July 18, 2004 by s.z.

Where Religion, Politics, Heavy-Handed Symbolism, and Bad Drawing Mix It's Sunday, and time for another "Hal Lindsey Oracle Cartoon" (as recomended by Pete "The Dark Window" M).  This week's is entitled A Question of Balance.  In it, a white-haired guy in a nice suit and sandals has his arm around a pregnant clown.  The clown has a colorful sign in his left arm which says stuff like "United Nations, More Taxes, No Child Left Behind ... Unless in the Womb," etc.  Instead of a right hand, the clown has hook! Well, actually a large button that says "Flip-Flop Twins." Oh, and the two guys are standing on a teeter-totter made up of piece of flimsy plywood balancing on an "Election 2004" logo.  These two are on top.  On the right side of the cartoon (and on the lower end of the teeter totter) is a guy with a disporportionately large head (his head is nearly as big as his torso, for heck's sake).  His crotch, however, is minuscule.  This old, sour, and rheumy-eyed guy (a drunk if I ever saw one) is also holding a sign.   His is in stark black-and-white, and says stuff like, "Won 2 Wars, Freed Millions, Restored Traditional Values," etc.  He has a thought bubble above his head which says, "They remind me of Isaiah five-twenty.*" A footnote at the bottom of the page informs those who don't own a Bible that Isaiah 5:20 says in part, "Woe to those who call evil good, and good evil." Analysis  & Prediction Do I really need to explain who the big headed, rheumy-eyed, no crotch guy who sees everything in black and white is supposed to be? Anyway, obviously this is a mote/beam parable, for if we read just a little further in Isaiah, we get the message that was there for him: Isiaah 5-21-22 Woe unto them that are wise in their own eyes, and prudent in their own sight!  Woe unto them that are mighty to drink wine, and men of strength to mingle strong drink. I'm not positive who the other two people are, though.  I think that the white-haired guy in the suit might be Bob "Mr. Baseball" "Mr. Belvedere Dad" Uecker.  Bob Uecker The clown looks like Janet Reno.  She and Bob are apparently a circus act. I might hazard a guess that John Rule is saying that a late-in-life marriage between Janet Reno and Bob Uecker will result in Janet getting pregnant, but Janet will experience some kind of medical condition that will cause in the child to be left behind in her womb forever -- however, that's kind of a weird prophecy.  In any case, these two people will apparently come out on top in the 2004 election. 6:07:30 AM

Post Traumatic Terror-in-the-Skies Syndrome Well, it's been an interesting couple of days, getting linked by Michelle Malkin and mentioned in a Little Green Goofballs thread.  But I think the excitement is over now, and we can get back to listening to sermons from Doug Giles and finding hidden messages in Hal Lindsey cartoons.  The whole experience just reaffirmed my belief that I'm not cut out for the big-time, because I don't enjoy this kind of attention.  But at least it provided Julia (the wise and funny woman behind Sisyphus Shrugged) with the material for a funny and psychologically astute post.  Trish Wilson also covered the issue, and her title distills all we need to learn from Annie's story: Airline Lesson #5: Never Trust A Woman Who Gets Her "Facts" About Arab Men and Air Flights From Ann Coulter.  And PZ of Pharyngula provides a photo of an actual U.S.-based Syrian band, for those who doubted such things existed.  There are more very good posts in the trackback section to the "Terror!!!" post.  So, what's new with Annie J's story?  Well, I can't see where the mainstream media (not even the non-elite Fox medium) has picked it up.  That's pretty telling right there.  Annie was on a bunch of talk radio shows, though, and she's apparently now the poster girl for the "We Need to Lynch Norm Mineta, Like Ann Coulter" said crowd. And speaking of psychological experiments, anybody needing a topic for a research paper should read the readers comments on this topic posted on some of the pro-war blogs --they offer good basic material on several basic psychological principles, such as the one about how fear and prejudices color assumptions.  Many people have made comments like "This was obviously a trial run for a bombing attack, or an aborted attack" -- their key piece of evidence is Annie's report that as one of the guys came out of the restroom, "he ran his forefinger across his neck and mouthed the word No."  I wish there was video of that -- I bet if a the guy had been wearing a priest's color, observers would have seen him cross himself and mouth the words "Holy Ghost."  And if he had been a voluptuous woman, observers would have seen her thrust out her breasts, brush her hair back from her shoulder, and mouth the word "So?"  But even assuming that Annie's description of his actions was 100% accurate, I don't know how this unequivocally translates to his involvement in a terrorist plot -- couldn't he have been telling the guy he was speaking to, "Touch my Coke and you're a dead man, my friend"?   Like I said, lots of raw material for any budding sociologists or psychologists out there.  However, to me the scariest thing about some of the comments is the advice about what to do if you are in a situation like Annie's.  The most common bit o' wisdom is to refuse to board a plane than has more than two Arabic-looking passengers.  I guess some people are going to be sitting in airports for a really long time.  Other tips include: pick a fight with one of the "terrorists" so that the pilot will have to land (sure, you'll go to jail, but you'll be ALIVE!).  Fake a medical emergency to get the plane to land.  Get into the restroom, lock the door, and don't come out until the plane lands.  Get into the restroom, and dump out the trash so you can examine it for suspicious-looking material.  Stand up in the cabin at the start of the flight and read Annie's article out loud to the group -- do it more than once, so everyone has a chance to hear it.  Take lots of really sharp pencils with you, and stab anyone who tries anything.  And, of course: I blame her husband. If I had been in his shoes with my wife and 3 yr old son on board I damn well would not have sat there like a sheep. I would have got up and sat right next to one of those #$%^&, especially the $%^&&# who glared at my wife. I, for one, am going down swinging. So, if you're swarthy, you'd better not glare at any white women, or you're toast! Anyway, here are some of the other interesting things going on in the blogosphere: 1.  Frederick from BeatBushBlog has a very informative piece about Iraqi Prime Minister Iyad Allawi.  You'll also be happy to hear that Frederick is an adorable little rodent. 2.  Jim at Rittenhouse review explores the perpetuation of that "Kerry is the Most Liberal Senator" bit of name calling.  He has also been checking into whether The Hunting of the President is (or will be) at a theater near you.  Plus, a fun new poll: Who is worse, the more offensive, odious, or objectionable, and limit your thought process not to the inexplicably popular, "Mad About You?"  Helen Hunt  Paul Reiser While you're there, donate to the Rittenhouse Review Summer Funding Drive. 3.  We're glad to hear that Anntichrist S. Coulter isn't dead or attending convent school, but merely getting over a bad case of a GI-tract infection (or something).  And, happily, when her strength permits she is guest-blogging at Jesus' General. 4.  Sadly, No! presents some very funny Amazon customer comments on My Pet Goat.  I hope some of them (along with a White House seal) can be included on the jacket of the next edition. And a lot of other good stuff that I didn't mention because you already knew about anyway.  So, enjoy! 4:31:06 AM