July 23, 2004 by s.z.

And in Other News . . .  Here are some things that you might find entertaining, informative, amusing, and/or horrifying. 1.  First, Clarified presents a copy of a letter written by a well-known personality.  For fun, don't read the introduction and try to guess who wrote it , for what purpose, and whether the writer ever made it through the 8th grade. 2.  Bartholomew reviews and quotes from an upcoming book that answers the age-old question: "Did God Kill Franklin D Roosevelt?"  (It turns out that He probably did, and it was in retaliaton for FDR's having met with King ibn Saud.  It seems that God has had it in for the Arabs ever since Abraham begat Ishmael with a woman not his wife.  And because America has married both Isaac and Ishamael, we find ourselves at war with terrorism.  Or something like that. ) 3.  And Banana Slug has uncovered the Family Circus cartoons that Bil Keane doesn't want you to see!  First, here's a sordid glimpse into Billy's current state of depravity (click the images to make them larger).  Then, peruse (if you dare!) this shocking discovery: a crumpled drawing found in Keane's trash can which reveals more than you want to know about those adorable FC moppets.  I don't know if I will ever think of Billy and Dolly the same way again! 7:21:41 AM

Family Circus Donkey Rides Today's Cartoon  (See it here): In a shocking development, Daddy, Billy, and Dolly are colored gray today.  They are standing by the edge of the cliff (at least there's a guard rail this time), watching a line of tourists riding burros down a trail. Billy says, "It'd be easier if they had escalators." Analysis and Prediction: Why are Daddy, Billy, and Dolly gray today?  Have they been turned to stone or what?  No, I think it's merely meant to symbolize that the sun has set on the Bush campaign, and represented by Dubya (Billy), Karen Hughes (Dolly), and Karl Rove (Daddy).  Billy, desperate to regain the support of populace, is full of wild schemes, like installing escalators to carry tourist-laden burros down the mountain side.  Of course, he doesn't really care about the burros, and his faith-based "Escalators in National Parks to Carry Americans to Heaven" plan is meant to appeal to his evangelical base.  However, Dolly and Daddy know that it's already too late, and don't even bother to tell Billy that he's an idiot.  In fact, Daddy appears lost in thought.  That's because he's recalling how everyone forgot Ronald Reagan's missteps once he died -- everybody loved him then.  That's why he's eying the slope, and his hand seems to preparing to give Billy a carefully calcuated push ... Keane has a dark, dark mind.   Anyway, that's my story and I'm sticking to it?  Now here's the ever-lovable Pete, with his take on it.  (Yes, this new M-W-F schedule is tough on everybody, but no one has been harder hit than Pete -- maybe because he's spent too much time lusting after slutty college Republicans.  Go to The Dark Window and you'll see what I mean.) I can't remember if we're allowed to predict the future using tomorrow's cartoon or not. So just to be safe, I'll only offer a tantalizing hint... Bil Keane has only included a fraction of the family (S.Z. and Turkee are nowhere to be seen) and they are rapidly turning to the dark side. Notice how a dark, heavy shadow rests over them. Unfortunately, the cartoons don't lie. Keane is not at all happy at S.Z.'s decision to curtail the predictions and is about to plunge all of us into a new dark age. All hail John Kerry. -- Pete M.   And here's the lovely and talented Alison (you'll notice that she's not having trouble with the schedule -- I guess that's because she's not wasting HER brain cells on Young Republican porn): Yes it would be easier if they had escalators, but see how the Dem donkeys are carefully and sure-footedly picking their way through the rocky Repub-rubble on the one good trail to their destination. And Pete, I think the FC family are blue today because of our recent sexual innuendos about them - they now have a "blue" rating.  -- Alison   So, what's your view on the new color scheme?  What happened to Mommy, Jeffy, and PJ?  What does it all mean?  Think it had anything to do with the last Parade (that supplement that comes with the Sunday paper), and its feature piece about Bill O'Reilly's visit to the Grand Canyon?  He rode burros too.  Do you believe that Mommy is off banging O'Reilly, and that's why Daddy is blue?  Here's your choice to let your voice be heard! 5:37:44 AM

The Manchurian Conspiracy! From Thursday evening's Drudge Report:  RICH: 'MANCHURIAN CANDIDATE' MORE PARTISAN THAN 'FAHRENHEIT 911' Thu Jul 22 2004 20:56:59 ET "I cannot recall when Hollywood last released a big-budget mainstream feature film as partisan as this one at the height of a presidential campaign." So believes NY TIMES's Frank Rich about the upcoming PARAMOUNT thriller MANCHURIAN CANDIDATE. "Freed from any obligations to fact, MANCHURIAN CANDIDATE can play far dirtier than FAHRENHEIT 911," writes Rich in a column set for release this Sunday, newsroom sources tell DRUDGE. "This movie could pass for the de facto fifth day of the [Democrat] convention itself." [...] Developing... But ... but . . .didn't I read that Meryl Streep had modeled her portrayal of the "villainous senator" on Hillary Clinton, and that Republican Hillary-haters would love this movie?   Why, yes I did -- at Drudge's site.  Here's part of Maureen Farrell's Buzzflash report on the matter: Last month, on June 14, the Drudge Report featured the headline ‘Meryl as Hillary in the Manchurian Candidate?’ And certainly, with the remake of the Manchurian Candidate premiering on July 30, it’s not surprising that the film is making headlines. But, as is often the case with Matt Drudge’s site, the headline itself, which was linked to a story entitled "Meryl Streep’s Hillary Problem," wreaked of smarmy speculation. The story, written by the obviously well-credentialed "A Fly on the Wall," read, in part: "Paramount Pictures is worried that Meryl Streep's edgy, chilling performance as a U.S. Senator in The Manchurian Candidate, which opens at the end of next month, is too close to the real Senator Hillary Rodham Clinton, a pal inside the studio tells me. . .   ... "I don't know whether this is something she picked up subconsciously or an idea Jonathan gave her, but she's totally dead on. You feel like you're watching Hillary Clinton conspire to take over the world. The Republican Hillary-haters should totally eat this up." [Aflyonthewall] Of course, it is quite possibly true that Paramount is worried that Meryl Streep modeled her performance after Hillary Clinton. Yet, in April, the actress told Entertainment Weekly that to prepare for her role as Raymond Shaw's cold and manipulative mother, Mrs. Iselin (the role Angela Lansbury made unforgettable in the original), she watched a string of political talk shows. ''Anything with Peggy Noonan, Karen Hughes," she said. [...] The Drudge-linked piece was merely a vehicle to bash Hillary Clinton and infer that Democrats would invoke the wrath of God or Louis B. Mayer or, well, whoever it is they might invoke. Drudge linking to ill-founded gossip, just as an excuse to bash Hillary?  No way! Besides, no less an authority than Rush Limbaugh also assured me that Streep does look just like Hillary in this movie, and that the left is mad about it. By the way, speaking of Meryl Streep, you know, she has a new movie coming out at the end of this month call the Manchurian Candidate. It is a remake of the old Angela Lansbury, Frank Sinatra movie. Angela Lansbury, by the way, has ripped this. She doesn't think that it's very good. But here's the thing. I saw some trailers, and the villainess in the movie, the Angela Lansbury character portrayed in this movie is Meryl Streep. She looks just like Hillary! Folks, she looks just like Hillary Clinton, and this woman in this movie is a mastermind of evil! If you've not seen it, I don't know about the new version, but the Sinatra version, I mean Angela Lansbury just pulled this off so well. I mean there was no Murder She Wrote character here in this one. She was the epitome of conspiratorial evil, and I think I even read where some people are upset on the left that Meryl Streep just comes off too much like Hillary Clinton here. Hairdo - everything, mannerisms, it's unmistakable.   But now, per Drudge, Frank Rich is saying that the movie is one big anti-Bush propaganda piece -- I am so confused!  Does this mean that Streep DIDN'T model her performance on Hillary Clinton?  Well, this is what Streep had to say to the Philly Inquirer: "I just came in to talk about the movie, and the first thing was an interview with Katie Couric - Dateline - and she said, 'Paramount evidently had to ask Jonathan Demme to reedit the film because your portrayal was so close to Hillary Clinton.' " "And I said, 'Where did you hear that? First of all, it's completely insane. And not true! But where did you hear it?' " Couric didn't quite answer the question. "So I went home and I Googled," says Streep, clearly rising to the challenge that she might be the target of a non-scripted conspiracy, "and I found the guy." It's a crazy person who has a Web site," she explains. "... And he has other really scary things on his Web site." I'm not sure if Streep is talking about "A Fly on the Wall," Drudge, or Rush, but I guess the shoe fits all of them. And here's Liz Smith: Would it be possible to can all the obvious speculation that Meryl Streep based her senator-villain in the remake of "The Manchurian Candidate" on New York's real-life Sen. Hillary Rodham Clinton? The 13-time Oscar nominee has more imagination than that. Take it from me, the two people Meryl studied were Karen Hughes, the former and still- sometimes adviser to President George W. Bush, and Reagan speechwriter and conservative thinker Peggy Noonan. Wow, Peggy and Karen -- talk about your epitomes of conspiratorial evil!  But what does Peggy think about all this? Which gets us to Hillary. It's a great favor to her that she won't be giving one of the big rabble-rousing speeches. When she speaks to a sympathetic audience eager for red meat her voice becomes high, harsh, grating--the first wife that your nice husband fled. People think the evil woman Meryl Streep plays in "The Manchurian Candidate" is Hillary because, well, they've seen Hillary make a speech.  But really that evil character is based on sweet, soft-spoken Peggy.  Now it all makes sense! But wait!  Here's what the evil Canadians are saying: Meryl Streep channelled former Republican first lady Barbara Bush for her performance as the evil, manipulative Eleanor Prentiss Shaw in the upcoming remake of The Manchurian Candidate, and not Democratic Senator Hillary Clinton as has been widely rumoured. "I categorically deny it's Hillary," Streep said. "My character couldn't be further away from her. "Of course I based Eleanor on someone and I think I'm doing a perfect imitation of that person." Streep would not come out and say directly that she imitated Barbara Bush, but she did name the wife of George H. Bush and mother of George W. Bush as the likely inspiration for the role played to villainous perfection by Angela Lansbury in the 1962 original. (The character's name was Mrs. Iselin in the original.) She then added, "I play a woman who will do anything to advance her son's well-being, to see that he gets to be president. He's a Harvard student, a smart kid, then he hits the skids and starts going downhill, so she has to do something. "And didn't you notice my pearls? I wore them all the time." Okay, I have to admit that Barbara Bush as the evil Angela Lansbury character AND as Streep's character makes a lot of sense.  I'm going to vote for that one.  But, in any case, although Streep and Denzel Washington have told reporters that the movie ISN'T partisan, and is really about corrupt politics in general, and how people can do horrible things if they think that the ends justify the means ("'We're careful not to identify a party, because there are people on both sides who are all tied in with these interests.'  Politics, Streep thinks, is a process that pushes good people over bad ethical lines"), watch for Rush, O'Reilly, Hannity, Brent Bozell, etc., to have a cow about how the liberals are making fun of them -- and in an election year too!  Let the outrage start .... NOW! *The photo is, of course, Angela Lansbury with director John Frankenheimer, and is from the DGA Frankenheimer Tribute site. 4:48:19 AM