should do the right thing and print a retraction immediately. The aforementioned “defamatory” line should be changed to read: “Recently, (Julia Boseman) and her ‘domestic partner’ had a baby, which was made possible by a sperm donation from a total stranger.”

Yeah, Mike is nothing if not a class act.

I’m not in such a nice mood anymore. As we say in Texas, someone just ticked off the wrong cowboy.

And as we say in the rest of the country, "What a loser!"

2.  And speaking of losers, what's new with Mike's buddy Doug Giles?  Well, TBogg has the highlights of his latest column, which is about how we should all stop being metrosexuals and celebrate the"testosterone fog God created us to live in" by joining the Army -- like Doug has.  

However, I did want to call to your attention one portion of the column:

And lastly, for all the metrosexuals in Hollyweird and all you anti-American imbeciles blogging away on your computers, sitting in your tattered underwear drinking Mountain Dew and eating Domino’s Pizza, please remember this little ditty from Zell Miller about the soldiers you rail against and the nation they serve

LOL.  It seems Doug failed to get the memo about how it's the noble yeoman bloggers of the 101st Fighting Keyboarders® (a registered trademark of TBogg's Anti-Americans 'R Us) who blog in their pajamas (or tattered underwear), while drinking Mountain Dew and eating Domino's Pizza.  We liberal elitist bloggers sit at our computers in our ball gowns, drinking Dom Pérignon champagne and eating quail eggs stuffed with truffles.  At least, I know I do. 

Poor Doug.  I guess we imbeciles are getting to him.  I bet he's not in a nice mood either (or, as they say in Texas, is "PMSing bigtime").

3.  Remember our old friend Chris Davis, who wrote "Paean To a Fuzzball" (or, as he entitled it, "Rush Limbaugh is 'The Passion'")? 

Well, he's back, and this time he's not a love-struck redneck, he's an angry white man!

I’m an angry white man. I live in a red state. I voted for Newt Gingrich in 1994. I voted for President Bush in 2004. I am a sexist, homophobic, conservative animal.

Well, so far he hasn't done much to win our sympathy.

For forty years, liberalism has sought to cage my love of America. I am to blame for The Revolutionary War, the Civil War, and World Wars I and II.

To be fair, if Chris is only 40, he's probably not responsible for those wars.

In Vietnam, I celebrated the return of our fine young men and women when others spat on them.

He did this in Vietnam, where there was less spitting.

While liberals threw medals at the White House, I held them in contempt.

The medals?

I denied the charges of liberals when they denigrated the men and women in the National Guard by accusing them of dodging the draft.

I don't think anybody, not even the liberals, have accused the women in the National Guard of dodging the draft.

I wept the day the Twin Towers fell to the ground, and rejoiced when the first bombs fell on the Taliban. I cheered louder and longer the day Saddam Hussein was yanked from the spider hole.

Sure, 9/11 was a downer, but bombing the Taliban was lots of fun.

My chest swells with pride as the Iraqi people grow more and more sovereign every day.  I feel the loss of every son and daughter in the War on Terror as if it were my own child.

And what about the civilian casualities, some of whom actually are children?  I wonder if angry white Chris feels their loss too.

I continue my unconditional support of our U.S. Military with every nerve ending in my body.

But maybe they'd appreciate better pay, better equipment, and a better plan for getting them home more that then would nerve ending support.  No, wait, he voted for Bush, so I guess he thinks nerve endings are enough.

I feel women are far too special—having the ability to carry life inside of them—to treat as subservient. I stand strongly against categorizing them as if they’re victims. Nevertheless, in the minds of feminists, I am responsible for keeping women’s wages low through pregnancy and motherhood.

Yeah, Chris isn't responsible for getting these women pregnant!  No, they do that themselves, and thus deserve low wages because their "specialness" causes them to have to take time away from work to bear and care for those kids they keep making.

I feel it is my duty to protect the woman I love, my family, and my property.

So, if I understand what Chris is saying, he claims he has to protect women, not because they are victims, but because they are like his property. 

So, I became angrier when Chris Matthews verbally assaulted Michelle Malkin and cut her second segment—a woman of fine integrity and a wonderful example of intellectual conservatism. I was enraged—October 20, 2004—when Joe Scarborough treated Ann Coulter like a second class citizen, trying to impugn the intelligence of a brilliant woman. This is a woman that isn’t just a pretty face, but makes feminists wet their Depends and liberal men call for their mothers when comparing I.Q. tests. I am confident that Ann Coulter is one of the finest representatives of womanhood and conservatism in America.

Um, right.  Michelle Malkin is wonderful example of an intellectual, and Ann Coulter is one of the finest examples of womanhood in America. 

I'd be tempted to just walk away while shaking my head sadly, but I can't believe that Joe Scarborough would treat Ann like a second-class citizen.  So, I did a Google search.  It turns out that Ann wasn't a guest on Scarborough Country on October 20th -- however, per the transcript of the Oct 19th show (posted Oct. 20) Ann was there on that day.  But not Joe Scarborough.  The show was hosted by Lawrence O'Donnell.  Guests included Paul Kengor and Ed Rollins.  Nobody impugned Ann's intelligence -- in fact, they treated her like she was a rational human being (which, as usual, was a big mistake). 

COULTER:  This is very charming that Paul was trying to be very bipartisan about this, but as long as we are talking about praying going into wartime, when Bill Clinton was on the phone discussing troops—sending troops into Bosnia with a congressman...

O‘DONNELL:  Be careful how you phrase this, Ann. 

(LAUGHTER)

COULTER:  ... he was being fellated by Monica Lewinsky. 

O‘DONNELL:  Ah, OK.. 

Let's hear it for one of the finest examples of womanhood in America!

So, no impugning.  I guess poor Chris was just so distracted by Ann's pretty face, he thought that if he defended her in his essay, she'd call him at home and declare her love for him, like Rush Limbaugh did.

Oh, and what about Rush "The Passion" Limbaugh.  Are he and Chris still an item?

I still think Rush Limbaugh is “The Passion.”

I guess so.

4.  And speaking of Rush, Rabbi Shmuley Boteach agrees with Rush that the real moral values that caused people to vote for Bush were anti-Hollywood, anti-boobie ones.

The first [proof] comes from the fact that Pete Coors, the beer magnate – who hails from a staunchly conservative and Republican family – lost in Colorado, a strongly Republican state. The morality-voters, who now dominate the Republican Party, saw Coors, who airs some of the most sexually explicit and exploitative commercials on television, as a phony and a hypocrite.

And also, as Paul Weyrich, the King of the Wingnuts said, because God kinda slacked off during Pete's race. 

So even though he was opposed to gay marriage and abortion, the voters rejected him because of his fixation with scantily-clad twins. We don't need to watch football with our 10-year-old sons and see soft porn on television during the commercial break.

Because if you have premium cable, you don't need to watch football in the hopes of getting some soft porn during the commercial breaks -- you can get all the commercial-free soft porn you want!

The second proof comes from the fact that more than two-thirds of married-with-children women voted for Bush – even though women are traditionally one of the strongest Democratic constituencies. Why did they come out for Bush? Because their most valuable possession is their children, and parents are frankly tired of putting their kids in front of a television and not being able to trust what they watch.

Yup.  The much-vaunted "Security Moms" are really "Using TV as a Babysitter Moms" who voted for Bush because he promised to get trash like "The O.C" off the air.  No, wait -- that's the First Twins' favorite program, so he wouldn't have promised that.  Why the hell DID they come out for Bush?

They are shocked that they need to install special spy software to track what sites their kids visit on the Internet. They don't want to see their daughters coming home from high school in a thong, and they are disgusted that when they send their kids to college, one of the first things they learn is how to do drugs.

So, THAT's why they voted for Bush -- he said he would ensure that their daughters didn't home from school wearing thongs, and that their kids could learn to use drugs at COMMUNITY college.  You know, values.

2:48:03 AM